Homecoming

Photo from SM Entertainment

The year 2013 was the last time Super Junior set foot in the Philippines to hold a solo concert. It was a long-wait, and admittedly, most have outgrown the group. Many left the fandom for their education, career, relationships and families; and it’s an inevitable choice that people sometimes have to make: priorities.

Five years later, who would have known that these people who thought they’ve already graduated from this kind of phase in their lives, will suddenly realize that in just a little more than a month, it’s time to come home again.

I have to admit. There were no expectations or whatsoever about this concert. I honestly promised myself that I would just come there and enjoy, and then leave afterwards, since I need to focus on my work, business, and some other projects I am currently working on. You see, I thought Super Junior has already turned into a mere entertainment, distraction from my real life. Like all others, I thought I am way past my eighteen-year-old self already. I thought of just selling my ticket, to be honest. At 29, I thought my priorities had changed; and this is just nothing more like a trip down the memory lane.

But for the nth time, Super Junior had proven me wrong.

On the eve of the concert, I couldn’t sleep. Friends from Indonesia and Davao were flying in to Manila and I dwelled on the idea that I just wanted to keep track on them. But later on, I unexpectedly realized that the excitement means more. You know that feeling during the eve of your elementary field trip, a family outing, or your birthday party? That was basically how I felt that night. In the midst of believing that excitement is now how we feel when we’re off to travel, or we’re going on dates, or it’s already a few minutes before you clock out from work, that night brought me to a child’s definition of excitement. It was unexpectedly precious.

The sun rose and I went to Manila early because I had to do some sort of tour guide duties for my Indonesian friend. As we go around Intramuros, I felt so nostalgic not because I used to study there, but because never in my whole life did I see myself walking around the city with foreigners I met through Twitter on 2009. I mean, talking about Asian history and Philippine and Indonesian laws is what adults do, right? But we did that while waiting for the time when we would have to go to the venue for the concert. 

When we arrived at the concert hall, the first thing I did was meet up with my old friends from Davao and Laguna. And then I went to where TeukAngels were and then, the more I was brought to deeper realizations.

Talking to Aya, Jen, and Shane while distributing flyers for Teuk’s birthday was like the biggest reality check for me. The reminiscing was real. All the stories from the past, all the people we met, and all the new fans who introduced themselves to us that day, convinced me that God didn’t just bring me there to watch a concert. I was brought there to remind myself to live and love again.

Remembering everything I told Shane and Aya that afternoon, I can’t help but feel proud of myself. I can’t help but realize how matured we became, talking about things like depression, anxiety, and relationships. These seemed too simple; but back in the days, we wouldn’t even know what to say when things like this come up. We used to care only for ourselves and how we can create a mark on Jungsu and Super Junior. Suddenly, we understood people more. Now, it’s all about caring for each other; and rather than competing for the boys to believe that we are the best fans ever, we were now more focused on convincing them that even after a long time of absence, they still have a strong fan base in the Philippines.

The concert started a bit late, making me feel anxious and a little disheartened. But when I finally got to enter the venue with Regene, the very friend who was with me on Super Show 2 in 2010, my emotions were all over the place. I saw myself just staring in awe at the people around me, hearing their deafening cheers and watching them wave their blue light sticks. It was a scene I never thought I have missed so much.

And then that’s when I realized that finally, I am home.

After the concert, it was a pandemonium inside me. Two and half hours passed by so quickly that I felt like it didn’t happen. But I know it did because my heart felt so full.

I went out of the venue in a trance. If not for Aya screaming my name, I wouldn’t have known where to go. I just knew I had to bring Sai and Asha back to their hotel but I didn’t really know how. My mind was blank, as if it wouldn’t process anything that involves the fact that I have to leave the venue.

Now that I think about it, the difficulty to book a taxi is perhaps a blessing; because while waiting for the Grab app to work, I had my most favourite post-concert moment with Aya.

While watching people in a rush and while staring at the moonlit sky above, Aya and I were just sitting on the stair steps in front of the venue entrance when I suddenly heard myself telling her that I don’t want to leave the place yet. I said I wanted to savour the moment that I’m there while the boys are still inside and my friends are everywhere. Because during the whole time I was there, I felt infinitely safe, like nothing hurts. I felt like finally, after so many years, I’ve come home to where I really belong.

And for the first time in five years, I can confidently say that I am okay.

When I was younger, I ran this blog with articles saying how much impact Super Junior has made in my life. I kept on talking about how they are like miracles and blessings, and all good things to me; and I thought I have experienced everything they can give. But Super Show 7 in Manila convinced me that like how they are in everything else, they will consistently exceed my expectations.

