Even They Know... :)

I was watching Running Man Episode 61. They were in China and were divided into three groups. I wouldn't mention every bit about it because one thing that I just noticed there was that Super Junior's popularity was actually implied there. haha!

So they completed a task and were on their way to a new destination through a tram when Yoo Jaesuk, Gary Kang and Lee Yeonhee noticed that there were still fans who are running to catch up to them. Jaesuk noticed it and Gary was really surprised.. Then he blurted this out:

I had to contain my laughter because it was already 2AM and everybody in the house were sleeping already. ㅋㅋㅋ

Kindly take note that this happened to Gary's team.

Then for the second team (Kim Jong Kook, Haha and Kim Joohyuk), they went on the tram and was followed by fans as well. The girls got to catch up and one raised a Haha-dedicated poster. I was doing a good job restraining myself from laughing but I succumbed after noticing this:

Of course, that E.L.F. could mean a lot of things; but I don't think Haha's fans are called E.L.F. too and I don't think that that girl's name is ELF. hahaha! So allow me to assume that that E.L.F. on the girl's paper stands for Everlasting Friends, the fans of Super Junior.

It just feels cute and overwhelmed and thankful and happy that even Gary knows about SJ's popularity in China... and it feels better to realize that E.L.F. will do whatever she can to prove SJ that they are being loved so much. 

I wish there'll be a Running Man SJ special. ㅋㅋㅋ I just want to see the boys running around and playing challenges... :)

On Jungsu's Marriage

WARNING: This is a very assuming post.

credits as tagged

I have been very vocal about Jungsu's 'marriage' on WGM, right? Well, it's not that people give a damn about my opinions but it's just that I cannot keep the thoughts for myself. I needed to vent it all out on this blog and make people know that as a fan, I couldn't really accept the setup.

But when I saw Jungsu smile at Sora, when I saw inexplicable joy drawn on his face, I realized that there is no reason to hate the decision of getting married, on-screen.

Because it permits me to see Jungsu authentically happy.

I watched all released episodes (there were 3 already) and I have to admit that I'm longing for more. haha! No, seriously, it was so comfortable to watch, everything's so candid (I believe Jungsu's really that flirt >:]), and Jungsu's just so sweet.

The jealousy and envy which I have been dreading for didn't come. Instead, I was greeted by acceptance and realization that if the time comes that Jungsu really gets married, I'll be able to be happy for him. <3

And Kang Sora? Admit it or not, she's so beautiful and pure. I do not really know her. I haven't seen any of her works. But seeing her smile at Jungsu, and appreciate everything the leader is doing for her, I believe MBC did the right move of pairing her with my bias.

Jungsu asked for the blessings of ELF on Music Core, and I guess I can now give it wholeheartedly. :)

Dimple Couple FIGHTING!

SPL's Project for Super Junior's 6th Anniversary

Fandom isn't just about us - fans - flailing on sexy abs, and going crazy on songs which you think we would never understand.

Fandom isn't just about us - fans - spending gracious bucks on the same albums, 3-hour concerts, and plane tickets to Korea.

Fandom isn't just about us - fans - being happy on our own.

Because sometimes, it's about helping others be happy too. ♥

Confirmation. ♥

It just feels better than my sponsorship is confirmed.

Now we have to wait for another 45 days to see if they got my pleas right <3

Just too bad because I thought I could get it on time for the anniversary.

I can't wait to see who the recipient will be. <3

Live Life to the Fullest!

This photo speaks a lot.

Do the best in life, as how I understood Teuk's tweet.

Jump into a dimension where you know you would be happy.

Live life to the fullest.

And I just love how the whole thing features the color Sapphire Blue...

and just a little of every other color.

Park Jungsu, I really made the best decision when I decided to fall in love with you.

Shin Dong Hee

Sorry.

I just can't contain the giggles.

Shindong's soooooo hot in this picture. <3

PhELF, I Love You. HAHAHA

PHILIPPINE VERSION:

PHILIPPINE ELF'S VERSION:

credits not mine

(NASAAN KA = WHERE ARE YOU)

/DYINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I was just planning on editing something like this out but someone did it ahead of me, and I swear I still die laughing. HAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

No but seriously, wherever Sungmin is, just let him be. hahahaha

Let's at least grant him the privacy which he always wanted to have. XD

"IT'S NOT A VACATION IF IT'S A VACATION WITHOUT TEUKIE HYUNG.."

• Dahil walang manlilibre.
• Dahil walang mapagtitripan.
• Dahil walang ipapain sa babae.
• Dahil walang oorder ng pagkain pag tinatamad lahat.
• Dahil walang back-up sa kumpanya pag may ginawang kalokohan.

Pero "IT'S NOT A VACATION IF IT'S A VACATION WITHOUT TEUKIE HYUNG.."

• Dahil hindi panatag pag walang kuya.

