그리워요... 너무 그리워요...

It was late when I learned that the "Breakups are Like Me" video of Kim Heechul and Kim Janghoon is a leaked one. So that must have been the reason why the video stated "Kim Heechul featuring Kim Janghoon". 

But even if that's the case, please allow me to post three screencaps from the video. Because I just have to say things to make me feel better. 

I miss Kim Heechul.

I miss him so much that I could no longer find my way back to my spazzing mood. After A-Cha, the link was given to me and as much as I want to focus on the usual funny antics Heenim showed on the video, a few seconds stroke the emotional string, and I was led to shedding tears. 

When the bridge part came, Heenim was showed stroking his hair; and I knew right then that there's gonna be something to follow. The feel of the video's flow have convinced me that the clips are leading to what I dreaded most to see.

But then, of course, unless I close the video, the truth wouldn't be stopped from coming to me.

And it did.

And I was just muffling myself with my pillow when I finally confirmed that the video is indeed another 'goodbye' from Heenim.

I couldn't really understand the lyrics, not even a single part of it. So I couldn't know if it really says something about Heenim's enlistment.

Nonetheless, it got me to tears. Because the truth is, I have tried to take things coolly when he left for the army. I must have been shedding tears before but with the thought that he'll be back after a month kept me from going too emotional. I didn't expect that it will be this video which will drive me to admitting that I am much affected than how I thought I was about this whole army thing.

Just this morning, I have read the interview of Heenim on the KATC blog. I was laughing with his replies because it convinced me that Heenim is gonna be out of the training camp in two weeks. But then again, the MV made me feel the opposite of everything I felt this morning. 

But you know where these two occurrences led me to?

I became prouder for Kim Heechul. I got myself convinced that even in the army, Kim Heechul will continuously exceed all my expectations of him.

And though I said that I will not wait for him, I think I'm beginning to do otherwise.

I hope the next two years fly. Because I miss him so much. 

A-Cha

I am not in my right mind right now so I cannot come up with a good entry about the A-Cha MV.

But one thing is for sure:

Super Junior has once again proven that being superb is not about new concepts, story plots, or special effects.

Because if the artist is great, everything else will follow.

I am incoherent. This is a rollercoaster ride I'm in again right now. A-Cha is much better than I expected, and I raise my glasses to all the members. I couldn't really thank SME that much because of some reasons which I don't want to expound on.

Go watch the MV. Let this surpass all history which we, ourselves, have set.

Joy that is Enough to Last for Two Years :)

I think I swore I won't wait for you, but with this recent interview/special goodbye you had released in KATC blog, I think I'm changing my mind.

Kim Heechul, you make no one miss you. You always make sure that your presence is felt, and you assure the people who love you that you are enjoying every bit of what you have chosen to do.

That is the Kim Heechul that I love, and I am just so happy to start my week knowing that you are perfectly fine in the training camp.

What I Worship about A-Cha

For some, the song is ordinary. But just like Mr. Simple, it is catchy and definitely dance-worthy. It is one of the few songs that would really give you the Last Song Syndrome, which of course, you wouldn't realize that you have already because you'll enjoy singing the song too much, or hum it (at least).

I haven't read any translation of A-Cha yet. The songs Andante and A Day has been keeping my player busy as these two songs are on loop the whole day. But when I saw its live performances yesterday and today on Music Bank and Music Core, respectively, I realized that A-Cha (setting my being an ELF aside) is really capable of receiving the same recognition as Sorry, Sorry. (Mr. Simple is the one that toppled its history.)

You know, choreography really emphasizes the beauty of a song. When A-Cha was released, my first thought was how will it be danced. Being an amateur dancer myself, I could say that it's quite difficult to put steps on it. The tune's slow but fast, so noobs would most likely go bonkers in finding the right choreo for it.

Nonetheless, SJ's choreographer made magic and came up with great moves. Though it cannot compare to Mr. Simple's, A-Cha's moves have its own charm. And if there is one thing which I could never get over with, it's the jump on the bridge part (the one with Shindong in the middle). Because during this part, it'll be a shame not to admit that Shindong becomes the most badass guy in my world.

As for the voice qualities, KRY's adlibs are definitely unquestionable. If someone will tell me right now - straight in my face - that they did nothing extraordinary in the song, I would readily throw my PC at that person. Because if you are just an ordinary singer, you wouldn't be able to hit those freaking high notes while executing those breath-catching choreography. Kyuhyun, Ryeowook and Yesung's voices are totally numbing all my senses. It's just so beautiful, I can't even...

