Better

I’ve met life’s most depressing points, I’ve been through the darkest days and have met different people,but life has its perks after all. Indeed, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. And I guess, I have found my way there.

How can I stop being so grateful, I don’t know. I felt so special. I felt so appreciated. Everytime I’m with those people,it feels like a brand new world.

Indeed, I cannot find the right words anymore. With the three articles I have written about them, I have come to realize that emotions are better left unsaid. Coz if I insist, it will come out senseless.

But then I have to try because if I keep it to myself, how can I make others know of these people’s greatness?

Okay. So last night was a night full of impulsive decisions. After office, I went to Pasig City to stalk some of the my most favorite people in the fandom. It’s a new place to me and it’s a good thing that I have someone for a company.

It was a pageant – an event I never really enjoyed. Nevertheless, the thought that my ‘friends’ will be there performing made me feel the excitement.

The problem is my parents didn’t know about it and all they knew was we were on our way home already. I know it’s stupid. But what would I not do to see something ordinary fans couldn’t.

Fast forward. I wasn’t able to watch the performance. But then you know what, I think I have gotten more.

Ate Jen sent me a text message  telling me not to go home yet and meet them outside. That was actually moving for me. It’s like she really wanted to see me. She was with Majo and they were in their costumes already. Super cute and sexy; and for a few minutes, I couldn’t help but reminisce the days when it was me who used to wear such kinds of costumes for dances.

Then Ate Jen hugged me. For the second time, I was like ‘what have I done again?’ If I’ll be getting those kinds of hugs everytime I write an article about them, I wouldn’t hesitate to compose one everyday.

Then I got introduced to Majo and Ed. Charm and Jhane were there too. Afterwards, I said I wanted to meet Kuya Jerry so Ed called them from inside the hall. While waiting, I felt the shame. I even asked myself how dare am I to request to know the other members.

But then Kuya Jerry, Ate Atchie and Jet appeared.

THEN I FELT AT EASE.

Really. Compared to last Saturday when I met them as XCrew, I think meeting them as who they are really made a big difference. For the first time, I get to understand their points why I shouldn’t feel shy whenever I’m with them.

It is actually more overwhelming hearing their appreciative words when they’re in their normal state. LOL. Yeah, it moved me more. But surprisingly, it’s much easier to handle.

I don’t know who’s who but I heard someone said praises. ‘Great cheonsa23′, he said. I smiled at the thought but the denial on the weight of those words emerged victorious. Because to me, I was never great.

I do not want to be annoyingly humble but I speak the truth. To me, the greatness of a writer comes from the greatness of the subject he’s writing. I’m just an apprentice when it comes to blogging. How can I be great?

Truth is, I never stopped spazzing to Ate Andrea when we were on our way home. Even before we sleep and right after we wake up, when we were eating breakfast, I kept on mentioning their names.

Yes, I’m referring to them using their first names.

Assuming much?

Right now, beside me is the piece of paper which they signed. How can stalking be right if I don’t have their autographs? I told them I’m gonna show it to their fans in Davao but honestly, it will be kept in my memoirs box.

MISSING: Leeteuk's (Pipo) and Shindong's (Kuya Marvin)

Who wrote this? Jet or Ed?

JHANEEEEEEEEEEE!

I know, I know. Some people may be thinking that I’m just taking advantage. Honestly, I fear such kinds of reactions that’s why I don’t want Ate Atchie, Kuya Jerry and Jet to post my article on their fan page. I don’t want other people to assume that I’m using this blog to get close to these wonderful people.

BUT IT’S NOT LIKE THAT. EVERYTHING’S GENUINE. EVERYTHING’S REAL.

Indeed, the stress brought by the whole day of working, and dealing with some random stupid people outside the office were swept away. I felt relieved. I felt relaxed. I felt at ease.

And everytime I remember how tight Jhane’s hug was before we left, the more I realized that if there are lucky XCrew fans, I would definitely be one of them.

Thank you for making me feel better.

(credit to Mr. David for the picture ^^)