그리워요... 너무 그리워요...

It was late when I learned that the "Breakups are Like Me" video of Kim Heechul and Kim Janghoon is a leaked one. So that must have been the reason why the video stated "Kim Heechul featuring Kim Janghoon". 

But even if that's the case, please allow me to post three screencaps from the video. Because I just have to say things to make me feel better. 

I miss Kim Heechul.

I miss him so much that I could no longer find my way back to my spazzing mood. After A-Cha, the link was given to me and as much as I want to focus on the usual funny antics Heenim showed on the video, a few seconds stroke the emotional string, and I was led to shedding tears. 

When the bridge part came, Heenim was showed stroking his hair; and I knew right then that there's gonna be something to follow. The feel of the video's flow have convinced me that the clips are leading to what I dreaded most to see.

But then, of course, unless I close the video, the truth wouldn't be stopped from coming to me.

And it did.

And I was just muffling myself with my pillow when I finally confirmed that the video is indeed another 'goodbye' from Heenim.

I couldn't really understand the lyrics, not even a single part of it. So I couldn't know if it really says something about Heenim's enlistment.

Nonetheless, it got me to tears. Because the truth is, I have tried to take things coolly when he left for the army. I must have been shedding tears before but with the thought that he'll be back after a month kept me from going too emotional. I didn't expect that it will be this video which will drive me to admitting that I am much affected than how I thought I was about this whole army thing.

Just this morning, I have read the interview of Heenim on the KATC blog. I was laughing with his replies because it convinced me that Heenim is gonna be out of the training camp in two weeks. But then again, the MV made me feel the opposite of everything I felt this morning. 

But you know where these two occurrences led me to?

I became prouder for Kim Heechul. I got myself convinced that even in the army, Kim Heechul will continuously exceed all my expectations of him.

And though I said that I will not wait for him, I think I'm beginning to do otherwise.

I hope the next two years fly. Because I miss him so much.