[Trans] @donghae861015: Not jealous of Eunhyuk!!ㅎㅎ Eunhyuk-ah are you seeing this?? A holiday without Teukie-hyung isn’t even a holidayㅎㅎㅎ Eunhyuk-ah you’re losing out! (credits not mine)

First Step

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Finally, my long-term dream has started. I have made the initial deposit for World Vision Development Foundation already, and just in time for Super Junior's 6th Anniversary on November 6th!

It has always been my dream to involve myself on this. You know, I value education a lot so I think I just have to do my part in helping unfortunate kids go to school. Of course, I could just choose a recipient from our place but that will be too difficult since envy may arise among people.

So I got into World Vision and decided to sponsor a child!

But since I also want to do a long-term project for Jungsu, I decided to include him in the plan. teehee. I put his name as the sponsor, so all the letters and cards which the kid I will be sponsoring will be addressed to him. Figuratively, he'll the foster father. <3

This is not really much of a project, I know. And I would not forsake the kid's identity and spread his/her personal information here. I did this just for the sake of coming up with a compilation because in the future, I want to look back to the my past and tell myself and the whole world that this fandom isn't just about spending fortunes for the boys and for myself... It's about helping others be happy too. <3  

As Promised...

I know you all remember the Leeteuk notebooks I used to sell, right? I told you that a part of the profits will be donated to TwELFs for whatever purpose, as long as it helps SJ in GDA.

The total profit is Php1,200.00; and I have sent half of the amount already to Rev (SJ Subs/SPL co-founder)! Yay! I know it took long but even though it's roughly $28, I hope it will somehow be of help to the cause. ^^

I will send the remaining 600php on the 15th, evil sis! <3

On New York Times

Korean Pop Machine, Running on Innocence and Hair Gel

photo by Chad Batka for the New York Times

By JON CARAMANICA

Published: October 24, 2011

Think of the work required to make just one Justin Bieber. The production, the management, the vocal training, the choreography, the swagger coaching — all that effort to create one teen-pop star in a country that’s still starving for them. South Korea has no such drought, thanks to several companies that specialize in manufacturing a steady stream of teenage idols, in groups of various configurations. One of the longest-running of these companies is SM Entertainment, which on Sunday night hosted SM Town Live, a sold-out showcase at Madison Square Garden for several of its acts, any one of which any American reality-TV talent show or major-label A&R department worth its salt would be thrilled to have discovered.

Read the rest of the content here.

KPOP on New York Times.

This is so wonderful, I can't even.

And yes, that's Super Junior there in the picture - appearing in the site for the whole write-up.

That's a simple thing.

But it means a lot to me.

Immaculate

credits : onetwo

There were 11 Super Junior songs performed at SM Town New York.

But this just got me on my knees.

It wasn't the first time I heard this of course.

It wasn't the first time I saw them perform this - on video.

But it feels like heaven graced me with its presence because of the immaculate voices of these three supreme angels.

Geez.

KRY's harmony is undeniably surreal.

Like you'll think where they're getting those voices and techniques from.

And meehee... I love Wookie on that old rose suit. <3

For an ELF like Me...

It's funny to realize that Super Junior is doing sooooo well yet they do not get enough recognition they deserve. And it's not just because I'm an ELF that's why I'm saying this. It's because I see the truth happening.

Maybe it just has something to do with my choice of people to follow on Twitter, but if I may claim it... Super Junior is one of the primary factors why people go to SM Town. Call this absurd since yes, they're technically part of the company... But think about it... How many of the thousands of people there are ELF?

I don't know huh. But really, seeing the boys do SO well... I just can't help to feel prouder... that despite everything, they're still at it.

Someday...

Someday, I will go to all the places Super Junior has gone to with my kids, and tell them: "Once upon a time, the gods walked here."

Or I'll probably just tell that to my nieces and nephews coz I've got no plans of having a family..

I think?

NO ESCAPE

AND YOU SEE SOMEONE COMING TOWARDS YOU..

SOMEONE WHO PERSONIFIES THE WORD 'PERFECTION'.

SOMEONE SO ANGELIC... SOMEONE SO BEAUTIFUL TO MAKE YOUR HEART SKIP A BEAT.

SOMEONE... SOMEONE...

