Homecoming

Photo from SM Entertainment

The year 2013 was the last time Super Junior set foot in the Philippines to hold a solo concert. It was a long-wait, and admittedly, most have outgrown the group. Many left the fandom for their education, career, relationships and families; and it’s an inevitable choice that people sometimes have to make: priorities.

Five years later, who would have known that these people who thought they’ve already graduated from this kind of phase in their lives, will suddenly realize that in just a little more than a month, it’s time to come home again.

I have to admit. There were no expectations or whatsoever about this concert. I honestly promised myself that I would just come there and enjoy, and then leave afterwards, since I need to focus on my work, business, and some other projects I am currently working on. You see, I thought Super Junior has already turned into a mere entertainment, distraction from my real life. Like all others, I thought I am way past my eighteen-year-old self already. I thought of just selling my ticket, to be honest. At 29, I thought my priorities had changed; and this is just nothing more like a trip down the memory lane.

But for the nth time, Super Junior had proven me wrong.

On the eve of the concert, I couldn’t sleep. Friends from Indonesia and Davao were flying in to Manila and I dwelled on the idea that I just wanted to keep track on them. But later on, I unexpectedly realized that the excitement means more. You know that feeling during the eve of your elementary field trip, a family outing, or your birthday party? That was basically how I felt that night. In the midst of believing that excitement is now how we feel when we’re off to travel, or we’re going on dates, or it’s already a few minutes before you clock out from work, that night brought me to a child’s definition of excitement. It was unexpectedly precious.

The sun rose and I went to Manila early because I had to do some sort of tour guide duties for my Indonesian friend. As we go around Intramuros, I felt so nostalgic not because I used to study there, but because never in my whole life did I see myself walking around the city with foreigners I met through Twitter on 2009. I mean, talking about Asian history and Philippine and Indonesian laws is what adults do, right? But we did that while waiting for the time when we would have to go to the venue for the concert. 

When we arrived at the concert hall, the first thing I did was meet up with my old friends from Davao and Laguna. And then I went to where TeukAngels were and then, the more I was brought to deeper realizations.

Talking to Aya, Jen, and Shane while distributing flyers for Teuk’s birthday was like the biggest reality check for me. The reminiscing was real. All the stories from the past, all the people we met, and all the new fans who introduced themselves to us that day, convinced me that God didn’t just bring me there to watch a concert. I was brought there to remind myself to live and love again.

Remembering everything I told Shane and Aya that afternoon, I can’t help but feel proud of myself. I can’t help but realize how matured we became, talking about things like depression, anxiety, and relationships. These seemed too simple; but back in the days, we wouldn’t even know what to say when things like this come up. We used to care only for ourselves and how we can create a mark on Jungsu and Super Junior. Suddenly, we understood people more. Now, it’s all about caring for each other; and rather than competing for the boys to believe that we are the best fans ever, we were now more focused on convincing them that even after a long time of absence, they still have a strong fan base in the Philippines.

The concert started a bit late, making me feel anxious and a little disheartened. But when I finally got to enter the venue with Regene, the very friend who was with me on Super Show 2 in 2010, my emotions were all over the place. I saw myself just staring in awe at the people around me, hearing their deafening cheers and watching them wave their blue light sticks. It was a scene I never thought I have missed so much.

And then that’s when I realized that finally, I am home.

After the concert, it was a pandemonium inside me. Two and half hours passed by so quickly that I felt like it didn’t happen. But I know it did because my heart felt so full.

I went out of the venue in a trance. If not for Aya screaming my name, I wouldn’t have known where to go. I just knew I had to bring Sai and Asha back to their hotel but I didn’t really know how. My mind was blank, as if it wouldn’t process anything that involves the fact that I have to leave the venue.

Now that I think about it, the difficulty to book a taxi is perhaps a blessing; because while waiting for the Grab app to work, I had my most favourite post-concert moment with Aya.

While watching people in a rush and while staring at the moonlit sky above, Aya and I were just sitting on the stair steps in front of the venue entrance when I suddenly heard myself telling her that I don’t want to leave the place yet. I said I wanted to savour the moment that I’m there while the boys are still inside and my friends are everywhere. Because during the whole time I was there, I felt infinitely safe, like nothing hurts. I felt like finally, after so many years, I’ve come home to where I really belong.

And for the first time in five years, I can confidently say that I am okay.

When I was younger, I ran this blog with articles saying how much impact Super Junior has made in my life. I kept on talking about how they are like miracles and blessings, and all good things to me; and I thought I have experienced everything they can give. But Super Show 7 in Manila convinced me that like how they are in everything else, they will consistently exceed my expectations.

Because this time, they do not just provide me with an escape. They have indeed molded my world into something I can totally be proud of; and I have just noticed that during the concert. 

Starting from when I reunited with my friends, it was already a proof of how these boys contributed immensely to my life. Because of Super Junior, we broke the stigma towards the internet, saying that no authentic relationship will ever bud out from it. But look what we have now? A family.

And as I watch the concert with them, I can't help but be more emotional. Because if you're there, you will also feel that it wasn't just a show. It was a sincere homecoming for everyone.