Because this time, they do not just provide me with an escape. They have indeed molded my world into something I can totally be proud of; and I have just noticed that during the concert. 

Starting from when I reunited with my friends, it was already a proof of how these boys contributed immensely to my life. Because of Super Junior, we broke the stigma towards the internet, saying that no authentic relationship will ever bud out from it. But look what we have now? A family.

And as I watch the concert with them, I can't help but be more emotional. Because if you're there, you will also feel that it wasn't just a show. It was a sincere homecoming for everyone.

Right now, my heart is still full. Looking back at the years spent with and without Super Junior, I sincerely wish that every new fan today will get to experience the miracle brought by these boys. I hope that whatever blessing we have received by loving them unconditionally be given to you too. Because even though a lot of people would say that we’re weird for loving guys who wouldn’t even know who we are, trust us when we say that it doesn’t really matter because our love for each other will always be stronger, and enough to hold us tight together.

And then when another set of years pass by, it will be your turn to realize how Super Junior and this fandom will always be ready to welcome you home. 

After Six Years...

Yesterday, I came across the news about a Hong Kong popstar's death by car crash. I may not know who Sita Chan was but her death affected me. The incident obviously triggered my nostalgia, especially because it was April 18 when it happened. You see, it's just a day before the 19th; and the horror of April 19 never actually left my reverie.

I know I should move on and all. I don't even know them yet when that happened. But unknown to some, that was exactly what turned me into a fan. When I saw the clips of the accident being shown in Star King while Kyuhyun was singing A Whole New World with Charice Pempengco, it all began.

Truth is, I don't bask on the horrifying truth that I couldn't have known Kyuhyun and Jungsu (and Hyukjae and Donghee). The nostalgia immediately fades whenever I remember the incident, leaving me with nothing but intense gratefulness that... yeah, they're alive.

I may no longer be active in this fandom; but I never left. While I do think of that because of some normotic and obsessive fans, I could never push through. Because I love the fact that these boys are parts of my life. I'm glad to be here. I'm glad to be with them. 

And I am really thankful that fate had laid out bigger plans for them. And I wish that they are given longer lives and better chances to enjoy it well. 

The 7th Year...

So it's finally the 7th year anniversary.

I don't want to sound less interested but God knows I don't want to sound so trying hard either. It's November 6 and as much as I want to feel elated, I have to admit that I can't force a part of me into it.

Because this year, it's just so different for me. Because you see, the absence of the leader is taking ts toll on me.

I purposefully did not update myself about his enlistment. I purposefully did not intend to do anything unlike when Hee and Kangin enlisted. I purposefully pretended like I didn't care because I can't afford to be a complete mess. Things in my real life had gone out of hand that moment too and I have a family to support, so if I break down, I wouldn't be able to work and that would mean no money to provide for my loved ones.

But I guess, a day of nursing the pain of Jungsu's absence wouldn't damage me that much.

It's almost a week and for that whole span of time, I felt restless and quite incomplete. Perhaps, it really has something to do with my real lovelife but why would I deny that this whole army ordeal contributes too? I always run to Jungsu whenever I feel like a trash in the real world because although he doesn't know me, I know that he values me as his fan.

But obviously, he's temporarily gone.

And now it's the 7th anniversary and I should be happy. But as I said, I can't be fully happy when someone so special is out there. I know it's just the same when Heechul and Kangin left for enlistment, but there lies the great difference that Park Jungsu is Leeteuk, and Leeteuk is my bias.

Nonetheless, I wish the other members a thousand congratulations. It has been seven years, five of which I've been with them. Kangin's back and Heechul's coming back soon. While I can't even fathom why these things wouldn't pacify my incompleteness, I still hope that everybody would take the time to celebrate one of the best moments of our lives as ELF. It's not everyday (although it feels like that most of the time) that the group turns seven anyway.

So yeah, thank you Super Junior for the seven years of joy and happiness, of sorrow and tears, of hellos and goodbyes, of love and just love. Thank you for completing our lives and for allowing us to somehow be part of yours. What we have will never be replaced, no matter how many times we look toward the directions leading away from the other. Because in the end, our paths will still meet because since the very beginning, our destinies are intertwined as this.

I love you, guys. Happy anniversary!

It's Party Time with the Sexy, Free and Single (?)