SOMEONE HOLD MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

ASLDKFJASLK;DJF;LAKSJD;LFKAJSL;DFKJA;SKLDFJ;LASKDJF;LAKSJDF;LKAJG;LAK SDF;LK JA;SLDKFJ;ASLKDF AS DFLK PARK JUNGSOO A

SDFKLAJS;DLFJKAS;DKF;KLAJSD;LKFJA;SKDF

ASDKFKLASJDHFKJASDKJF ASDF;ASLKJE;LIFJ;ALSKDJF

/DEAD

Sanity Blown Away

CREDITS AS TAGGED

sadflaksdlk;fja;slkdjf;laksjd;lfkja;slkdg;askljdf;oasdlkfj;askldjf;laksdj;flkajs;dlkfj;slkdjf;aklsdjf;lkasd;kf;woiejcmcn ;aisudf;awne;cjkl ;lskdjf;lasie ;aslkdjf;ow23k;clkasjd f;laksdj;lkcj;alsiejcfn;c ;asldjf;oaiwen;cl;lksj kajskldjf js;ldkf OMG ;laksjd;flkjaaiowekcmsa;ldkf. A:lskj;laksdjf;lasdc;awlkemc

as;dkfj;alskdjf

A;skfj;alkdciow;kldfas. :Askjciaw;ekcm;aslkdjfoweffc 23 la;skdjf;laksjdcoinawe 

K;jjkJS MS t;lkasdjfklasSJ 'askdjf;alskdjowe YESUNG.

wow.

뉴욕...

Take care, boys.

I know you'll do well.

But please, take care.

New York is such a big city. (I think?)

You might all get lost.

You might find it too overwhelming.

But I hope you enjoy.

Despite all the obvious favoritism.

Henry, guide them well.

Siwon, you're not going? *wink*

Jungsu, do what you want. You're old enough.

Zhoumi, get a grip off that credit card.

The Funny Thing Lies on Stereotyping

I felt a little nostalgic a few days ago and decided to rummage Youtube for songs of my most favorite OPM band : Parokya ni Edgar. They released a new album last year and it was my first time to listen to all of the songs.

With all the uncertainties that the local fandom is going through right now, I found great relief on Chito Miranda's voice. His effect on me is still the same as how it was when I was still in Grade 6. I guess, it'll never fade. 

But then, I don't know but lately, I've been noticing the fun of reading the comments below each video. I really find the varying opinions of people cute and diverse. It has always been exciting for me to know the different opinions of people, after all. 

But then I read something that pulled all the strings in me. I just had to answer it back not to defend my beliefs but to at least, make him realize the unfairness of his comments.

Here's our conversation:

(Trans under the cut)

The Celebrity

“

A celebrity…

A job where it’s confirmed from the front, behind…and beside…

In front, they have fans who love them, and celebrities are smiling while watching those fans.

Behind them, there are several arrows flying at and piercing their backs.

Unintentionally, the flying arrows sometimes even pierce the fans that are in front.

On both sides, there are masses of people are watching over their front and back.

Even if their back becomes covered in blood from the arrows piercing from behind, they must smile for the sake of the fans that cheer them on and support them.

If they smile and work hard till the end, the public who’s watching them on both sides will slowly move to the front.

However if they can’t handle it, and if they’re upsetted a little, (the public) moves to the back and even shoots arrows.

Celebrities don’t know how many people are behind them, or what kind of people or what reason they have for shooting the arrows.

They’re not allowed to turn around and find out either.

Because if they turn around, the fans in the front will become completely shocked when they see the arrows that pierced their back, and the moment they turn, their entire body will be struck with arrows…

No one knows what kind of people are shooting the arrows, what kind of expression they have, or what thoughts run through their minds as they shoot the arrows.

It’s just that they simply enjoy the act itself, and they like it if new celebrities (especially ones with lots of past personal life) come out.

Celebrities…

They live on stage and die on the internet…a job where it’s confirmed from front, back and side…

……that is a celebrity.

”

Eunhyuk/Lee Hyuk Jae (Super Junior) (i didn't translate this. i just found this on tumblr again and posted it here. I think this was written a year ago on Hyuk's Cyworld? You know, when he has no Twitter yet?)

Lesson Learned.

Alam ko na apektado tayong lahat sa mga tweets at Facebook statuses nina Ms. Happee at Sir Vernon. Nakakapikon naman kasi talaga yung nangyari. Hindi lang sa part ng PULP kundi para na din dun sa mga nanuod talaga. Totoo na ang unang tingin ko is naging NINGAS KUGON na naman yung marami. Like ng like pero hanggang plano lang pala. Ang unang dating sakin, hanggang salita lang yung mga nagsabing gusto nila ng SS3 3D dito sa Pinas.

Totoo, matinding pressure yung nanggagaling sa organizers. Iba yung dating ng tweets. Iba yung epekto. Kung debate to at nirebutt sila, Ad Misericordiam at Ad Baculum na ang nako-commit nila.

Pero BUSINESS IS BUSINESS. And hindi ako sumisipsip, pero sabi nga ni Apple, may karapatang magalit si Vernon Go dahil siya yung nagbayad ng lahat.

Although I can’t be sure… Mula SS2 hanggang SS3, pati itong SS3 3D… Hindi naman tayo sigurado kung walang nawalang pera sa PULP. I mean, oo, jampacked ang Araneta pero hindi natin kasi nakita na ang dami pa ring black holes. Kaya hindi natin alam kung talaga bang kumita ang PULP sa concerts na yon, o sadyang pinagbigyan lang tayo dahil gusto nating makapunta ang SJ dito.