Right now, my heart is still full. Looking back at the years spent with and without Super Junior, I sincerely wish that every new fan today will get to experience the miracle brought by these boys. I hope that whatever blessing we have received by loving them unconditionally be given to you too. Because even though a lot of people would say that we’re weird for loving guys who wouldn’t even know who we are, trust us when we say that it doesn’t really matter because our love for each other will always be stronger, and enough to hold us tight together.

And then when another set of years pass by, it will be your turn to realize how Super Junior and this fandom will always be ready to welcome you home. 

Give Love on HenMi Day!

I've always wanted to go to a charity this year. Actually, I wanted to visit Jolito (Jungsu's son on World Vision) but since he lives in Misamis Oriental (or Occidental?), I couldn't see him. I've planned to visit Bethany too, but some things just came up and I wasn't able to plan it well.

That is why I was totally elated when I learned that some of my friends actually planned something charitable this Christmas! It's the GIVE LOVE ON HENMI DAY!!!!

This charity event is organized by HoneysPH and StringswithHenry. Both are included in the WeLoveSJFamily so I'm really so proud at the moment. I'm actually excited.

GIVE LOVE ON HENMI DAY

December 8, 2012

Bahay Kalinga, Valenzuela City

For information, please visit the event's 

OFFICIAL FACEBOOK PAGE

SEE YOU ALL THERE!!!!!

SUJUFEST: SFS and Skip Beat Album Launch in the Philippines!

Help me find my way to the event!

I need to get back to the fandom as soon as I can!!!!!!!!

Anti-Cybercrime Law and Its Effects on Pinoy KPOP Fans

October 2, 2012, the Philippine internet community had gone black in protest to the highly-abhorred Republic Act 10175 or what is commonly known as the Cybercrime Prevention Law. Most profile pictures and display pictures on Facebook, Twitter, and other social networking sites displayed a blank black image that symbolizes the oppression of the Philippine government to freedom of speech and expression.  Comments like this (████████████████████████. [ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛ ʙʟᴏᴄᴋᴇᴅ.] (ʀᴀ ɴᴏ. 10175) ) became a normal sight that people who didn't know began to wonder if it was a mere glitch - only to find out that this is most likely what would happen should the law be implemented. 

Indeed, the protest had gone viral. Yet the government didn't listen. The Supreme Court did not release a Temporary Restraining Order for the reason that five justices were absent today. Despite the rampant opposition of millions of Filipino netizens, this Anti-Cybercrime Law will take effect tomorrow, October 3, 2012.

Understanding RA 10175

First and foremost, I would like to say that I support some clauses of the Anti-Cybercrime Law. I support the fact that it would put a stop to child pornography and identity theft. But I think there are more to it that I stand against than back up. 

For more details, read the provisions here. 

The Downside

I consider it unconstitutional as certain provisions directly violates Article III Section 4 that states "No law shall be passed abridging the freedom of speech, of expression, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble and petition the government for redress of grievances." Beginning tomorrow, we are no longer allowed to express our opinions towards things which we believe are not right. Beginning tomorrow, we are gagged and our freedom to speak our minds will be taken away from us. This is a clear violation of human rights. Even the United Nations believes so.

This Anti-Cybercrime Law is also impractical. As Paul Artadi had pointed out, how can the government assure internet security when they can't even secure their websites? It makes sense, right? Plus violation of law will land people in prison for 12 years or a fine of one million pesos. That is completely ridiculous as opposed to the 4 years of prison and lesser fines which are the maximum penalty for those who committed libel on print.

And as how EVERYBODY had been saying since day one, there are far more important issues to prioritize than internet regulations. We are in dire need of solutions to unemployment, poverty and hunger, and lack of education. We are still on fighting battles concerning Reproductive Health and are waiting for confirmation about the Freedom to Information, and such. But hey, look! The government had prioritized this. Why? Because they wanted to get away from the possible black propagandas and criticism that they could receive during the campaign period? Who knows.

I am yet to talk about the beneficiality or non-beneficiality of this law as this covers both sides. It is obviously beneficial to those government officials who hide behind their power to bring people to jail because they are coward enough to face the fact that they are public entities who are subjected to everyday criticism. But it is downright non-beneficial to people who believe that Freedom of Expression, of Speech, and of the Press are what basically constitutes a real democratic country. 

One problem I see about this Anti-Cybercrime Law is that many are not informed. I personally felt like it was rushed. Ironically, I would compare it to the issue of 'midnight appointments' done by the past president which the present government vowed to defy. Many were taken by surprise when it was publicized, thus leaving most of the people lost in the dark, wondering how this atrocious implementation will change our lives as free Filipinos. 

To further understand why YOU should stand against this Cyber MARTIAL LAW, read THIS.

Anti-Cybercrime Law and KPOP Fangirls

Honestly, I am not one to explain the details but one of my biggest concerns when I learned about this law was the Pinoy KPOP community where we all belong. I began to think that since most of our population are young people, most are not fully aware about this law's negative effects on us. And my thoughts were proven right when I saw a lot of fangirls on my Facebook timeline and T-List asking why everybody has gone black. I realized they deserve to know what awaits them, so I gave it a thought.

