The Positive Side of this Dispute

It’s Christmas Day tomorrow. And personally, I have no idea how will I celebrate Christmas – with all these things pre-occupying my mind.

But it’s still my TRUE Savior’s birthday. And you know what? He has already given me his birthday blow-out. ^^

Yesterday wasn’t so good for me. Knowing that Jungsoo, Heenim and Kyuhyun shut their minihompies down added to my personal worries. You see, I’m also human and Super Junior is not the only thing I think of.

But thank God for He allowed me to be sane amidst everything.

Just this morning, I saw an update from twELFs saying that Super Junior M’s activities were canceled. The Super Show 2 in Guangzhou, China was also postponed. However, two dates were added for March. Other fans may think that this is another disappointment, but to me? It’s a blessing.

We all know how jam-packed Super Junior’s schedule is. Individually or as a group, they barely have time to take some rest, or even just take a shower. Remember when SJ-M performed at the APFF? They even had to convince their manager to let them take a shower before their performance. And then, remember Teukkie’s cyworld entries? He seems… tired. We even caught him sleeping in GDA, right? And the worst, Geng’s reason for filing the termination case – he was being forced to attend activities even he’s sick – and because of that, he even got gastritis.

Ladies and gentlemen, here’s my point. There’s something positive in all these things. TwELFs had already said it, and I am elaborating. Somehow, this incident led the boys to a break. Geng’s issues with SM Entertainment allowed them to be themselves once more, to remember who they used to be and what they used to be. Finally, here’s a time to rest.

I may sound absurd. I may sound like I don’t care. But ELFs, above anything else, it’s the boys’ health that I’ve always been concerned of. Yes, we always want to see them on stage, we always want to see them all together, we always want to see the bests in them. But have you ever thought of the reality that we’re being selfish?

I am an ELF. And I admit that I’m guilty of this. I was a self-centered brat who wants Super Junior for herself. Now, I realized that I have intruded the boys’ privacy. I crossed the thin line that divides their idol self to their personal life. And I am sorry.

THIS CHRISTMAS, I’VE DECIDED TO GIVE MYSELF A CHANCE TO BE FORGIVEN.

That’s why I’m writing this. Honestly, I am hoping that everybody will understand what I’m saying.

The issues have hurt us so much. The wound caused by Kibum’s absence and Kangin’s suspension was cut open again by Geng’s case. We are all bleeding.

And through this entry, I’m offering the first-aid kit. Everyone, let’s see it this way: It wasn’t good that this dispute was started but somehow, I thank Geng for if not for him, Super Junior would not experience how it feels to rest.

Stare at the picture above. So relaxing. So comfortable. So peaceful.

This is the way I want to see them all. Even for just a while. Even just this Christmas season.