And with Jungsu... I was like... 'WHAT ON EARTH SHOULD I REACT ABOUT HIM.' From the teaser to the main performance, he kept me astounded (but that's given coz just one stare from him and I'm melting). But what I really worship about him in this song was his voice. I never really thought that he's capable of being a bass. haha! It was really a surprise to hear him sing like that, especially that we all know how his pitch really is. I don't want to believe others saying that it's not his voice, because I know and I have the god-feeling that it's his......

Okay. As much as I don't want to mention this because I might end up getting spanked... the teaser was released yesterday and I swear, I had to pause my player and repeat the few seconds that it showed Sungmin's close up shot. His perfection sent my heartbeat to a halt, I swear. He was like a doll in the video, but in the live stage, he was fierce... and you know I love fierce Sungmin... That's why that's another thing I worship for this song.

So enjoy the song. :)

Better Late than Never ♥

Behold! The kings are back once again, and there's no stopping. They're off to spread the virus of perfection once again!!!


This is not a joke, I swear. Believe me. When I first watched the video, my heart stopped beating for a few seconds. It's not like I'm overreacting but everything just seems so damn perfect!


I have wished for an MV with a story but apparently, SME is making the boys stick with a uniform concept until they retire. >.< There's a recycled set, some recycled appeal, recycled approach.


BUT SO WHAT?


This is Super Junior, and Super Junior is this.
And there is nobody who can tell us all that this is a stupid teaser because it is certainly not.


The kings are back. We're on for a rollercoaster ride again, everyone!
Let's give them back the Daesang!!! 

Passion Over Money

For one day, I got to go back to myself. In spite of the abrupt notice, the on-the-spot decisions, the long break from it, and despite not being paid… Finally! I got the chance to do what I really want, even just for one day.

I missed the applauses of people. I missed the screams. I missed the curses backstage. I miss the panic. I missed the sweat and tears. I missed the smiles. I missed the feeling. I missed this passion. I miss production. I missed myself.

Indeed, this is the stress that I love.

Ditching work is never regretted. I even feel proud. In spite of being not able to receive any amount for that day, I got to be happy… to be really happy. And I think it’s what really, really matters.

I guess life has taught me one lesson last night. In working, it’s not really how much you earn that drives you to enjoy what you’re doing. It’s about the joy and the contentment you feel when you’re there, when you’re on the spot of making things happen, of making your dreams come true.

That explains why there are people who gets contented on being in a low employment position. This is the reason why there are still people who are filled with humility to just stay where they are. Not that they’re not dreaming big for themselves and their families, but because they know that forcing oneself to do something which does not make him happy is like doing nothing at all.

Getting employed is one of the biggest blessings God has ever given me. I love my company. I love my officemates. But as I say, this is not my field. This is not what I want to do. Sure thing, I can but if the articles I write do not meet my expectations, how can it meet others’? especially my bosses’?

As Bob Ong (MY IDOL!!!) had once said, technical writing is important. But the truth is: it is for others to do. His call is for something creative.

And I guess, that applies to me too.

After the production, I went home tired. But I am the happiest person I know. I got to help the people I love. I got to do what I want. Two birds hit with one stone. Awesome, yeah?

And then before I went to sleep last night, I thought of one thing: Super Junior. We all know how SM is. We can’t be idiots not to know that there are financial discrepancies. But the boys continue to do what they love doing. They continue to give us the best of who they are and of what they can do.

Yes, too good to be true.. ^^

I wish everybody will understand that it’s not everyday that you find the passion to do something. So if you get the chance and you are presented with the opportunity, grab it. No hesitations. No thinking twice. If it’s a low-paying job, so be it! After all, the sense of accomplishment pays more.^^

Feels Like We're Chilling~

Yesterday, it was the launch of PULP’s special edition for Super Junior and 2ne1. XCrew performed but to my frustration and depression, I wasn’t able to watch them perform full. I almost tripped while running to Gateway, I was palpitating, I was sweating and my leg felt like it wouldn’t move anymore… only to arrive at the venue when it’s the bridge part of Mr. Simple already. T_T

 So to somehow ease my frustration, I chilled with Jethro, Julia and Lui. ♥ and my paloys. ♥

Thanks for lending me your cam, Lui!!!