The issue of downloading is a given. We will be called cyber criminals if we download videos, MP3's and pictures. I personally think that that's justifiable since we are all aware that illegal downloading is bad.  (Editing images would also be criminal.) However, my concern is this: this law is borderless and vague. It could eventually lead to the blocking of Youtube, Viiki, SpeedyJoe, Dailymotion, and other video-uploading sites which are our ultimate lifeblood. Imagine the horror?

Second thing, KPOP fans are no longer allowed to criticize other fans who do wrong things to others. (I believe this will be the reason if ever I'll be sent to jail.) If we see something wrong, we are no longer allowed to speak about it. Because if we do, we can be accused of cyber libel - no matter how right we may be with our opinions. 

Now, if we support a cause against something wrong or even if we just 'LIKE' or 'RETWEET' a comment that one finds libelous, we will also be charged with libel. Thus, you just don't lose your freedom to speak and express your opinions. You will also be controlled and mandated as to what you should agree to. So if you agree that someone should be put to jail because she fooled you for saying that Super Junior will be having concerts here and you end up paying her for the non-existent tickets, you will be charged with libel too if that person would decide to sue you. How is that possible? Because as how I see it, cybercrime is now a bigger mistake than estafa in the Philippines.

You basically don't have to name the person. Even if you don't, as long as that person felt like it's directed to him/her, you can be sued for libel. 

Here is the worst: if you own a fanblog and someone commented ill against another person (including government officials), you are also responsible should the criticized entity file a libel case. That's how atrocious this law is. 

The trolling stops, too. Trolling is different from bullying, but not all people would know and understand that. Trolling is fun; but if one gets offended, it is no longer just a civil case. The offender will be subjected to cyber bullying and can therefore spend years on prison. Then what do we do to those who are unnecessarily sensitive? Do we let them just take us all down?

Benefit of the Doubt

Frankly speaking, I lost hope in my country because of this. I was born after EDSA Revolution, a revolution that was held to fight for freedom of expression; and never have I thought that after 26 years, it would be suppressed again. And the most ironic thing is that the people who had implemented this E-Martial Law are the bloods and fleshes of the people who have fought bravely for our freedom during the Martial Law era.

I hate to think that the Philippines is going down now because of some people who initially do not know what a blog is. I hate to think that the Philippines is being run by individuals who wouldn't care about the legacies of their forefathers just so they could protect their personal intentions. I hate to think that my country is now being subjected to ridicule because we are called the REPUBLIC of the Philippines, yet our democracy says goodbye starting tomorrow. I hate to think that unless this law is abolished, repealed or amended, there will be no more hope for this fateful land. 

That is why I'm still trying to believe in miracles. To this point (less than two hours before the ill-fate befalls), I am still praying that Blessed Pedro Calungsod would show one last miracle for his country before he is canonized as saint. I am giving the benefit of the doubt for the president (and not for the senator). I know we all need that.

Because no matter how much I hate this country right now, it does not erase the fact that I am still a Filipino who needs to fight for the freedom which my father had fought for during EDSA 1 and what my mom and I had fought for during EDSA 2. 

And as a fangirl, I refuse to be deprived of my rights to enjoy my interests, which I could only access through the power of the internet.

I vow to not be silenced. I will exercise my freedom of expression whenever I deem necessary. I will not be afraid. Because I am a Filipino and the Philippines is for the Filipino. 

\

God bless the Philippines.

"We have emphasized that the Philippines is for the Philippines, and that each and every Filipino should be calm in the knowledge that the government is ready to defend them."

- President Benigno Aquino III Official Facebook Page

Usapang Tagalog Ulit!

Ang opinyon ko sa isyu ng SiHae ay pareho lang din sa opinyon ko ngayon sa pagdating sa SS3 3D. Hindi ko alam kung sino-sino ang may pakialam at sino-sino ang magsasabing wag na lang akong makialam. Pero gusto kong magsalita.

Nakita ko ang sitwasyon at naniwala ako na magkakaroon nga tayo ng pagkakataon na makita sina Siwon at Donghae. Maniwala kayo't sa hindi, isa ako sa mga excited dahil hindi ko itatangging gusto ko pa rin silang makita... sa Pilipinas. Walang SS4 Manila, at ito yung natitira nating pag-asa.

Makapangyarihan ang mga salita at nag-uumapaw ang kahulugan. Pero ang naiwang tanong: HINDI BA TALAGA KAYANG MAGHINTAY?

Marami ng pagkakataon na nasayang ang pagod at maraming nabigo dahil kagagawan ng iilan. Hindi ako naninisi dahil hindi rin naman ako malinis. Pero naaawa lang kasi ako talaga sa mga kaibigan kong halos parang MMDA na ang trabaho dahil lagi na lang naglilinis ng kalat ng iba. Minsan, pwede na ring DPWH dahil sunod-sunod na beses na silang nagtatakip ng butas na ginawa ng mga taong..........

Nagulat ako sa sagot sa tweet na yon dahil tama rin naman ang opinyon nung sinagot. Pero pwede bang isantabi nalang ang opinyon at wag na paulanan ng tanong at sangkaterbang reklamo yung mga taong wala naman talagang pananagutan sa atin? Hindi naman kasi nila tayo responsibilidad. Kaya wag tayong maging pabigat.