When I saw the teaser for the first time, I didn't like it. Another box, just better. Then people were pointing out that the set was another recycled one because it was used already in one DBSK MV. Hyuk was made to wear something Sehun wore for History. And the song was somehow auto-tuned again.

But as I watch it for the second time, it felt like brand new. And I knew that I just got used to the old Super Junior scheme that I didn't notice the fact that Super Junior is presenting me with something quite extra ordinary.

There is something to expect, I thought.

***

I've listened to all SJ songs and I can say that this style is beyond their usual. When I first heard the song in full, I was easily addicted to it. It came unexpected though because although it has the same Yoo Youngjin-feel, it is strangely unique. Like there's something in it which was prepared for the past years.

Maybe I don't know much about music but I could say that this is close to club music. It makes you dance. It makes you move. It makes you close your eyes and imagine yourself popping to the beat. It makes you wonder if this is really Super Junior... or another group.

The song is addicting, and it is fucking way better than Mr. Simple.

***


I woke up to a bad weather. It was raining hard and even my parents were clueless why the weather was weird. There weren't any news that there's typhoon either. Class and work suspensions were announced here and there. And then, my TList told me that it was also raining in some parts of Singapore and Japan (where it was supposed to be sunny)... 


The answer came to me on 12PM KST though. SM Entertainment released the Sexy, Free and Single music video of Super Junior.

Rain kings, they are.


The music video is far better than I expected. Although they were still in a box, it was way better than anything else. You would easily notice that the company had indeed put effort for them this time. I personally love the sets...


AND THE EFFECTS.

I personally like the octagon design, although until now, I am not sure as to what that was for. I love how it exploded into pieces and then Yesung faded in singing his lines. The jumps were a little off for me but I think it was needed.

And then don't talk to me about the camera shots because I am fucking spazzing over it. IT DIDN'T MAKE ME DIZZY, that alone is reason enough to call this video perfect.

***


The choreography is awesome. 


It is not as move-y as Don't Don, not as complex as Sorry Sorry, not as catchy as Mr. Simple... But being a former dancer, boy the choreography is difficult. YOU WOULD NEED INTENSE SENSE OF BALANCE TO PERFECT THE STUNTS!

Many people would not agree. I, myself, didn't like it the first time I saw it. But it will grow on you guys, believe me. Although it looked like it was really intended for older dancers, it is really something we can call a 'GREAT DANCE'.

Why? Because the choreography is awesome.

***

The boys, themselves, basically slapped me with reality: SUPER JUNIOR OWNS ME.


I don't care about the leather whatever or Siwon's weird hairstyle, or anything else. These boys are perfect whatever you make them wear. The charm compensates for everything. The charm which is very broad to be explained by words.

Every flick, every stare, every move... It nails me permanent to the fact that yes, Super Junior owns me.

Cho Kyuhyun, I'll get back to you for killing me. Just wait.

***


Now, here comes one of the most special reasons why Sexy, Free & Single is awesome: Kim Yongwoon. 


After three longing years, here he is now - back and alive. Seeing him performing and keeping up with his brothers, I can no longer complain about anything else against SME. The fact that they brought him back is a reason enough to just keep my mouth shut for any flaw (if ever there is one).

His voice is as flawless as ever. Although it was obvious that he was struggling with the choreography, he managed to cover it up with his presence.


And no other reason could top that.

***

HAVE A GOOD TIME, IT'S PARTY TIME.
BECAUSE SUPER JUNIOR IS HERE.

LET'S ALL WELCOME THE KINGS BACK.

HONESTY HOUR.

I wanted to leave the fandom. I wanted to stay away from the immature and bratty fans that are now overtaking our world. I wanted to just lock up myself and be deprived of everything. I wanted to find myself. I wanted to be someone else that does not concern Super Junior and its fans. I wanted to be someone ordinary...

...I wanted.


PAST TENSE.

credit as tagged

True, I found another group to stan that's why I felt like I'm drifting away from the boys. But as I saw the picture above, I was brought back to my senses. I realized that whatever happens, these boys will always be my babies and this Sapphire Blue World will always be where I belong. To hell with the people who keep on ruining the name of this fandom.

On Feb. 16, we'll be flying to Singapore to watch Super Show 4 there on the 18th. No, I'm not boasting. But I just want to let everyone know that I'm on my way back home...

See you, Super Junior.

I missed you a lot.

Rain Gods' Destinies

As expected SUPER SHOW with Rain! - @siwon407

You know what?