Isa pa, alam na natin even before the album launch na magkakaroon ng provincial screenings. Alam nating kailangan nating mag-ipon, dahil hindi pa man naaannounce ang provinces, alam na natin na meron non.

Pero nung na-release ang dates at venues, nag-flop. Sinong di maiinis? Kung naglabas ka ng milyon para sa events na yun, dahil naniwala kang may market? Kung umasa ka na malaki ang chances na magka-SS4 dito dahil naniwala ka ring may market?

Oo, andun nako sa magkaiba yung dalawang events. Kung pwede lang talagang ipagpilitan sa PULP na kung ipupush-thru ang SS4 Manila at last stop, matutuwa ang Department of Tourism satin dahil sa dami ng international fans sigurado.. gagawin ko eh. Kaso pano nila gagawin ang isang bagay, kung wala silang capital para don?

Kung ganon man ang tweets nila, hindi ba parang marketing strategy lang naman yun? Nakakapikon, oo. Pero kasi, pwedeng challenge yun e.

Kaya hindi ko masisisi ang PULP kung ganon ang nirerelease nilang statements. At kahit nasaktan ako sa mga sinabi ni Vernon Go, hindi ko kayang magalit…

Dahil ginawa ko din yon.

Yes, I am guilty as charged. I played the blame game. Andami kong sinabi para i-pressure ang mga taong hindi nanood sa Manila at mga taong manonood palang sa Davao, Ilo-Ilo, at Pampanga.

Pero nung nag-reply sa kin si Lee at tinapat akong nakakairita na, naisip ko kung gano katinding pressure yung idinagdag ko sa kanila. Siguro dahil parang kapatid ko na yung mga taga-Davao kaya ako naapektuhan ng husto sa ginawa ko. Ang selfish ko pala. Dun ko naisip na walang pwedeng sisihin kundi yung pagkakataon.

Hindi madali magproduce ng 1,000. Lalo pa't kakatapos lang ng 5jib album launch dito sa Pinas at may GDA tayong inilalaban. Tapos sembreak pa. Naiintindihan ko na hindi lahat ng fans sa Pinas, may trabaho.

Parehong side, may mali. Ako (or kami kung may nakakarelate man sakin), dahil dumagdag ako sa pressure at itinaas ko ang sarili ko; at yung mga hindi pa nanunuod dahil hindi nila inisip yung responsibility na pwedeng dalhin nung pag-Like. 

Kung may napressure man, sorry. It's just that we're losing it already. Ewan ko sa ibang nagsasabing hindi na dapat pumunta ang SJ dito dahil dalawang beses na silang pumunta (SORRY, SA MGA TAONG TO KASI, WALA TALAGA HO AKONG PASENSYA), pero alam naman ng marami kung bakit kailangan natin ang SS4 Manila. Hindi lang para satin, kundi para sa ibang international ELF din na Pilipinas lang yung chance para mapanuod ang SJ....

Tapusin na natin yung blame game. Nakakita ako ng nagsosorry kanina on Twitter. Kaya eto, nagsosorry din ako. Dalawa lang kaming nag-take ng first step to reconciliation. Sana we speak for the majority. Tama na yung sisihan. Tama na yung gulo.

Ang pressure galing sa PULP, andyan lang yan. Mabigat, SUPER BIGAT.

But the best way to handle it eh yung pare-pareho nating dalhin. Walang iwanan sa ere. Let’s come united.

Nonetheless, hindi ko sasabihin na okay lang na hindi bumili ng tickets for SS3 3D. Kung kaya naman kasi, gawan natin ng paraan. For example, kung may tig-200 kayo to spare, pagsama-samahin tapos mamili ng isang pwedeng manuod. O kaya, bumili pero ibenta ng mas mababa. (I know these suggestions are crazy, pero it’s the best thing we could do.)

Tapos eto: Kung nag-iipon kayo for SS4 Manila, eh parang awa niyo na... Bawasan niyo yung ipon niyo dahil hindi mangyayari yung pinag-iipunan niyo kung hindi tayo magsasucceed sa SS3 3D.

Ngayon, kung hindi talaga kakayanin na makapanuod kayo, please ask other people to watch. Kung may kaibigan kayo na pera na hindi manunuod dahil hindi kayo kasama, please, itulak niyo sa sinehan. hahaha!

May ilang araw pa tayo to push things through. It's a do-or-die situation. Kayanin natin… then whatever happens, at least, we can say that we did our best at hindi tayo nag-away away diba?

So ayun. J Sana naliwanagan lahat. J

Here Comes the Inconsistencies...

It was wrong... that tweet.

I know it sounded so obtrusive.

I, myself, got affected too.