(more pics under the cut)

On Sungmin’s Blog and Privacy

I won’t come clean. Even before the Ming’s Naver blog got publicized, I knew about it and was already feasting over the entries there. A friend linked it to me and keeping ourselves composed is like one of the most challenging things we had to do to keep it a secret. We had to suppress ourselves from spazzing when our insides are already grumbling and turning upside down.

Until now, I can still remember the goosebumps I had when I first saw all entries. Everything was candidly written, everything was exactly the way Sungmin would have wanted it to be, everything was privately public. One thing I will never forget about that day (and I’m not exaggerating things here!) is that in that blog, I feel so close to the real Lee Sungmin, not the Super Junior Sungmin.

Among the members of Super Junior, I have always believed that it is Sungmin who is the most private. I couldn’t cite incidents to prove it but looking at his eyes, I know that there are so many things that he has been trying to hide from us. In spite of being an idol, I knew he wanted a private space wherein he could be himself; a private space where his popularity will not intervene the kind of life that he wanted to live.

But obviously, we blocked that ideology.

Of course, it could be an excuse that they didn’t know that it was supposed to be private, but even common sense would tell that privacy is the main objective why you couldn’t just save the pictures by right-clicking or you cannot just highlight the words and copy it. That is why, it got me terribly disappointed to see all contents of those blog being published on social networking sites, particularly on Tumblr.

We tried hard to stop the distribution of Ming’s blog’s contents. But to no avail. Eventually, Shindong linked it to his Naver blog, and he posted the link on his me2day account. I personally believe that that move wasn’t because he wanted to open up to the public. I believe that he did that because he had no other choice. No matter how we look at it, there is no longer even the tiniest bit of privacy in there.

Once again, I’m not coming clean. Of course, I’m guilty. But as much as I do not want to sound so ridiculous and immature, I just want to say that at least, we clung onto what Sungmin really wanted. Though the translations are rampant and the notes of each picture on Tumblr are shooting up high, we could say that we never contributed to the spreading of those materials. We read, we enjoy, but we kept it on us alone.

OKAY. My point here is that in one way or another, we all infiltrated Sungmin’s privacy. But at least, some people admitted that they did wrong and tried to correct the mistake as guilt overwhelms them for taking away what Sungmin really wanted.

KPOP, in the View of an Ordinary Fan

I am no authority, yet I have this personal space in the World Wide Web as a place to express my opinion; and as I notice the sudden emergence of the lack of knowledge towards my greatest interest, I feel compelled to somehow feed the need of some people for information about what KPOP really is.

WHAT IS KPOP?

KPOP, or Korean Pop, is a genre of music in South Korea. With the term POP, it is a type of music that is lively and danceable. Sometimes, ballad is classified into it, and that’s totally acceptable because it’s a general term.

At the moment, KPOP is the ace of Korean tourism. Many are dreaming of going to South Korea just to lay eyes on the KPOP idols.

‘Idols’ is the term used to refer to KPOP artists. In a culturally-strict country as South Korea, these idols tend to serve as role models among Korean youth. That’s why they have to look perfect; and the more perfect they are, the more they inspire Korean fans. Companies invest large sums of money to come up with the best people for the best groups. Even though it requires plastic surgery, excessive dieting and endless workouts and dance/vocal/acting trainings, artists would bear all those just to be noticed. That’s culture for Korea; business for companies; dream for artists; and entertainment and inspiration for fans – including international ones, US.

THE FLAWS OF KPOP

But of course, KPOP can’t be fully perfect. It has flaws, which we – ourselves – see. We are not in-denial about the imperfections of our fandom. We criticize our idols, and others’ idols. Hating and bashing applies among us; that’s the reason why there are so-called fanwars. Of course, that is not encouraged; but it’s happening – WITHIN THE WORLD WE’RE IN.

Also, KPOP is mostly in Korean; and since not all of us are capable of understanding it, we depend on translators.  From the songs, to blog entries, to tweets, to videos and other stuffs, we depend on people who know Korean well. And just the same, some Korean songs have wrong English on it. So we’re fair.

In KPOP, it is also a common knowledge that we literally empty our wallets and bank accounts to show support. We work double and earn double to financially sustain our fandom. We shed out money for albums, merchandises, concert tickets (and plane fares). We even finance support and charity projects for our idols. It is difficult, of course, considering the kind of set-up our economy is at now. But we continue, out of sheer dedication and – according to many, – craziness.

Another thing about KPOP is that it puts its fans into an emotional rollercoaster ride all the time. We are happy over good things and we’re sad about the bad ones. Disbandment, army, and relationships are like our constant worries. Indeed, KPOP somehow makes people appear selfish and idealistic, and it somehow sends us away from reality. This is a common problem we, ourselves, are trying to handle.