I think it's not a secret anymore that in most of their concerts overseas, it rains. Hence, their tag as 'RAIN GODS'. I don't know why. Sometimes, I wanna kick them all to Africa or where there is intense drought. Often, I laugh it all off saying such things happen by chance... But come to think of it, I think everything's happening for a reason.

Maybe I'm just being superstitious and I guess it comes along with being a Filipino... But you see, rain symbolizes blessings. In my country, even if we end up being flooded all the time, people believe that rain means blessing. I think we're not the only race believing on that.

So yes, it just fortifies my belief that Super Junior's popularity is fated. It's not just by chance that they are on top, and I mean it. They are destined to be the number 1 group in the world, and the years of ups and downs which we've spent together with them are enough proofs for that claim.

It's not that I'm being biased and all. Honestly, I have another group I fell in love with and I'm kinda missing a lot on Super Junior-related issues nowadays; but I guess, this belief of mine is one thing that will never change. Even though a lot of groups debut and decide to overthrow Super Junior in my heart, I will forever believe that this fifteen men (YES, FIFTEEN.) are still and will always be the number one.

:>

I know this sucks.

But why does it always look so easy to let go,

when it's actually damn difficult to do so?

It's 3AM.

I saw this.

And suddenly, everything just snapped inside of me.

Tears broke loose.

Emotions let out.

Suddenly, I felt like I just have to cry.

And I did.

I knew I just I have to see these boys again.

Especially, you Kim Heenim.

SJ, Number 1.

Not many paid attention but there are some people who noticed that I actually closed this blog. It was an impulsive decision triggered by something that hurt my ego as a fan. I wouldn’t want to dwell on it anymore since it’s done and I’m finally being convinced of the possible excuses why it happened; so once again, here I am, enjoying the space I have especially intended for me and my angels.

It is not a secret that Super Junior had won the Disk Daesang in the recently concluded Golden Disk Awards in Osaka; and this is something that we’ve all been praying for. I’ve seen how each one of us exerted effort to buy the albums, vote on polls, and campaign for this group’s popularity. Well, obviously it paid off. We won.

Yes, I used the term ‘we’ because this is a combined effort of Super Junior and ELF. As we usually say, it is only on each other that we depend on, and I think we have once again proven the world that as long as we have each other, we can conquer everything.

There were no livestreaming and my internet was fucked up that night so I couldn’t properly spazz but I think it will be underrated to say that I trembled, I got anxious, I got nervous, and I got excited about the results. Although I was kinda confident that they will win, I couldn’t remove the possibility of result manipulations again. We all know the story, and before you accuse me of bashing other groups, I am telling you that I am merely stating the truth.

When I knew that they won, I suddenly remembered myself last year. I was crying, mumbling sorry to myself, hoping that the wind would deliver my sincere apologies to Super Junior members who I know were terribly disappointed. That night, I looked for someone to blame and I ended up blaming myself and the others for not trying hard enough. It was absurd, of course, but I took this fandom in a very serious manner – so serious that their disappointments have become my disappointments too. Even double.

Then I wrote an article entitled Sorry, SJ, Sorry. An excerpt from it circulated around the internet and this is what it said:

Jungsoo wanted to be congratulated by the end of the year.

This is Heechul’s birthday wish.

It could’ve been a good compensation when Yesung didn’t win a Digital Bonsang.

And yes guys, this could have been the best keepsake we can give Jungsu and Heechul before they enter the army.

But we couldn’t.

And you know what makes me cry harder?

It’s the fact that this would be the best news to give Kangin.

This could’ve been the best gift to welcome Kibum back.

And this could be the best reason to make Hangeng come back.

But now, as I reread it, I felt accomplished. I know that the Disk Daesang for 2010 was ours. It was returned to us, actually, in a form of a simple award-giving ceremony held on early 2011. But still, it felt different since our boys were announced as winners on the exact date that the awards were given.

And you know what I’m thinking?

Jungsu can now enter the army without any regrets.

This is something that could make Heenim prouder even when in service.

This is the best gift to welcome Kangin back home with.

This is the greatest reminder that Super Junior – along with Kibum and Hangeng – still exists.

And yes, this is the strongest proof that Super Junior, who are continuously being dragged down by different forces, is still standing strong.

Because at the end of the day, Super Junior will always be the group that conquered the world.

On his tweet, the leader said that if there is one thing that they do not know, it is ‘breaking up’; and ELF do not know it as well…

…Because we, together, define forever.

Super Junior: NUMBER ONE.

I guess the world doesn't need any explanations for this anymore.

Super Junior is really dominating the Philippines.

9 consecutive number ones for physical albums.