Ayokong magbanggit ng pangalan dahil gusto ko pa ring sanayin nating lahat ang pag-iisip. Safety measures na rin kung sakaling may ibang hindi naman alam ang isyu.

Pero sa mga nakakaalam at alam nilang isa sila sa mga pinaparatingan ko nitong mensaheng ito, tama na muna. Praktisin natin yung pasensya at paghihintay. Hindi naman masama yon. At katulad na rin ng sinabi ko dati, wag na nating bigyan ng dahilan yung mga may kakayanan na dalhin dito ang Super Junior para umatras sa plano nila. Dahil kahit gano pa tayo kagandang market, walang silbi yon kung madali naman tayong makapikon.

Finally...

For many fans, there are two things that we know. One, it is normal for us to love people who are not even aware of our existence that's why; Two, we content ourselves with the fact that our idols appreciate our country in general.

Yes, the greatest and most realistic thing a fan could ever receive from her idols is recognition. The fact that her country is mentioned by someone she loves so much is more than enough compensation to all the efforts, time and money given out for him. Though it's technically asking something in return, I believe that there is no fan in this world - especially of Super Junior, who is popular WORLDWIDE - who wouldn't feel thrilled if even just her country will be mentioned by the boys. Although I cannot deny that there are some who couldn't be contented that they end up stepping into a delusional phase, which is of course, another story I wouldn't want to discuss.. YET.

So yeah, appreciation... or let's call it recognition.


Let me tell you a story: When Super Show 2 Manila was announced, a group called SuJu MAD was formed. It consisted of fans who volunteered to handle projects for the members. There weren't salaries for the work and most of the expenses most likely came out from their own pockets; and for donations, they had to think of their own ways to accumulate the needed amount for the project from fellow fans who are willing to shed out cash for these boys. Personal efforts for the benefit of the Philippine ELF's reputation.

But although it was for a good cause, I can't say that SuJu MAD - along with SJUPH - succeeded that time. Maybe it's because of the hype that it was the first time that SJ came to the Philippines, so yeah, such excuse was counted.

Then...

A chance to prove our worth once more as a strong fandom came through SS3 Manila, and I tell you.. the preparation... and the success... were truly imposing.

Cutting the story short, through the combined efforts of the fans - and some detractors who strengthened our bond, the Philippine ELF managed to prove the whole world that we are indeed an SJ-country.

Yes, each one of us who were there in SS3 Manila (in body and in thoughts) were part of the concert's success. Until now, I find it amusing how we came as one for the sake of our reputation as a nation that loves Super Junior. It was just so awesome that that night felt so surreal...

And as the night ended, we all knew that we marked our position in the hearts of Super Junior...

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But recently, I started thinking that maybe what we did aren't enough. It hurt like hell, especially that I was one of all of you who exerted her 110% for the projects to be successful. I had to force myself to walk in two weeks (as I got into a major accident almost a month before Super Show 3 MLA) just so I could attend to my responsibilities in this fandom.

Summary: I felt like we were forgotten... by Jungsoo.

But then, things changed, thanks to Super Show 4 Bangkok.

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Some Philippine ELF went to Bangkok and literally brought flags and banners to raise to Jungsu. It was not a project. Rather, it was an impulsive action by people who probably share the same sentiment as mine. While we were all losing hope, something unexpected happened.

On the third day of Super Show 4 Bangkok, Park Jungsu finally spoke of what I've always longed to hear. He recognized the Philippines and much more, he said 'Mabuhay, Philippines.'

Wow moment. When Cla tweeted that, I cried... and for a moment, everything became irrelevant.

Jungsu... Mentioned.. the Philippines.

Finally.

Who would have thought that two words would make me scamper back to where I used to be? I've declared myself to be Henry-biased already, and although that doesn't change, I feel like I'm drifting back to the leader, just when I thought I wouldn't anymore. It's like everything's wiped off with those words. Funny.

I don't know how exactly did he finally remember us, but I want to believe on two things: He realized that there is indeed a country called the Philippines, and that he managed to see the dedication of the Philippine ELF to show him that we love him so much. Whichever, I have Park Jungsu to thank.

This is funny. I feel like writing an apology letter. While I feel confident about what I'm saying, I feel shameful. I've done wrong and I've grown immature... But it's just that I don't want to be dishonest anymore.

So yeah, I've posted this.

And hey, Jungsu, once again.. Thank you. :)

And My Whole World STOPPED.

WHAT A COINCIDENCE THIS IS, LEE DONGHAE.

For everyone's knowledge, Philippine ELF (spearheaded by Super Junior United Philippines) have long been pleading and petitioning that BENCH, a major brand of apparel in the country, get Super Junior as their endorsers.

And just yesterday, Bench CEO Ben Chan had announced that they flew to Seoul for a photoshoot. That same day, Siwon flew back from Japan to Seoul and headed to the company building. 

At this very moment, they're conducting it. And Ben Chan said there are two surprises.

And to hell with coincidences, LEE DONGHAE UPLOADED THIS PHOTO.

WHAT AM I SAYING!?!?!

FUCK YEAH!!!!