It was a statement that questioned our love.

It was a statement that put us all to jeopardy, too.

It was a statement that raised all our eyebrows...

and challenged our egos to prove otherwise.

Everything that was said as reply to that tweet, I fully support.

And I mean it. 

But please...

All these retaliations could cut that almost-invisible thread that connects us to the reality of our dream. 

I don't know with all of you.

But if bearing the pain and just focusing on what we have to do would mean hope for that concert to be held here,

I will risk it all.

Let's not lose the only chance we've got.

We've got no other choices.

Please.

Is the Fire Really Dying?

NOT FOR ME.

Not for my friends.

It turned out depressing. It's not supposed to be like this.

But due to inconsistencies, this happened.

Now a lot of people are asking:

IS THE FIRE REALLY DYING?

NEVER FOR ME.

Never for my friends.

It's a do-or-die situation now.

I am afraid.

No Other Love.

@special1004 (I'm) always working hard in life like tomorrow is the last day! My profession only needs love from the fans and the public. There's no greater happiness than that and I don't want other love either.

(TRANS by: AngeLeeteuk)

There is no other love that could equate the love of ELF for Super Junior, leader. I couldn't fully understand what you are trying to say but there are things which I want to believe, especially that there are a lot of things happening right now. 

But whatever happens, I know that you know and you see the effort of millions of fans to love you, all the way.

Just like you, we'll be supporting you each day of our lives like we're going to die tomorrow. We will be standing behind you - blocking all arrows pointed at you and taking all bullets fired at you. We will be your protection so you can walk in this life, unhurt. 

The love that you deserve, we will give it to you.

Whenever big people will bring you down, we will raise you all up using our small hands.

We will be here. We will always be here.

#ThankYouSJ

I can do a litany of reasons to thank you.

But I guess it will just some up to these:

Thank you, Super Junior, for giving me the life I've always wanted.

Thank you, Super Junior... for everything.

My Opinion on SJ's Success

Admit it or not: Most of us, international fans [who the company never would have believed to exist], will not discover Super Junior if not for their videos uploaded on Youtube. And in my honest opinion, this site played a greater role in providing exposure to the boys.

Come to think of it... Just because the company uploaded the videos on Youtube means they really intended to promote the artist internationally. Anyway, it has been admitted that another group was designated for that. It has also been admitted that the boys were formed out of sheer pity.

Look, the interview sounded so appalling to me. For me, it was like: the company was sorry for them since the boys shed tears, blood, and sweat; that's why they let them debut. And since they 'helped' them, they are now the biggest KPOP group in Europe, Thailand and South America.

ㅅㅂ. It just doesn't sound right.

That's why...

THANK YOU, YOUTUBE, FOR BEING THE GREATEST FACTOR WHY SUPER JUNIOR IS NOW CONSIDERED AS ONE OF THE BEST GROUPS IN THE WORLD.

It's about time that we give due credits to this one site which truly paved way to Super Junior's recognition.

What are we going to do without it?

The SS3 3D Experience

After attending two screenings... no, it is still not enough for me to get over the hype of seeing Super Junior on the big screen, in 3D. Seeing them twice just wouldn't satisfy me from wanting to see them again. I don't care if it's just the same thing all over again; because the truth is: there will always be something to surprise me in there. 


You see, there are ten boys running around the stage. When I look at one member, I don't see the others. So I notice the crazy/lovely/sweet/heartwarming things that the member I have my eyes on does and I don't see what the others do. This is the reason why I think I'll never really get tired of seeing the same film over and over again. I am presented with new things to see. Unless I get to watch SS3 3D ten times, then perhaps, I could be satisfied.

I'm telling the truth. It's not just because I want to increase the sales so that I may be assured of a Super Show 4 in Manila. I mean this review. If only I have Php10,000 to shed, I would readily allot it for more screenings.

Maybe, people are saying that I have gone insane. While I was standing at the cinema lobby while waiting for my friend to bring me my ticket, I have actually heard some hurtful comments from random people toward the kind of reception this SS3 3D is receiving. Of course, I got affected. But you know what, everything they said  just lost sense to me when the show started.

Because SS3 3D reminded me that I know my purpose. I know why I'm here. And I know that I can do what I want to do because there is something that has to be done for the boys who do everything they can for all of us.

Sorry but I wouldn't really spill whatever that's in there; although it is an open secret that it is SS3 Seoul. You all should have to watch it for yourselves. I tell you, even though it's like one and a half hour only, it's definitely one exciting feat. Everything that you're gonna see there are definitely spazz-worthy, and you will be given more reasons to fully immerse yourselves on this very, very beautiful fandom.

SS3 3D is one of the best things that happened in my life. Seriously. If not for it, I wouldn't have known how it feels to see them from a perspective of a 'member'. I know it's an exaggeration and it's so metaphorical. But on SS3 3D, I felt like I was sitting right there at the stage and seeing them just walking around and passing me by. I felt like a part of the real party. It felt so close... to perfect.

