Saturday, November 24, 2012

Always the Leader

To. My lovely Fans! My everything is in the ELF’s two eyes…
I’m Super Junior’s leader Leeteuk!! Ah… I’m the 85th recruit, Park Jung Soo right now!! How are all of you? I’ve gone past Euijungboo and I’m now at the White Horse RTC (Recruit Training center) and having a good time with fellow soldiers that are 10, 11 years younger than me!
I’ve gone from being Super Junior’s leader to now being the leader in my squadron as a recruit. Even here, I’m feeling a lot of popularity. ^^
Before I came here, I was really nervous and scared, but now that I’m actually here I’ve realized that it’s really nothing compared to what I did before. ^^
Thank you so much for the hand written letters and the internet letters! I read every letter clearly here and sometimes I even tear up. Thank you.
I’m just always thankful. I had the most people come when I enlisted? You’re really the best!! I was supposed to take care of our 7th anniversary and the college entrance exams, so I’m sorry. As I work here, do you know that I miss you even more? I miss being on the World Tour with the other members and seeing the blue glowsticks and hearing all the cheers.
Ah! The DVD that we released in Japan was 1st! And ‘Boys in City‘ and there are a lot of other things that you can see me in, so please look forward to it!! I hope everyone can smile brightly through the end of the year awards and conclude everything nicely! I miss, miss, miss you and I really really really really really want to see you guys…. You all have to be happy and healthy! There is a saying that goes, ‘You don’t laugh because you’re happy, but you’re happy because you laugh. So everyone, take care of yourself!!
ELF!! I love you…
From leader Teuk!! ^^
TRANS: Allkpop
Once the leader, always the leader.
Even when in the army, he really makes sure that he gets to do his responsibility as Super Junior's leader. Still helping with the promotions despite being in service.
I love you too, babe. 
Sehun's trying to kill me. Come back soon.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Give Love on HenMi Day!

I've always wanted to go to a charity this year. Actually, I wanted to visit Jolito (Jungsu's son on World Vision) but since he lives in Misamis Oriental (or Occidental?), I couldn't see him. I've planned to visit Bethany too, but some things just came up and I wasn't able to plan it well.

That is why I was totally elated when I learned that some of my friends actually planned something charitable this Christmas! It's the GIVE LOVE ON HENMI DAY!!!!

This charity event is organized by HoneysPH and StringswithHenry. Both are included in the WeLoveSJFamily so I'm really so proud at the moment. I'm actually excited.

December 8, 2012
Bahay Kalinga, Valenzuela City

For information, please visit the event's 


Monday, November 19, 2012

The Inevitable Missing

Last night, I woke up at an ungodly hour to reprimand my brother. As I was trying to go back to sleep, an unexpected thought occurred to me - Kim Heechul and the army.

I know. It's funny how the cat invaded my thoughts when I'm supposed to think about Park Jungsu being there too. But as you see, my mind is thoroughly unpredictable and uncontrollable.

I miss the fact that he's just a few tweets away (although he wouldn't reply). I miss his very brutal yet humorous attitude. I miss seeing his pictures. I miss hearing him speak. I miss seeing him smile and flash his gums. I miss his randomness.

I miss Kim Heechul

A year had passed indeed and another year is set to be concluded. Time flies fast, yes? And then we'll have him back again. I'm really excited.

At the moment, images of Heechul is SS2 Manila, SS3 Manila, and everywhere else keep on appearing in my mind. It's like I don't just miss him. It's like I'm being reprimanded, too - the way I did to my brother. I'm being too immersed in my real life that I haven't had enough time to allot for them.

That's kinda big deal, actually.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The 7th Year...

So it's finally the 7th year anniversary.

I don't want to sound less interested but God knows I don't want to sound so trying hard either. It's November 6 and as much as I want to feel elated, I have to admit that I can't force a part of me into it.

Because this year, it's just so different for me. Because you see, the absence of the leader is taking ts toll on me.

I purposefully did not update myself about his enlistment. I purposefully did not intend to do anything unlike when Hee and Kangin enlisted. I purposefully pretended like I didn't care because I can't afford to be a complete mess. Things in my real life had gone out of hand that moment too and I have a family to support, so if I break down, I wouldn't be able to work and that would mean no money to provide for my loved ones.

But I guess, a day of nursing the pain of Jungsu's absence wouldn't damage me that much.

It's almost a week and for that whole span of time, I felt restless and quite incomplete. Perhaps, it really has something to do with my real lovelife but why would I deny that this whole army ordeal contributes too? I always run to Jungsu whenever I feel like a trash in the real world because although he doesn't know me, I know that he values me as his fan.

But obviously, he's temporarily gone.

And now it's the 7th anniversary and I should be happy. But as I said, I can't be fully happy when someone so special is out there. I know it's just the same when Heechul and Kangin left for enlistment, but there lies the great difference that Park Jungsu is Leeteuk, and Leeteuk is my bias.