LEE DONGHAE IS NOW AN OFFICIAL ENDORSER OF BENCH!!!!

Now Choi Siwon... WHERE ON EARTH ARE YOU?

WELL HELLO EVERYBODY.

NOW PHILIPPINE ELF, 

THROW ALL YOUR CLOTHES AND GET READY FOR A FASHION MAKEOVER COZ WE'RE SURE TO RUN TO THE NEAREST BENCH OUTLET TO SHOP.

LET'S PROVE THE COMPANY THAT THEY DID THE RIGHT DECISION IN GETTING THESE TWO HOT CREATIONS AS THEIR ENDORSERS.

AND LET'S PROVE THE WORLD THAT THE PHILIPPINES DESERVE SUPER JUNIOR IN OUR COUNTRY. :)

All Efforts Paid Off

I knew this was going to happen. After the news was published in Naver and in AKP, I knew the fact that Super Junior had topped the album charts in the Philippines for 9 consecutive album releases will be known to the members...

I JUST DIDN'T EXPECT THAT IT WOULD BE JUNGSU WHO WOULD TWEET ABOUT IT.

Now, imagine the joy.

I know that a lot of my friends are judging me right now. After several weeks of spazzing over other groups and disregarding Super Junior (but lol guys, it was never easy doing that when it's intentional), here I am feeling so friggin' proud that my ultimate bias and the leader of (still) the best group [for me] has actually tweeted about the news. 

There are two reasons why I am crying for joy right now.

First: 

I bet there is no way Jungsu will forget the Philippines anymore. I'm not bullying the leader or anything (nor am I mad at him) but you know, there are certain times when he tends to forget the Philippines. It's really not an issue to me although sometimes, I get kinda hurt because I feel like our efforts are not recognized. But now, with this, I don't think we would be left behind when it comes to his speeches and thoughts now.

Second:

The Philippine ELF did it.

Let me not dwell on the issue about who supported the local releases and who ridiculed the idea because it will not count in Hanteo. I have the comments reserved for my very personal opinions. But let me talk about the fact that this is a rare thing for us, Filipino fans.

As we all know, the Philippines is a third-world country. Even if we got to enjoy two Super Shows already, everybody knows that most fans from here are struggling. But look at what we have done. I am not really boasting (though I sound like one) but one thing that I really like about the Philippine ELF is that we know what dedication is all about. YES, WE KNOW FULLY WHAT DEDICATION IS.

 The 9 consecutive albums garnered Super Junior with a history that is definitely difficult to topple. I bet one local artist is currently mocking the group, the fans, and the turnout at the moment; but that loser will just be a loser, so no worries about what he’s probably saying about this. Hehe. :>

---

This is something to be really, really proud of. But I hope that some Philippine ELF would not find this as an excuse to brag and boast on other groups’ fans. This is a recognition which we have all taken part in. Extra thanks should be given to fanclubs and fanbases who have exerted effort in promoting the local releases, though. So whether we bought it or we just helped in promoting (because we don't have money to buy), I raise my hat to all of you. 

Let this be a part of a glorious memory. Let this be a part of a very special history. I hope that with this, we managed to really make Super Junior feel loved and truly loved in the Philippines. I know that the boys value their fans' efforts so much so I pray that we also value the special meaning that this title holds. 

Congratulations, Super Junior!

Congratulations, Philippine ELF!

And to our dear leader,
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

You do not have any idea how much it means to me whenever you mention the Philippines on your tweets. I haven't even thanked you yet for getting inspiration from the Cebu inmates for your impressive MAMA performance.

So here's a double thanks to you. 

And yeah, no matter how much I fangirl over other guys, it never change...

I love you.

Super Junior: NUMBER ONE.

I guess the world doesn't need any explanations for this anymore.

Super Junior is really dominating the Philippines.

9 consecutive number ones for physical albums.

If only this would count in Hanteo. :D

Nonetheless, it's still a fact that Super Junior and Philippine ELF are at the number one spot in the country.

No pun intended. No boasting there.

Just plain truth.

And I am fucking proud.

Going Desperate.

CREDITS TO STARMT
VIA @showsu

Ate Yan pointed it out. In the microphone accent, in the globe, at the center - there's Philippines. My country, the nation which is currently pleading for another chance to see the boys in a Super Show.

I want to see this as a positive premonition. I want to believe that along with the thought that they said 'Salamat,' it is a sign that we will experience the show which dominates the whole world.

Yes, I am not losing hope. Even though I am preparing for the worst, I am still feeling even the tiniest bit of chance that there would be SS4 Manila.

And you know why I insists?

Because I want to feel belonged again. I want to feel complete again. I want to experience the rare and overflowing joy of being myself - even just for three to four hours. I want to convince myself that despite all the hardships I go through, I still deserve the best in life that is Super Junior.

I want to feel the ease of life - its rewards, its surprises. I want to understand how it is to be free from anxieties and to do things for myself, not for anyone else, again. I want to be carefree again.

But more than those, I want them to see that they are well-loved in the Philippines. I want to assure the boys that if the whole world turn their backs on them, they can find refuge in my country, with us.

