With them... Again.

Of course, you're everywhere.

With all the movie launches, album promotions, TV guestings, and more; of course, you're just there - doing your thing which you said you love doing the most. 

You're free. And I know that you're happy. 

What I just wish is that I become happy for you as well.

Because at the moment, it seems impossible. 

Because truth is, I miss you so much that it hurts.

I know this feeling is just triggered by a simple tumblr entry; but perhaps, that's the only thing that I've been waiting for. 

Probably, my heart is just waiting for something to its light its weak and then it'll pour out all emotions it has been keeping for so long.

Now that the 6th anniversary of the boys is coming and a major project by a major fansite will be held, it just hurts not to see your name on it anymore. The usual 13 becomes 12 and I couldn't really explain the emotions. A part of me is violently asking why your name was omitted, but a part of me is also saying that that's how it supposed to be.

Obviously, I am left in the middle of nowhere and my heart is torn. I don't know what to feel anymore.

Just recently, a news broke out saying you've withdrawn the lawsuit against your former company. And once again, you got me into a rollercoaster ride. But since it came from a very doubtful source, I couldn't be sure.  Nonetheless, should I really wish it to be true?

Fuck. I don't know what's happening with me.

I just want to see you... with them... again.