Nonetheless, I wish the other members a thousand congratulations. It has been seven years, five of which I've been with them. Kangin's back and Heechul's coming back soon. While I can't even fathom why these things wouldn't pacify my incompleteness, I still hope that everybody would take the time to celebrate one of the best moments of our lives as ELF. It's not everyday (although it feels like that most of the time) that the group turns seven anyway.

So yeah, thank you Super Junior for the seven years of joy and happiness, of sorrow and tears, of hellos and goodbyes, of love and just love. Thank you for completing our lives and for allowing us to somehow be part of yours. What we have will never be replaced, no matter how many times we look toward the directions leading away from the other. Because in the end, our paths will still meet because since the very beginning, our destinies are intertwined as this.

I love you, guys. Happy anniversary!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

It's Been a Good Year...

Time flew fast.

Who would have thought that it has already been a year since I started the project for Park Jungsu?
I, myself, never thought I could last that long.

But I guess the motivation stayed and I'm just glad to have been part of World Vision for a year now. It feels good to know that Jolito, Jungsu's foster kid, is enjoying his childhood and is able to go to school because of the contribution I send monthly. 

No, I'm not trying to flaunt.
I just want you all to know how fulfilling it is so you may do it as well.

Jungsu's enlisting to the army in a few days.
And I wish that when he gets back with us after two long years, he would know that someone has managed to live a better life because of him. 

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Anti-Cybercrime Law and Its Effects on Pinoy KPOP Fans

October 2, 2012, the Philippine internet community had gone black in protest to the highly-abhorred Republic Act 10175 or what is commonly known as the Cybercrime Prevention Law. Most profile pictures and display pictures on Facebook, Twitter, and other social networking sites displayed a blank black image that symbolizes the oppression of the Philippine government to freedom of speech and expression.  Comments like this (████████████████████████. [ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛ ʙʟᴏᴄᴋᴇᴅ.] (ʀᴀ ɴᴏ. 10175) ) became a normal sight that people who didn't know began to wonder if it was a mere glitch - only to find out that this is most likely what would happen should the law be implemented. 

Indeed, the protest had gone viral. Yet the government didn't listen. The Supreme Court did not release a Temporary Restraining Order for the reason that five justices were absent today. Despite the rampant opposition of millions of Filipino netizens, this Anti-Cybercrime Law will take effect tomorrow, October 3, 2012.

Understanding RA 10175

First and foremost, I would like to say that I support some clauses of the Anti-Cybercrime Law. I support the fact that it would put a stop to child pornography and identity theft. But I think there are more to it that I stand against than back up. 

For more details, read the provisions here

The Downside

I consider it unconstitutional as certain provisions directly violates Article III Section 4 that states "No law shall be passed abridging the freedom of speech, of expression, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble and petition the government for redress of grievances." Beginning tomorrow, we are no longer allowed to express our opinions towards things which we believe are not right. Beginning tomorrow, we are gagged and our freedom to speak our minds will be taken away from us. This is a clear violation of human rights. Even the United Nations believes so.

This Anti-Cybercrime Law is also impractical. As Paul Artadi had pointed out, how can the government assure internet security when they can't even secure their websites? It makes sense, right? Plus violation of law will land people in prison for 12 years or a fine of one million pesos. That is completely ridiculous as opposed to the 4 years of prison and lesser fines which are the maximum penalty for those who committed libel on print.

And as how EVERYBODY had been saying since day one, there are far more important issues to prioritize than internet regulations. We are in dire need of solutions to unemployment, poverty and hunger, and lack of education. We are still on fighting battles concerning Reproductive Health and are waiting for confirmation about the Freedom to Information, and such. But hey, look! The government had prioritized this. Why? Because they wanted to get away from the possible black propagandas and criticism that they could receive during the campaign period? Who knows.

I am yet to talk about the beneficiality or non-beneficiality of this law as this covers both sides. It is obviously beneficial to those government officials who hide behind their power to bring people to jail because they are coward enough to face the fact that they are public entities who are subjected to everyday criticism. But it is downright non-beneficial to people who believe that Freedom of Expression, of Speech, and of the Press are what basically constitutes a real democratic country. 

One problem I see about this Anti-Cybercrime Law is that many are not informed. I personally felt like it was rushed. Ironically, I would compare it to the issue of 'midnight appointments' done by the past president which the present government vowed to defy. Many were taken by surprise when it was publicized, thus leaving most of the people lost in the dark, wondering how this atrocious implementation will change our lives as free Filipinos. 

To further understand why YOU should stand against this Cyber MARTIAL LAW, read THIS.

Anti-Cybercrime Law and KPOP Fangirls

Honestly, I am not one to explain the details but one of my biggest concerns when I learned about this law was the Pinoy KPOP community where we all belong. I began to think that since most of our population are young people, most are not fully aware about this law's negative effects on us. And my thoughts were proven right when I saw a lot of fangirls on my Facebook timeline and T-List asking why everybody has gone black. I realized they deserve to know what awaits them, so I gave it a thought.