If only this would count in Hanteo. :D

Nonetheless, it's still a fact that Super Junior and Philippine ELF are at the number one spot in the country.

No pun intended. No boasting there.

Just plain truth.

And I am fucking proud.

Losing Hope on GDA?

I mean it. I no longer want to care about the GDA. Seriously. I know that there are a lot of stuff happening around and it makes me just want to focus on the fact that at the end of each day, it is not the number of trophies that would measure the greatness of my boys. It will always be the memories and inspiration they have successfully engraved in the hearts of fans like us.

But as I think about this issue, I realized that I think - even for the last time - I would really have to fight for what I believe is right. Since this was already posted in SJ Market, I think there's no doubting anymore. I guess it's understandable that something is just not right. Some people are up for mischief and they are decided to drag not just Super Junior, but the whole fandom, down.

I know it's too early to conclude; but considering what happened on 2010, I would never cease to assume. My heart and mind are both enraged. This is not what Super Junior deserved. Based on how I see it, we are being deprived of the things we know we should receive, and we are becoming the underdogs in the story.

Yes, I don't care about the trophies. But I care about how these boys - who are working almost 24 hours a day - would feel when the chance of being the best group for the last time will be taken away from them. I would never ever let anyone ruin the name and reputation of a group who reached the top mostly on their own.

I don't know what kind of actions Korean ELF will do about this. As an international fan, I could only provide support them; and make people understand that there really is something wrong. No, I'm not involving any other group. I just want everyone to see what might really be happening.

And I wish the issue isn't real. I really wish.

Looking Forward to Christmas!

I never looked forward to Christmas. Yes, I'm happy that it happens and I take part in all religious practices for it wholeheartedly; but I don't really get excited when Christmas is coming near. Ever since I graduated high school, the Holiday Seasons has just been ordinary to me. No more excuses.

This is the reason why I wasn't excited when the news about the SMTown Winter Album came out. I spazzed and felt good when Snow White was released (believing that it sounded like a Christmas song) but it ended there. So I never would have thought that I will be changed by the newest song of Super Junior, which is SANTA, YOU ARE THE ONE.

(LYRICS HERE)

It was supposed to be an ordinary Christmas carol, but I can never deny its effect on me. It's not just because it was sung by my favorite group and it was in pure English; but the song lyrics totally reflects what Christmas really should be: simple and happy. 

How did I say that?

The lyrics of the song made me go back to my childhood. When I considered the melody, I was stunned more by the realization that, yes, I missed being someone who gets giddy when Christmas comes near. I know I'm totally not making sense but I know that you know what I'm talking about. The song brought out what I've been trying to deny all my life - that I am still a kid who will hope for Santa to come on Christmas Eve with my gift.

Now let's go to the fact that Super Junior sang this song.

It's the title track for the Winter Album. Meaning, it represents everything else. This is one of the rare things that I really should thank their company for. It's not always that they give this opportunity to Super Junior. I don't know if this is how it really is; but somehow, I want to think that they gave this opportunity to our boys because they are finally recognizing the fact that at this very moment, SJ is their biggest stars.

As for the video, it was really great. Upon hearing the song, I told my friends that I wish that the music video would show light and fun scenes; and wish granted. Seeing them become so cute and lovely and everything nice, I can't help but really be thankful that I've been sharing the past Christmases with Super Junior and it just keeps getting better and better, EAR AFTER EAR year after year. hehehe

And the fact that HENRY and ZHOUMI were there made it just more terrific. I mean it. Seeing them in a video with the main group just feels so wonderful. They chose the right timing. Christmas is the season of acceptance and I just wish that people will realize that. The two did well and I'm so proud of them.

And Jungsu, babe, I'm just so proud of  you hitting those high notes and all.

Geez. I never thought I'd look forward to Christmas. Thanks, Super Junior, for making me normal again. ^^

I Said I Wouldn't Cry...

Today marks the end of the 5 years and 3 months of DJ-ing for Jungsu and Hyukjae. After tonight, Super Junior Sukira KTR will be taken over by Sungmin and Ryeowook.

First and foremost, I do not oppose the two new DJs. I know they will do well. They have shown their capabilities already in the past few weeks and I am immensely grateful towards the staff of Sukira because they retained the name Super Junior in the show. They didn't give it to other groups and for that, I felt like there are still people who believe in my boys.

But even if I'm happy that I'll be seeing Sungmin and Ryeowook's cuteness more often, I cannot deny the fact that it feels sad to know that Jungsu and Hyukjae have to put down their DJ mics for the mean time.