I am not flaunting here. But i think more SS3 3D experiences is necessary for me to get over it. And I hope and I pray that you are all feeling the same..

Sungmin's zipper, pray for me.

Siwon's abs, guide me.

Heechul's stares, show me the light.

Jungsu's fangirl, I worship you.

I Would Really Appreciate...

...if you stop making a fool out of us.. 

EACH FUCKING TIME.

It's not recognition of being the NUMBER 1 that we're after. What we want is for the boys to get WHAT THEY TRULY DESERVE.

Somehow, I am feeling better knowing that many people are now realizing how much effort you put just to bring our boys down. Anybody who would say that it's not like that surely doesn't know what he's saying. 

You are obviously biased.

And I'm not saying this just because I favor a group.

I am saying this because I am one of the millions who patronize your works just to help the people you disregard survive.

Fuck you, seriously. Fuck you.

FANDOM: Admiration? Lifestyle.

I thought my decision was final. 3 days before SS3 3D premiere, I have decided not to attend the event anymore - let the opportunity to participate in the kick-off of a spectacular pass me by and just let go of the money I used to buy the ticket. 30 minutes before the registration, I was still at home, busy with work and asking people on Twitter and Facebook if they want to watch it for free.

It was kinda impulsive. I was really depending on my mood. But when the clock stroke 6, I started trembling. Then when I knew it, I was already on my way to Gateway.

That was when I realize that the reason why the nobody got the ticket is because it was really for me.

It was 7:45PM, I was still in Monumento. Screening starts at 8. I was stuck in traffic and was already consoling myself that come what may, at least, I tried. But when the clock ticked 8PM, I got off the bus, braved the night, and took a taxi to the venue.

Miraculously, I got there in time. And as I took my seat, I asked myself...

"What would I not do for Super Junior?"


The night was - as expected - awesome, and it turned more special because of one hug. It was definitely worth it.

Come to think about it. Everything about SJ to me is no longer about who they are. Unconsciously, all these have become about what they are. Yes, this fandom has actually become a lifestyle to me.

Many would find this funny and crazy. But it's because not many understand. I have always been saying how much they changed my life. But I guess, I'll have to talk more about how much willing I am to let them change me more.

If only I could stop time... If only I could.

For SS4 Manila: ALL IN.

This is great risk, if you will all just understand.

Shedding probably hundreds of thousands for something which worth we all know.

I know, PULP meant business. But if they do not, what will that make of us, Philippine ELF? We depend on PULP for SS4. We depend on their ability. We depend on their decision...

so that we may have Super Show 4 Manila.

You know, it's not like we're asking everyone of you to truly spend your fortunes on this.

It's just that this means hard work. I know most fans in the Philippines are students; but still, many are employed.

If we have the money, I guess it'll be okay to spend, right?

This is actually crucial.

Especially with the threat and expenses the soon-unfolding GDA brings. 

But as Philippine ELF, we all know that we should do this TOO.
(Imagine ELFs' sacrifices, haters. IMAGINE.)

I know I sound so self-centered considering the fact that this is Super Junior yet again who we're trying to get to the Philippines but if only you would step into our shoes, you would understand why we're doing everything we can to make it happen again, even for the last time.

We campaign for the success of this SS3 3D to bring them here again. That's a fact. We take all chances. We do all measures. Even uncertain...

Most of the time, we claim that it's because we want to see them. But you know, a part of this is because... 

we want THEM to see US.

And as much as I do not want to sound so nagging and miserable, this is one way of proving SM Entertainment that our boys aren't trashes.. It's not like we're blind. It's not like we cannot see what they're trying to do. 

It is undeniable that SJ is aging, but it doesn't make them any less... 

But their company doesn't see it. 

So it is us who should show them that.

So those in Manila, we've got lots of screenings to visit. Check Ms. Happee's page for it. For those in provinces, you can actually breathe well since there'd be no cancellations even if you wouldn't get it sold out. Nonetheless, bear in mind that if you don't meet the quota, PULP will lose money. And if they don't have money, SS4 will impossible.

That's the formula for the problem we have right now.

Now, it's up to us whether we solve it or we leave it blank.

...

With them... Again.

Of course, you're everywhere.

With all the movie launches, album promotions, TV guestings, and more; of course, you're just there - doing your thing which you said you love doing the most. 

You're free. And I know that you're happy. 

What I just wish is that I become happy for you as well.

Because at the moment, it seems impossible. 

Because truth is, I miss you so much that it hurts.

I know this feeling is just triggered by a simple tumblr entry; but perhaps, that's the only thing that I've been waiting for. 

Probably, my heart is just waiting for something to its light its weak and then it'll pour out all emotions it has been keeping for so long.