So yeah, I need SS4 Manila. And please, let there be. :'(

A Late Post

LOL. It was on October 15 when we got these pictures taken and I'm sharing it to you. :)

These were the pictures we had when we watched Super Show 3 3D in Gateway on the 15th of October. I came a little late again, but just in time for the show. ^^ I came when everybody was about to sing Happy Birthday to Donghae (who was celebrating his birthday then) and Henry who celebrated on the 11th. ^^

 

the cute cakes for Donghae and Henry from SJUPH; the picture-filled and mouthwatering one from StarfishPH

Post-SJ Anniversary Message: For My ELF Friends

In KPOP, there is this what we call the 5-year mark. We, as fans, consider it as the most crucial stage for our favorite group; because most of the time, groups disband after five years of being together.

I used to fear that especially that my boys are leaving or going on hiatus one by one. But as the clock stroke 12MN on the eve of November 6th, I knew we made it.

Because Super Junior has just celebrated their 6th anniversary.

On this celebration, I would not dwell on the fact that we're 4 members less. Because even if there's only one left, Super Junior will continuously stay alive.

Right now, I am still contemplating on the ups and downs of the past 6 years. A lot has happened which could have easily driven us all crazy - if not for the incessant strength and inspiration these boys are giving us. It was a roller coaster ride we are in. It is also a slipper and dangerous mountain which we're climbing, and yes... we're almost at the top.

Almost... because I don't want to say that we're at the top. There are still a lot more we should share together. I don't want to reach the peak yet just like as how I don't want to reach the horizon yet. Because if that happens, it's the end.

I just want to firmly believe that we're leading, that we're staying strong, and that we're continuing to push to the top. We should stay together for more years... until forever ends. After all, even if I wasn't there when it started, I can promise that I'll be here until the end.

On their anniversary, I just want to let the world know that in this fandom, I never felt like I do not belong. Super Junior - without fail - managed to make me realize that I am part of the family; and even if I couldn't be with them, personally, they - and of course, God - gave me people to share everything with...

People they call ELF... People I call friends.

You see, the point of this article is not just to thank Super Junior for the wonderful six years. I think I did that already in my previous write-up. This blog entry is now dedicated to the ordinary people who have kept up with me through thick and thin. And even to those people who I have met along the way, this entry goes to all of you too.

I've met a lot of people through this fandom. I became someone better through this, too. That's why in this 6th year anniversary celebration, I would just like to let them know that with Super Junior and with each other, I wish we could all come together and cover the world with Sapphire Blue.

I wouldn't mention their names here. They all know who they are, anyway. :) Just this... Thank you.

Lesson Learned.

Alam ko na apektado tayong lahat sa mga tweets at Facebook statuses nina Ms. Happee at Sir Vernon. Nakakapikon naman kasi talaga yung nangyari. Hindi lang sa part ng PULP kundi para na din dun sa mga nanuod talaga. Totoo na ang unang tingin ko is naging NINGAS KUGON na naman yung marami. Like ng like pero hanggang plano lang pala. Ang unang dating sakin, hanggang salita lang yung mga nagsabing gusto nila ng SS3 3D dito sa Pinas.

Totoo, matinding pressure yung nanggagaling sa organizers. Iba yung dating ng tweets. Iba yung epekto. Kung debate to at nirebutt sila, Ad Misericordiam at Ad Baculum na ang nako-commit nila.

Pero BUSINESS IS BUSINESS. And hindi ako sumisipsip, pero sabi nga ni Apple, may karapatang magalit si Vernon Go dahil siya yung nagbayad ng lahat.

Although I can’t be sure… Mula SS2 hanggang SS3, pati itong SS3 3D… Hindi naman tayo sigurado kung walang nawalang pera sa PULP. I mean, oo, jampacked ang Araneta pero hindi natin kasi nakita na ang dami pa ring black holes. Kaya hindi natin alam kung talaga bang kumita ang PULP sa concerts na yon, o sadyang pinagbigyan lang tayo dahil gusto nating makapunta ang SJ dito.

Isa pa, alam na natin even before the album launch na magkakaroon ng provincial screenings. Alam nating kailangan nating mag-ipon, dahil hindi pa man naaannounce ang provinces, alam na natin na meron non.

Pero nung na-release ang dates at venues, nag-flop. Sinong di maiinis? Kung naglabas ka ng milyon para sa events na yun, dahil naniwala kang may market? Kung umasa ka na malaki ang chances na magka-SS4 dito dahil naniwala ka ring may market?

Oo, andun nako sa magkaiba yung dalawang events. Kung pwede lang talagang ipagpilitan sa PULP na kung ipupush-thru ang SS4 Manila at last stop, matutuwa ang Department of Tourism satin dahil sa dami ng international fans sigurado.. gagawin ko eh. Kaso pano nila gagawin ang isang bagay, kung wala silang capital para don?

Kung ganon man ang tweets nila, hindi ba parang marketing strategy lang naman yun? Nakakapikon, oo. Pero kasi, pwedeng challenge yun e.

Kaya hindi ko masisisi ang PULP kung ganon ang nirerelease nilang statements. At kahit nasaktan ako sa mga sinabi ni Vernon Go, hindi ko kayang magalit…

Dahil ginawa ko din yon.