I said I wouldn't cry. I feel like I don't have any rights to feel so because I wasn't there when it started and I wasn't even regularly watching them during Bora... But with the fact that I love these two very much, I guess I have to take my words back...

So yes, few minutes before the last broadcast of DJ EunTeuk, I am tearing up.

The truth is I am affected. They have set another history with this. It's another accomplishment for the group. The two hold the title of being the longest running DJ idols in the history of KPOP. For five years and three months, they have been part of the family of KTR and I know that it's gonna be difficult for them to leave...

because they loved the show.


Honestly, the tears that are flowing out of my eyes were brought by the thoughts that I know it's gonna be painful for them to say goodbye. I do not plan to watch the Bora since I fear like I'm gonna end up like how I did when Heechul said his farewells to Youngstreet.

But then, Jungsu said again that it's not gonna be an END. It's gonna be an AND. And I know that someday, even if not in Sukira anymore, I'm gonna see them again in a radio station, doing this thing which I know they're best at, being themselves every night... I know someday, we'll be able to go back to what we're gonna leave tonight.


I wish I could just tell them that even if I wasn't an avid listener; even if I wasn't there when it started... Their roles as DJ of KTR for the past years have left its marks in the hearts of the people who valued their words, their stories, their opinions, their jokes, their funny antics, their sweet nothings, their being themselves.

Kudos, DJ EunTeuk.. Whatever lies ahead, you know we'll always be right behind you. Good luck.

Beyond Whatever for the Love of Super Junior

I've got to be honest. I wasn't expecting anything but I was terribly annoyed when Super Junior didn't even come out in the list of the nominees for Song of the Year and Artist of the Year. Fine, don't give the boys the award but scratching them off the list when everybody knows that they should be there is just damn beyond annoying, infuriating, and insulting.

But when they got the Album of the Year, I knew that I have to let this pass - no matter how difficult it is.

And yes, it was Jungsu's speech that made me calm down.

"Even when nobody acknowledges us; even when nobody wants to give us a hand... To the ones that made us the best, the world's very best fan club, ELF."

TRANS: MinnieBlues

When he said that, I was brought back to my senses. And I realized that at the end of each day, it's not these Mnet, GDA, MelOn, or any award-giving body that would determine the kind of artist Super Junior is. Ate Yan was right when she said that time will come that these trophies and recognition will become irrelevant; and the one that managed to change the lives of so many people will prevail.

"Hi Singapore, we've lived through our 20's with everyone, thank you. With many difficulties, with so many things happening, the members depended on each other; also the members who are not with us - the ones watching TV right now, and the ones far away from us, I love you guys. When no one acknowledge us, no one knew us, the best fanclub who made us the best; as fans, letting us feel the 'mightiness', ELF all over the world - I thank you again. 

We, Super Junior are ugly ducklings, until the day we became swans...

...This award could be the last we receive before enlistment, it's an unforgettable awards ceremony; we will continue being a hardworking Super Junior. Thank you everybody."

- Leeteuk

TRANS: Psycho蝉儿

Then when I read Jungsu's full speech, I remembered this post in KPOPSecrets on Tumblr where the fandoms were compared. While everybody was fighting for the top spot, there is Triple S who are contented with what SS501 gives them. Through that, I was reminded of my previous posts. I was one of those people who were trying so hard to unite everyone (although to no avail) and yet, I went off-track just because Super Junior didn't win two out of five awards. (SJ's nomination is still an issue to me!)

Actually, it is difficult to accept that attempts to humiliate Super Junior are rampant. I'm not exaggerating when I said 'humiliating' because that is what I see. Many try to bring them down in order to put others on top; and I am not saying this just because I am a devoted fan. I just want to be fair.

I know I can't be like my Triple S friends who can keep calm despite everything. For a fandom that is always placed under the scorching criticisms of the world and for an idol-fans relationship that is always tested by fate, what they're doing is quite difficult to do. It's terribly distracting when it's us against the world, most of the time.

But the great compensation lies on the fact that we are battling against all these heartaches and frustrations... together. I can never be sure but when Siwon said that they're gonna give the best to us, ELF, because we deserve only the bests; I knew right then and there that we can move mountains together.

Their tears are as precious as their smiles to me. That's why when they got emotional on stage, I melted on my seat and told myself that with the remaining time I have with them, I would stop thinking of things that would just pain us all. If 'magic' would occur once again and we will be deprived of things we deserve, I'll just whine a little and probably let karma take control. Because I want to convince myself and others - as well - that since we do not know anymore what is going to happen next, then we might as well have to figure out how to make the most out of everything we have left.