WHY WE LOVE KPOP

But amidst the many errors KPOP has, we stick to it; because despite its imperfections, we find greater reasons to keep on believing on its magic.

One great thing about KPOP is that the idols and fans exert effort to communicate. As said, we have translators. But directly, many fans learn Korean. In return, idols learn English. It’s that simple.

Another thing: despite the fanwars I was talking about, the KPOP fandom allows us to meet spectacular people. I personally met real friends on Twitter because of Super Junior. We started as virtual friends, then we met, and then we became close, and then we became friends. That’s one truth that happens.

KPOP teaches the value of thriftiness, as well. I don’t know if this applies to others but to me and some friends who do not depend on parents for fandom finances, we learn how to work and budget our money just to be able to provide for our families and sustain our fandom needs, at the same time.

And since we learned how to budget, it allows us to pursue our dreams. My ultimate ambition is to go to South Korea. Way before I knew of Super Junior, I’ve had that dream already; and KPOP has actually given me more motivation to push through with it. You see, KPOP serves as a stimulus for you to chase your dream. It never fails.

Lastly, KPOP makes us a better person. Our idols inspire us a lot because more than the looks and talent, many KPOP artists have hearts of gold. No, it’s not because I think so high of them. I actually couldn’t find a way to prove it literally, but I think anyone who do not believe should just have to indulge themselves in KPOP and understand it for themselves.

KPOP: A SEPARATE WORLD

KPOP is another world, for us. This is one thing which non-fans fail to notice. We live in a dimension wherein only we and our idols exist. That’s a common nature of KPOP, and that’s a distinguishing factor that sets it apart from anything else.

But being inside its realm does not mean we are restricted from going out. KPOP, no matter how addictive, can still be suppressed. And even if there are some people who are blatant about campaigning that loving KPOP is loving KPOP alone, I assure you that the people who believe otherwise is still much bigger in number.

It does not follow that just because KPOP fans love KPOP means they no longer have the capability to like others. And I think the issue of  liking your own music more is immature, because it’s just a matter of interest. For example, KPOP cannot be compared to OPM, and OPM cannot be compared to KPOP. It’s just two different things which can co-exist, regardless of which comes first. For KPOP fans, KPOP will naturally comes first; and OPM loyalists cannot argue that that’s turning back against the local music scene. Because that’s not necessarily how it is. KPOP fans remain to appreciate good music. And we have our own preferences when it comes to music other than KPOP, of course. So let’s not dwell on the issue of ethnocentricity because as how Sir Chito put it, it’s just like food – you don’t force yourself to eat it if you don’t like it, and you don’t force others to eat it when you didn’t.

REALITY IN THE EYES OF A KPOP FAN

KPOP is no longer about just music and trend. It has become a lifestyle, an inspiration, a motivation; and to some, a dream. KPOP is much, much better than the stereotypical impression non-fans put on it. It, in any way, is still music; because it does what music does – UNITING PEOPLE.

It’s just sad that we, as fans, couldn’t prove it immediately; because KPOP is understood only when you’re in it. Thus, only those who would give it a chance to be understood can discover the reality of my statements above.

So let the hating come to a halt. Let music – whether KPOP or whatever – be free from stereotyping and wrong impressions, because whatever we do, it will always be part of music. And please, the words ‘opinion’ and ‘freedom of expression’ have long gone been overrated. Enough of it, already. :)

–

This is KPOP in the view of an ordinary fan who enjoys it, and enjoys OPM too. It doesn’t really speak in behalf of the majority; but I hope that this somehow clears that KPOP, whatever it is, should be appreciated – because people put effort to come up with it.

Rant

Sir Miggy,

This really doesn’t matter, but this is an opinion I wish to express:

Music is still about music. It’s just one’s perception that makes it no longer what it should be. KPOP is music. So as rock. Kanya-kanyang trip. OPM lives on while KPOP exists. I wonder why yung ibang mga OPM artists pa mismo ang pumapatay non. KPOP isn’t a threat to local music, unless one thinks so. And coming from a KPOP fan who loves OPM rock, KPOP isn’t just about handsome and sexy singers/dancers. It’s much, much more than that. And I know that OPM isn’t just about noise, as how others think it is. It is much, much more than that.