Yes, I am guilty as charged. I played the blame game. Andami kong sinabi para i-pressure ang mga taong hindi nanood sa Manila at mga taong manonood palang sa Davao, Ilo-Ilo, at Pampanga.

Pero nung nag-reply sa kin si Lee at tinapat akong nakakairita na, naisip ko kung gano katinding pressure yung idinagdag ko sa kanila. Siguro dahil parang kapatid ko na yung mga taga-Davao kaya ako naapektuhan ng husto sa ginawa ko. Ang selfish ko pala. Dun ko naisip na walang pwedeng sisihin kundi yung pagkakataon.

Hindi madali magproduce ng 1,000. Lalo pa't kakatapos lang ng 5jib album launch dito sa Pinas at may GDA tayong inilalaban. Tapos sembreak pa. Naiintindihan ko na hindi lahat ng fans sa Pinas, may trabaho.

Parehong side, may mali. Ako (or kami kung may nakakarelate man sakin), dahil dumagdag ako sa pressure at itinaas ko ang sarili ko; at yung mga hindi pa nanunuod dahil hindi nila inisip yung responsibility na pwedeng dalhin nung pag-Like. 

Kung may napressure man, sorry. It's just that we're losing it already. Ewan ko sa ibang nagsasabing hindi na dapat pumunta ang SJ dito dahil dalawang beses na silang pumunta (SORRY, SA MGA TAONG TO KASI, WALA TALAGA HO AKONG PASENSYA), pero alam naman ng marami kung bakit kailangan natin ang SS4 Manila. Hindi lang para satin, kundi para sa ibang international ELF din na Pilipinas lang yung chance para mapanuod ang SJ....

Tapusin na natin yung blame game. Nakakita ako ng nagsosorry kanina on Twitter. Kaya eto, nagsosorry din ako. Dalawa lang kaming nag-take ng first step to reconciliation. Sana we speak for the majority. Tama na yung sisihan. Tama na yung gulo.

Ang pressure galing sa PULP, andyan lang yan. Mabigat, SUPER BIGAT.

But the best way to handle it eh yung pare-pareho nating dalhin. Walang iwanan sa ere. Let’s come united.

Nonetheless, hindi ko sasabihin na okay lang na hindi bumili ng tickets for SS3 3D. Kung kaya naman kasi, gawan natin ng paraan. For example, kung may tig-200 kayo to spare, pagsama-samahin tapos mamili ng isang pwedeng manuod. O kaya, bumili pero ibenta ng mas mababa. (I know these suggestions are crazy, pero it’s the best thing we could do.)

Tapos eto: Kung nag-iipon kayo for SS4 Manila, eh parang awa niyo na... Bawasan niyo yung ipon niyo dahil hindi mangyayari yung pinag-iipunan niyo kung hindi tayo magsasucceed sa SS3 3D.

Ngayon, kung hindi talaga kakayanin na makapanuod kayo, please ask other people to watch. Kung may kaibigan kayo na pera na hindi manunuod dahil hindi kayo kasama, please, itulak niyo sa sinehan. hahaha!

May ilang araw pa tayo to push things through. It's a do-or-die situation. Kayanin natin… then whatever happens, at least, we can say that we did our best at hindi tayo nag-away away diba?

So ayun. J Sana naliwanagan lahat. J

Is the Fire Really Dying?

NOT FOR ME.

Not for my friends.

It turned out depressing. It's not supposed to be like this.

But due to inconsistencies, this happened.

Now a lot of people are asking:

IS THE FIRE REALLY DYING?

NEVER FOR ME.

Never for my friends.

It's a do-or-die situation now.

I am afraid.

For SS4 Manila: ALL IN.

This is great risk, if you will all just understand.

Shedding probably hundreds of thousands for something which worth we all know.

I know, PULP meant business. But if they do not, what will that make of us, Philippine ELF? We depend on PULP for SS4. We depend on their ability. We depend on their decision...

so that we may have Super Show 4 Manila.

You know, it's not like we're asking everyone of you to truly spend your fortunes on this.

It's just that this means hard work. I know most fans in the Philippines are students; but still, many are employed.

If we have the money, I guess it'll be okay to spend, right?

This is actually crucial.

Especially with the threat and expenses the soon-unfolding GDA brings. 

But as Philippine ELF, we all know that we should do this TOO.
(Imagine ELFs' sacrifices, haters. IMAGINE.)

I know I sound so self-centered considering the fact that this is Super Junior yet again who we're trying to get to the Philippines but if only you would step into our shoes, you would understand why we're doing everything we can to make it happen again, even for the last time.

We campaign for the success of this SS3 3D to bring them here again. That's a fact. We take all chances. We do all measures. Even uncertain...

Most of the time, we claim that it's because we want to see them. But you know, a part of this is because... 

we want THEM to see US.

And as much as I do not want to sound so nagging and miserable, this is one way of proving SM Entertainment that our boys aren't trashes.. It's not like we're blind. It's not like we cannot see what they're trying to do. 

It is undeniable that SJ is aging, but it doesn't make them any less... 

But their company doesn't see it. 

So it is us who should show them that.