"If the tears we shed when we received newcomer award were tears of grief after rising from trainees, today's tears are tears of happiness that we will be able to do better in the future."

- Leeteuk

TRANS: Heequeenting

People, life becomes more unfair when people attempt to treat everyone equally. But it is the attitude of those who are weakened that matters most. We all may have felt that Super Junior deserved those awards. But for Blackjacks, 2ne1 deserved that too. That's the course of life which I think we all forgot for a moment. Thank God for our boys that I managed to revive myself again.

What is important is that Super Junior bagged three awards: Singapore Popularity Award, Best Male Group Award, and Best Album of the Year. As some people have said, the Album of the Year is the highest award (since it's the last given) because no album would be great if the single and the artist isn't. I guess, we all just have to struggle among ourselves to accept that fact.

At the end of the day, awards wouldn't matter. So long as the boys owned the night and as long as we continuously believe in them - DESPITE EVERYTHING ELSE, it's still ours.

Going Desperate.

CREDITS TO STARMT
VIA @showsu

Ate Yan pointed it out. In the microphone accent, in the globe, at the center - there's Philippines. My country, the nation which is currently pleading for another chance to see the boys in a Super Show.

I want to see this as a positive premonition. I want to believe that along with the thought that they said 'Salamat,' it is a sign that we will experience the show which dominates the whole world.

Yes, I am not losing hope. Even though I am preparing for the worst, I am still feeling even the tiniest bit of chance that there would be SS4 Manila.

And you know why I insists?

Because I want to feel belonged again. I want to feel complete again. I want to experience the rare and overflowing joy of being myself - even just for three to four hours. I want to convince myself that despite all the hardships I go through, I still deserve the best in life that is Super Junior.

I want to feel the ease of life - its rewards, its surprises. I want to understand how it is to be free from anxieties and to do things for myself, not for anyone else, again. I want to be carefree again.

But more than those, I want them to see that they are well-loved in the Philippines. I want to assure the boys that if the whole world turn their backs on them, they can find refuge in my country, with us.

So yeah, I need SS4 Manila. And please, let there be. :'(

We're Getting Closer to the Beginning

It's the start of world domination in a few hours. I was distracting myself with Naruto manga all day but a few tweets from my friends led me back to the excitement that finally, the most anticipated thing is happening soon.

This is just the start of it all. In a few hours, another history will be created and I am more than sure that we are going to get more than what we all expect from them.

There is no turning back, indeed. Super Junior has come a long way to prove their success and we, ELF, are heading to the most precious position - beside them.

People, curse me for taking these things seriously. But really, we all need to ready our knees to kneel before the world's greatest act...

No exaggeration there. See it out for yourself.

Super Show 4: It's About to Begin

Everybody have waited for this: the concert which would measure the greatness of Super Junior around the world. Yes, a world tour is about to commence tonight. Just as how long the line for the opening of Breaking Dawn would be in the US, there'll be four or five times of that in Super Show 4 in Seoul, probably.

Isn't it exciting that after how many months, here we are again, anticipating every week to witness the unimaginable prowess of these boys? Though it sucks to admit that they're down from 13 to 9 (plus 2 with Henry and Zhoumi), nothing can still erase the fact that they are still Super Junior.

credit @siwon407

I, myself, is excited about what will happen. The usual choreography, the usual hype, I want to see it again in probably the largest scale. But come to think of it, I couldn't be sure if that's how I really feel.

I don't want to be certain and I don't want to be right, but the beginning of Super Show 4 might also be the start of another inevitable truth that's happening - the long-term hiatus. It is not a secret that there are talks among fans that this could be the last Super Show before everyone sets for the army. 

And it's not funny.

Jungsu is rumored to enlist on February. I don't think Super Show will be over by that time. Meaning, he has to leave in the middle of the schedule, like Heenim. And I guess it's what I dread the most. Up until now, I couldn't picture out how it will be like without him in SJ.. But yeah, that's another story.

from @beatburgerkorea

But now that we still have time to be together, I hope we all realize how much this Super Show 4 means to the boys. I call forth the attention of the millions of ELF around the world, whose countries will be graced by the presence of these boys...

Let's give them what they deserve - the best.

Come united. Let's all be one. Memorize the fanchants, support the projects, and most importantly, cherish the moments. There may be or may no longer be a next time for all of us. We can never be sure. So let's make the most out of it...