Loving KPOP does not mean turning back against OPM. And sorry for this, sir, but just because some of them don’t listen to your songs means they don’t support their own na. It’s a matter of interest. Pero sa mga katulad kong fan niyo din, nakakadisappoint na na-generalize kami. Of course, you wouldn’t admit that you did generalize. But if you put yourself in the shoes of a KPOP fan, you will notice the heavy sarcasm your words have.

Yeah, sarcasm. It’s the sarcasm of your tweets which angered many. We respect your opinions, why not. Many might just be acting violently, but most still respect your opinions. How many times have you been like this towards KPOP na ba, diba? But only this one that you managed to make everyone erupt. And you ask why your opinions are always thought to be disrespectful?

Sir, it’s a matter of interest. If we like KPOP, so be it. In the first place, OPM will still be our resting place. And also sir, mind you… Just because they’re speaking in Korean means we can’t understand them. What you will never know about KPOP is that the artists and the fans – even though they do not fully understand each other at once – exert effort to communicate. Basic proof? We try hard to learn Korean (and that’s why we have translators.) and in return, they learn English. In some cases, they even tried learning Tagalog. Please, don’t try to question our intelligence.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ganyan kalaki ang galit mo sa KPOP. But I believe you’re not the only one. Many ‘rakistas’ (wherein majority are actually posers!) have the same opinion. I hope you pay attention to what Sir Chito had said…

And once again sir, wag niyo naman ikumpara ang buong KPOP sa POGI-ROCK.Nakakahiya din po kasi parang kinumpara niyo ang KPOP sa sarili niyo. :(  (Of course, you wouldn’t admit that you were once a part of it. You were once on mainstream, sir. I hope you would look back at it.) 

Music is made to bridge the gaps among people. And music makers have no right – in any way – to use it (or their status as music makers) to generate hate.

Accepting the Truth

I know for a fact that sooner or later, Super Junior will come to an end. I know I always say that I believe in them and I promise to do so forever, but that does not stop the inevitable end from happening. The members have their own lives to lead, own paths to take – and it cannot be possible that we will be together for the rest of our lives.

But there is one thing which will keep all things alive even after years – the memories that serve as proofs that once in our lifetime, we walked paths together with 15 great individuals.

That is why we have to focus on the present. I am telling this myself continuously – because I always tend to be the first one to see beyond today. It’s quite difficult, but with a little practice and effort, we will all be able to handle it well.

What could happen is scary. I, personally, cannot picture myself living a life without these boys. I’ve gotten so used to smiling for/with/because of them for the past 4 years of my life. But as I’ve said, there are memories to rely on.

So what do we do? I suggest that we all unite. Enough of the sarcasm against everyone. Together, let’s start making memories in the best way possible. Let’s meet halfway. Let the newbies learn from the seniors. Let the seniors guide the newbies. Forget competition. Forget wars.

We should all accept that whether we like it or not, Super Junior will disband. So please, let us just come together and cherish what we have left. Appreciate the boys more, and appreciate each other.

So that when the time comes that we take separate ways, we could still find reasons to re-unite and stand proud as the people who created the Sapphire Blue World much more magical and perfect than it is. Then that way, we could face the boys with so much pride and joy that we managed to hold on through the memories they have left us with.

Toppled History on SJ’s 11th Win

So it’s the fifth time in a row that Super Junior won in Music Bank, and it’s the 11th win if we include the other programs.

What does this mean?

HISTORY.

I can’t help but be so proud that Super Junior has created history. I’ve been a fan of KPOP for so long, but this is the first time that I heard of a group winning 6 times in a row for a single song. Maybe, my knowledge is limited. But if ever my suspicion is not true, I would still be proud because for a single to stay on the top for 5 straight weeks is already something.

I’m all smiles while writing. Suddenly, all the stress given by work during this whole day were eased away. It was the greatest reliever. Because knowing that we got the 11th win, I can say that we have a big chance in fulfilling Hyukjae’s dream of having 15 wins for Mr. Simple.

This is probably annoying already for non-fans. But this is something which proves that despite the constant criticisms and assumptions that SJ is no longer doing well because of members leaving, they are still one of the greatest stars in South Korea – and obviously – in the whole world.

Jungsu must have been possessed by some magical spirit when he told Donghae before that time will come that whatever they do will be a part of history. Because now, they’re living in this predicted reality.

Congratulations, boys! ♥ Much love~!!!!

Paradise

photo credit: Zhao Yuxing | edit by: cheonsa23

Few more months. More hard work. I’ll be able to set foot on you.

Wait for me. ♥