So those in Manila, we've got lots of screenings to visit. Check Ms. Happee's page for it. For those in provinces, you can actually breathe well since there'd be no cancellations even if you wouldn't get it sold out. Nonetheless, bear in mind that if you don't meet the quota, PULP will lose money. And if they don't have money, SS4 will impossible.

That's the formula for the problem we have right now.

Now, it's up to us whether we solve it or we leave it blank.

...

It’s Not Just Because I Love Super Junior That’s Why I’m Here.

Yesterday was Super Junior’s 5th anniversary. And spending that special celebration with the people who share the same passion as mine is like one of the best things that ever happened in my life as a fangirl. It was so great to share that one special day with people who are celebrating the day, as well, for the very same reason.

And I am overwhelmed.

Honestly, I wasn’t able to sleep the night before the anniversary. I and Ate Yan were too busy doing the banner and preparing the balloons which we will be distributing during the KPOP Garage Sale. And though the banner was a COMPLETE FAIL, we made it possible to celebrate the anniversary here in Bulacan.

Then we headed to Eastwood City. There, the KPOP Garage Sale was being held. It was a sight to see because the place was jampacked with people who, I know, is not different from me. In that place, I felt really belonged.

We distributed the balloons and greeted everyone ‘Happy Anniversary’. Special day, it is. It’s overwhelming seeing others carrying the balloons we gave them. It’s overwhelming seeing others smile when we hand them one. It’s overwhelming seeing the place covered with blue.

It was overwhelming being there.

Then, I realized that November 6, 2010 wasn’t just special because it was the 5th anniversary of the boys. It was special because through that day, I was able to find my real purpose and discover who I really am.

The truth is I am not here anymore just because I love Super Junior. Because of what happened yesterday, I have actually found another reason to stay. I realized that another factor that makes me hold on to this despite the issues and expenses is the fact that I have friends here, real friends, who love me enough to make me stay.

It’s another miracle, and if not for Super Junior, I wouldn’t have experienced this.

Somehow, I do regret why I only do this now. From the first day that I indulged myself on this fandom, I never really thought that it would get as serious as this. But nevertheless, I’m thankful that I have succumbed to this. If not, I wouldn’t have understood that I am also entitled to be happy.

So allow me to mention a few names here…

Sarah, if it wasn’t for you, this blog would never exist. If it wasn’t for ICEPLUSCOFFEE, I wouldn’t have the motivation to pursue this interest. I told you that in this Sapphire Blue World, you are my favorite sister, and it never changes. You still are.  ♥

Pia and May, You’ve been so awesome that I can’t even find the right words to say just to express my deepest gratitude. You made it all happen for me since the very first time, and to that I’ll forever be thankful.

Lee, Danica, Joanna, Cybil, Rev, I know I have told you this but the chapter of my life wherein you entered my world is one of my favorite parts. You completed me, guys. The nightly spazzing, the random ideas, the exaggerated tears and laughter, the true love between sisters – you all made me experience those things. I wish I really could give back to you all the joy you’ve given me. But I… can never thank you enough.

Yuxing Unnie, I’ve gained so many international friends through this blog and the fanbase I’m holding. But you know what, only a few marked their territories on me. And I don’t know if  you’ll believe but you actually own the largest space in my heart. Maybe, there’s really this unbreakable connection between us; that despite not seeing each other yet, there’s this undeniable appeal of friendship.. of sisterhood.

I can never really express how thankful I am to have you. Meeting you and being loved by you was honestly one thing I never thought of.  You cared for me like a real sister and I am extremely overwhelmed by every message you send me.

Honestly, the idea of making international REAL friends is quite far-fetched for me. But it happened through you. Thank you, unnie. ♥

My WeLoveSJFamily, nothing has changed. You guys were my first spazzing partners and I know I did the right choice. :D Mookie and Xiatian, YOU GUYS MADE WONDER. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. ♥

Ate Yan, Ate Jowella, Ate Andrea, Ate Ems… Everything I did yesterday will never be possible if it wasn’t for the four of you. Above anyone else in Manila, it was you who made it happen. I couldn’t have done it alone. I couldn’t have enjoyed yesterday as much as I did if it wasn’t for you. Thank you. Thank you. Especially to you, Ate Yan. Thanks for staying awake with me.

And to my new found friend, Jhane of XCREW, I wasn’t lying when I said you and Jet are my biases. When I saw you crying after you won during the Kor-Phil Friendship Day, I felt the passion you have, not for Super Junior, but for dancing. I was a dancer myself and I saw myself in you. I may not have known you enough and yesterday might just be the first time we meet but I want you to know that I admire you. :)

And since you called me pretty, I love you na. :))

XCREW, thank you for doing this. That article you read will never be enough to compensate, and the more I talk to Jhane and realize how kind-hearted she is, the more I realize how fail I am with words to describe how proud I am of you.

The stalking thing, I don’t know if I can really do that. I’m too shy to even get close to you during events. LOL.

…

Whenever I think of these people, the smile is always there. I know that not everybody likes me and not everybody appreciates what I’m doing. But as long as I have these people, I will not stop and I will not let anybody hinder me from continuously finding my miracles.

Indeed, I owe Super Junior a lot, because if it really isn’t for them, I wouldn’t have known what LIFE is.