And for the mean time, let the world domination begins.

PhELF, I Love You. HAHAHA

PHILIPPINE VERSION:

PHILIPPINE ELF'S VERSION:

credits not mine

(NASAAN KA = WHERE ARE YOU)

/DYINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I was just planning on editing something like this out but someone did it ahead of me, and I swear I still die laughing. HAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

No but seriously, wherever Sungmin is, just let him be. hahahaha

Let's at least grant him the privacy which he always wanted to have. XD

The Celebrity

“

A celebrity…

A job where it’s confirmed from the front, behind…and beside…

In front, they have fans who love them, and celebrities are smiling while watching those fans.

Behind them, there are several arrows flying at and piercing their backs.

Unintentionally, the flying arrows sometimes even pierce the fans that are in front.

On both sides, there are masses of people are watching over their front and back.

Even if their back becomes covered in blood from the arrows piercing from behind, they must smile for the sake of the fans that cheer them on and support them.

If they smile and work hard till the end, the public who’s watching them on both sides will slowly move to the front.

However if they can’t handle it, and if they’re upsetted a little, (the public) moves to the back and even shoots arrows.

Celebrities don’t know how many people are behind them, or what kind of people or what reason they have for shooting the arrows.

They’re not allowed to turn around and find out either.

Because if they turn around, the fans in the front will become completely shocked when they see the arrows that pierced their back, and the moment they turn, their entire body will be struck with arrows…

No one knows what kind of people are shooting the arrows, what kind of expression they have, or what thoughts run through their minds as they shoot the arrows.

It’s just that they simply enjoy the act itself, and they like it if new celebrities (especially ones with lots of past personal life) come out.

Celebrities…

They live on stage and die on the internet…a job where it’s confirmed from front, back and side…

……that is a celebrity.

”

Eunhyuk/Lee Hyuk Jae (Super Junior) (i didn't translate this. i just found this on tumblr again and posted it here. I think this was written a year ago on Hyuk's Cyworld? You know, when he has no Twitter yet?)

#ThankYouSJ

I can do a litany of reasons to thank you.

But I guess it will just some up to these:

Thank you, Super Junior, for giving me the life I've always wanted.

Thank you, Super Junior... for everything.

The SS3 3D Experience

After attending two screenings... no, it is still not enough for me to get over the hype of seeing Super Junior on the big screen, in 3D. Seeing them twice just wouldn't satisfy me from wanting to see them again. I don't care if it's just the same thing all over again; because the truth is: there will always be something to surprise me in there. 


You see, there are ten boys running around the stage. When I look at one member, I don't see the others. So I notice the crazy/lovely/sweet/heartwarming things that the member I have my eyes on does and I don't see what the others do. This is the reason why I think I'll never really get tired of seeing the same film over and over again. I am presented with new things to see. Unless I get to watch SS3 3D ten times, then perhaps, I could be satisfied.

I'm telling the truth. It's not just because I want to increase the sales so that I may be assured of a Super Show 4 in Manila. I mean this review. If only I have Php10,000 to shed, I would readily allot it for more screenings.

Maybe, people are saying that I have gone insane. While I was standing at the cinema lobby while waiting for my friend to bring me my ticket, I have actually heard some hurtful comments from random people toward the kind of reception this SS3 3D is receiving. Of course, I got affected. But you know what, everything they said  just lost sense to me when the show started.

Because SS3 3D reminded me that I know my purpose. I know why I'm here. And I know that I can do what I want to do because there is something that has to be done for the boys who do everything they can for all of us.

Sorry but I wouldn't really spill whatever that's in there; although it is an open secret that it is SS3 Seoul. You all should have to watch it for yourselves. I tell you, even though it's like one and a half hour only, it's definitely one exciting feat. Everything that you're gonna see there are definitely spazz-worthy, and you will be given more reasons to fully immerse yourselves on this very, very beautiful fandom.

SS3 3D is one of the best things that happened in my life. Seriously. If not for it, I wouldn't have known how it feels to see them from a perspective of a 'member'. I know it's an exaggeration and it's so metaphorical. But on SS3 3D, I felt like I was sitting right there at the stage and seeing them just walking around and passing me by. I felt like a part of the real party. It felt so close... to perfect.

I am not flaunting here. But i think more SS3 3D experiences is necessary for me to get over it. And I hope and I pray that you are all feeling the same..

Sungmin's zipper, pray for me.

Siwon's abs, guide me.

Heechul's stares, show me the light.

Jungsu's fangirl, I worship you.