Now that the 6th anniversary of the boys is coming and a major project by a major fansite will be held, it just hurts not to see your name on it anymore. The usual 13 becomes 12 and I couldn't really explain the emotions. A part of me is violently asking why your name was omitted, but a part of me is also saying that that's how it supposed to be.

Obviously, I am left in the middle of nowhere and my heart is torn. I don't know what to feel anymore.

Just recently, a news broke out saying you've withdrawn the lawsuit against your former company. And once again, you got me into a rollercoaster ride. But since it came from a very doubtful source, I couldn't be sure.  Nonetheless, should I really wish it to be true?

Fuck. I don't know what's happening with me.

I just want to see you... with them... again. 

Happy Birthday, Henry ♥

Dear Henry,

I know I've gone way too delusional that I even came up with a letter for you. I know you wouldn't even read this, but in case you would find interest on this crappy letter, I just want to tell you that on your 22nd birthday, I wish you nothing but the best.

How long has it been when you first started living the complicated 'idol-life'? I wasn't beside you when you did. I think I don't even know Super Junior yet that time. But you see, for like three serious years in this fandom, I think I can say that I never once doubted on you.

Being an idol in South Korea must have been the most difficult thing in your life. Until now, my blood boils when I remember all the hurtful remarks and stupid treatments many have given you. You may just hide it with your smiles but your eyes speak of pain and sadness at times. Sometimes, I even feel guilty that we couldn't do anything to stop those people; that we couldn't do anything to really protect you.

Except for one thing: support you all the way.

For the past years, I saw you struggle through everything. And you know what? You make me proud with everything you do. The musical genius in you is like forever awesome and I will always look up to your ability to write good and great songs. And of course, who would even forget the way you play the violin. You will always be my violin master, babe.

Now that you've turned 22, I will pray to God that He keeps you protected and blessed. And I also pray that He continuously provide you with more reasons to keep those cheeks fluffy with smiles. I also hope that your family will also receive so much blessings. (Even if they have so much already since they have you)

Henry, I will forever support you. I may not be a devoted string, but I love you enough to forever keep the promise that as I believe on the 13, I will protect the 15.

Thank you for existing, Henry. One smile and you will give us the best birthday blowout this year.
I love you, kid. ^^

Perfect Day Starter~

I don't know if this came from a fan or from Ming's blog, or Twitter, or wherever. But you see, this has become like the perfect day starter for me.

I woke up grumpy. Last night's activity and rain made me feel so drowsy even in my sleep. I slept straight without even dreaming (or so I think?) then at the morning, I was really hoping that time will not go on fast so that I could have more chance to sleep.

But when I saw this picture, everything just lightened up. xD

Seeing Ming and Jungsoo (MY TOP TWO BIASES!) cuddling like this makes me see things in a beautiful light. I do not ship Sungmin with anyone but Kyuhyun - this has to be set straight - but I just love seeing Jungsu become an older brother to a cute, little baby that is Sungmin... even when just sleeping.

There are no explanations how I can think of sunflowers, rainbows and unicorns when I look at the picture... but this is just too special. :)

Or maybe because it's lovely to see them sleep, when I know that they're so busy nowadays. Don't you think? haha!

With all Honesty...

I think that by seeing the reactions of my friends on Twitter about JS's WGM with Kang Sora, I can get by watching the show. I think I'll be able to tolerate it and be authentically happy for him that he now has a wife (though just on-screen).

But not now.

Maybe everything's still too fragile.

And it will probably take some time before I finally muster the courage to see Jungsu going crazy over his wife.

HAHAHAHAHA

Lucky!

For my version B, I caught a rare pokemon. I got a Heechul photocard.

And thanks to my cousin's being meddlesome, I learned that the pokemon I got has a twin.

Thus, I have two Heechul from one album. ^o^

Delusional as I may be, I just felt a little comforted now that I am so worried about Jungsu. And knowing that it's Heechul again who made me feel better, I want to think that Heenim's telling me to just let things be because Jungsu will be fine.

This is crazy, but maybe, I should just think that way.

Therefore, thank you Heenim... once again.

How Should I React to This?

1. Super Junior leader. (now on promotion)
2. Sukira Kiss the Radio DJ
3. Strong Heart's Teukigayo leader
4. Star King MC
5. Hello Baby Father
6. WGM

These are the things that keep Jungsu busy at the moment; and these are only the ones I know of. Aside from these, he's a brother to Inyoung and the boys. He's also a son to his parents, a friend to his friends. 

How Jungsu gets to juggle all these and make sure he gets to handle the tight schedule, I wouldn't know. Maybe he's Superman, for real.

But obviously, he's not.

That's why according to some fanaccounts, he stumbled off the stage after recording the last stage for Music Core this afternoon, and now he's receiving IV treatments in an emergency room in a hospital in South Korea and the doctors apparently advised him to rest for even just 24hours. 

