The first time I saw the pictures of Heechul on SS3 Bangkok, I tried to shrug the emotions off. I kept telling myself that of course, it’s normal because it’s what everyone wants after all. Heenim held a picture of Hanchul and he showed it off to the Thai ELF, and yeah, that’s normal.
Well, at least that’s what I tried to believe in.
But now that it has finally sank in, I suddenly felt the grief and longing. I know Geng’s just there, busy with other things he said he really wanted to do. But I really just miss him with SJ. More, I really miss him with Heenim.
HanChul has been my OTP ever since the day I accepted that SJ has couples. HanChul has showed me the best sides of Heenim and Hangeng. Through this pairing, I got to understand the meaning of true brotherly love and friendship.
And now it just sucks to realize that I might never get to see them again together.
Hangeng’s officially out of SJ, and we all know that. Heenim kept his silence and I’m yet to hear from him.
Somehow, I know both are hurting; but I can’t help but think that it’s Hee who is hurting more. Being left alone clueless and without any words is the worst feeling one could ever have. I know it.
Lost, I am, again. I really just miss my OTP. I really just want to see them on stage together again. I just want to see them both dancing and singing and hugging each other. I really need them back as one.
But what can I do? After all, I am just a fan.
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