Fail Segue

What’s wrong with me? OMG. HAHAHA! The song ‘Angel’ is in loop and it’s the only song in my playlist right now. And if you can only see me tonight, you would actually question if I’m still sane or have I lost my mind already.

I swear I couldn’t stop smiling.

It’s the same thing that happened when I first heard this song. I felt so flattered and I couldn’t really contain the joy. It was really manifested on me during the whole day I was in the office. If I could just scream and shriek, I would. And until now, I want to but I couldn’t. Or my mom would come here in my room and scold me again for sure.

But really, this song has casted a smiling and laughing spell on me. And just like before, I think it has something to do with the title. I mean, everybody knows that my name is Angel and yes, it’s the title of the song.

However, I think it’s the awesomeness of the song which drives me to insanity. Well, in a good way of course. I mean, I don’t get all the lyrics. But on rare times that I do, it gives me this feeling that the boys are just there.

You see, I’m a thousand miles away from them. They don’t even know I exist! (unless Heechul remembered that creepy girl who touched his arms on the hotel. HAHAHA!) But I feel like they’re just beside me. I feel like they know me.

This is not a selfish claim. It’s just that somehow, I feel proud to realize that this is the power which allows me to hold on to them. Everybody knows that it’s not easy to give this fandom up. Everybody knows that once we’re here, there’s no way out. And I think this is the reason why.

Though they do not know us, they make us feel loved. Because in everything that they do, we find ourselves on it. We end up being involved. Even though it is just a product of our own imaginations, everybody should just admit that at one point, our paths intersect.

How do I explain it? I just want to say that I have just realized that the reason why I cannot let go of Super Junior is because they cannot let go of me too. This actually applies to all of us here. They have this power of making us all feel special. Like all songs, all gestures, all things they say and do – it’s all for us.

Because they love us.

I’m not just making myself believe. I’m not just assuming. I am saying what I am feeling and it’s the best thing of all. Now I understand why Donghae referred to us as the Everlasting Friends. Because we are not fans. We are actually parts of their lives.

So fellow ELFs, let’s not dwell on competing against other fandoms. Because you see, we’re lucky on our own rights. We have the boys, and it’s all that matters.