Now how should I react to this?

I knew beforehand that this is going to happen. And not that I'm right... but it's just that I tried to believe that this will not occur. But it did. Now I'm freaking worried.

I am overreacting. I know Jungsu wouldn't want to worry us all. I know I am just a fan and my worries will do nothing to lessen the burden Jungsu's feeling right now. 

But tell me, how can I appease myself when I know that even after Jungsu gets discharged from the hospital, he will still choose to continue everything? 

ㅠㅠ

The Army Thing

So I have just received my Version B album and only now did I pay full attention to their concept:

ARMY

(although Jungsu's attire wouldn't count for me. hehe.)

First surprise: I got a Heechul photocard and that's interesting for me. To think that not many I know got a Heechul, I considered myself catching a rare pokemon. :) That's like a relief because I was afraid that I will get a Siwon. HAHA! (No, I don't have anything against Siwon. ^^)

Then as I was on my way home, I looked at the album again and heaved a deep sigh. Because once again, the reality knocked me down that 5jib is really the last album of Super Junior before they go to the army. That's like just a moment of WTF again with me.

I knew long after Heechul's photo was released that this is really about his enlistment to the army. But I realized that Yesung wore the same design, only of different color and that it's a jacket; Siwon has that Rambo style; Ming has the word 'ARMY' written on his shirt; and many more to remind me that a dreaded goodbye is soon to happen.

I really have no intention of going on a drama marathon tonight but that late realization plus the weight of Jungsu's WGM turning into an undeniable reality, my mood really went down tonight. :(

Maybe I'm just in-denial. I know that this feeling will go away in a while; but it just sucks that I have to feel so vulnerable about these things.

This is really so contradicting of me since I always boast that I am a mature fan and that whatever the boys will do, I will support...

But you know, that's not always the case.

REPOST: A Call to All ELF in the World.

It’s not always that one finds the drive to live and believe like there’s no tomorrow. It’s not everyday that one think it’s necessary to be positive. After all, life ain’t easy. But as some gives up, some strives harder – not for their own satisfaction  but for the people who are depending on them for joy.

Jungsoo, Kyuhyun and Heenim. They are all examples of people who, despite their painful past, are doing everything they can to continuously show the fans a good image and to show that they love us so much, they’d be willing to take all the risk to make us happy.

Their physical injuries are not secrets to us. We know what happened. They got involved in car accidents. Heenim’s leg was broken that he had to bed-rest for months, and just so he would still appear good on TV,

he had to bite his tongue until it bleed so as not to be unconscious. Jungsoo was showered with shattered pieces of glass requiring 170+ stitches on his back and face, and the worst of all, Kyuhyun, who had to spend three months at the ICU, with fractured bones and injured lungs, and couldn’t speak for weeks due to trauma.

What transpired on 2006 and 2007 were not pranks. Those were real accidents which almost took the lives of three of our precious boys.

After some years, look at them now. For the 4th album, Jungsoo tried hard to improve his body. Heenim is participating on all promotional activities, and Kyuhyun is with the dancing group now. All of them are working hard, disregarding their physical conditions.

I hope it’s not just me who’s seeing this but Jungsoo, Heenim, Kyuhyun and the rest of the 10 members are doing everything they can to fill the void left by Kangin, Kibum and Hangeng. They’re working hard for us not to think that there’s something missing.

I wish everyone would appreciate all the efforts the boys exert. Please. Let’s stop demanding for what isn’t there, but cherish what we still

have. I know that convincing ourselves that it’s easy is the most difficult thing ever, but we have to think about the boys. We flaunt and say we’re hurting and we want SJ back together, but have we ever thought about how the boys feel on this?

Sometimes, we become too selfish that we focus on our own welfare alone.

We become too insensitive that we fail to protect Super Junior. We forget that when we hurt about these issues, they’re hurting double.

Because it’s them who are real brothers. It’s them who have stuck together for so many years. It’s them who know each other so well. It’s them who are members of Super Junior.

I’m not trying to build a wall between ELF and Super Junior. I’m merely stating my opinions. My point here is that when we cry, they cry harder. But still they work hard to show us the positive side of things. All we have to do is look at it and appreciate.

This is a call. Now is the time when the boys need us the most. Ten left, and so what? They’re still Super Junior and they will forever be, no matter what.

Honestly, I get emotional everytime I see the three perform. I do not want their efforts to go to waste. I do not want to disappoint my boys because they never do that to me. Especially Jungsoo, who I believe shoulders on himself, all the burdens.. because he’s the leader.

So let’s show much love to them. Promote the songs, introduce them to your friends, do trial listening (it’s confirmed to count on registered accounts), buy the albums, and watch their concerts. And mostly, believe in them.

Because these are the only things that we can do to make them feel appreciated. Let’s bring them again to number 1. Because that’s where they should be. Because that is their destiny.