Monday, January 6, 2014


I was watching KBS when I saw tweets of people telling Jungsu to stay strong. Instinctively, my heart grew worried, knowing that something bad happened. I thought there was a new issue. I thought he was caught up in a scandal. But eventually, I learned that his father and grandparents were killed in a car crash just a few hours ago.

Reality was worse than my thoughts, obviously.

I have lost track of Jungsu, I know and I admit that. But being his fan for years, I have known that he is really the person who values his family so much. He had always loved his grandparents. Also, I know there were differences between him and his dad before, but friends informed me that they have already settled everything and were making up for every opportunities they have lost in the past, despite Jungsu being in the military.

It was already painful to know that he, his mom and his sister had lost three family members in one night; but it is even more painful to know that he didn't even get to say goodbye. Serving the military as a regular soldier, we all know he couldn't just go home anytime he wanted to. He was away from his family when the accident happened.

I can hardly imagine how painful it is now for him.

I'm tracking the news via Twitter and tears were freefalling; especially when Donghae was mentioned. Before the younger member's dad died years ago, he asked Teuk to take care of his son; and we all have become witnesses to how the leader fulfilled and fulfills his promise.

Now, it's Donghae's turn to take care of his hyung.

Another thing that made me totally emotional is that people mentioned the accident from 2007. God knows how much that piece of memory affects me; and now that I am reminded of it once again, I can't help but cry.

When the accident happened, it's Kyuhyun who almost died. Teuk, then severely injured because of the shattered pieces of glass that pierced through his back and face, kept on murmuring his name as he was carried to the ambulance through a stretcher.

I know I'm kinda overthinking things again; but how sure are we that those memories won't resurface the moment they all gather together?

And how sure are we that those memories won't add up to the pain that Jungsu and his family is feeling right now?

God, I just want to hug Jungsu even in my dreams. Please, please let him know that everyone's coming together to pray for the eternal repose of his father and grandparents. And I know it would console him to know that everyone from the past and present is giving him, his mom and Inyoung, support.

Park Yongin abeonim, halmoni, haraboji.... Rest in peace.