The issue of downloading is a given. We will be called cyber criminals if we download videos, MP3's and pictures. I personally think that that's justifiable since we are all aware that illegal downloading is bad.  (Editing images would also be criminal.) However, my concern is this: this law is borderless and vague. It could eventually lead to the blocking of Youtube, Viiki, SpeedyJoe, Dailymotion, and other video-uploading sites which are our ultimate lifeblood. Imagine the horror?

Second thing, KPOP fans are no longer allowed to criticize other fans who do wrong things to others. (I believe this will be the reason if ever I'll be sent to jail.) If we see something wrong, we are no longer allowed to speak about it. Because if we do, we can be accused of cyber libel - no matter how right we may be with our opinions. 

Now, if we support a cause against something wrong or even if we just 'LIKE' or 'RETWEET' a comment that one finds libelous, we will also be charged with libel. Thus, you just don't lose your freedom to speak and express your opinions. You will also be controlled and mandated as to what you should agree to. So if you agree that someone should be put to jail because she fooled you for saying that Super Junior will be having concerts here and you end up paying her for the non-existent tickets, you will be charged with libel too if that person would decide to sue you. How is that possible? Because as how I see it, cybercrime is now a bigger mistake than estafa in the Philippines.

You basically don't have to name the person. Even if you don't, as long as that person felt like it's directed to him/her, you can be sued for libel. 

Here is the worst: if you own a fanblog and someone commented ill against another person (including government officials), you are also responsible should the criticized entity file a libel case. That's how atrocious this law is. 

The trolling stops, too. Trolling is different from bullying, but not all people would know and understand that. Trolling is fun; but if one gets offended, it is no longer just a civil case. The offender will be subjected to cyber bullying and can therefore spend years on prison. Then what do we do to those who are unnecessarily sensitive? Do we let them just take us all down?

Benefit of the Doubt

Frankly speaking, I lost hope in my country because of this. I was born after EDSA Revolution, a revolution that was held to fight for freedom of expression; and never have I thought that after 26 years, it would be suppressed again. And the most ironic thing is that the people who had implemented this E-Martial Law are the bloods and fleshes of the people who have fought bravely for our freedom during the Martial Law era.

I hate to think that the Philippines is going down now because of some people who initially do not know what a blog is. I hate to think that the Philippines is being run by individuals who wouldn't care about the legacies of their forefathers just so they could protect their personal intentions. I hate to think that my country is now being subjected to ridicule because we are called the REPUBLIC of the Philippines, yet our democracy says goodbye starting tomorrow. I hate to think that unless this law is abolished, repealed or amended, there will be no more hope for this fateful land. 

That is why I'm still trying to believe in miracles. To this point (less than two hours before the ill-fate befalls), I am still praying that Blessed Pedro Calungsod would show one last miracle for his country before he is canonized as saint. I am giving the benefit of the doubt for the president (and not for the senator). I know we all need that.

Because no matter how much I hate this country right now, it does not erase the fact that I am still a Filipino who needs to fight for the freedom which my father had fought for during EDSA 1 and what my mom and I had fought for during EDSA 2. 

And as a fangirl, I refuse to be deprived of my rights to enjoy my interests, which I could only access through the power of the internet.

I vow to not be silenced. I will exercise my freedom of expression whenever I deem necessary. I will not be afraid. Because I am a Filipino and the Philippines is for the Filipino
God bless the Philippines.

"We have emphasized that the Philippines is for the Philippines, and that each and every Filipino should be calm in the knowledge that the government is ready to defend them."
- President Benigno Aquino III Official Facebook Page

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Coming Close to the Beginning of an And

I feel so superficial. After a long time of neglecting this site, here I am again, writing about something so sensitive - one thing which I have long dreaded to talk about. While many think that it's absurd of me to do this since I tagged myself as a disloyal fan, I will still go on with what I want to say about Park Jungsu's enlistment.

I've always said that I will never be ready for the time when Jungsu has to enlist. I feared the day that we have to say farewell temporarily to the person who I have loved for so long. This is because I hated separations. I hate having to say goodbye.

But everything is inevitable. I have always known that sooner of later, Jungsu would have to leave for service. I would have to face the fact that I'm not gonna see him with the group for two years, especially since I have the inkling that he will enlist as a soldier. Much to my despair, news about the issue began to spread and I had no other choice but to avoid the pain. So my system had to resort to its ultimate defense: DISTANCE.

I decided to distance myself from Jungsu and the rest of Super Junior. That's how I found the other groups which I stanned. You see, I needed distractions because the pain was eating me up. Putting it simply, I decided to say goodbye before they do. 

To those wondering, it wasn't an easy decision. Park Jungsu is a huge part of my life for so many years and I would never forget just how much help his inspiration had provided me. I may look like I'm over him totally, but why would I deny the fact that I'm not? Even if I want to get away from this man for real, I just can't. I really can't.

That is why when I learned he was fixing his enlistment date already, I felt divided. A part of me wanted to go back but the other half prevailed. I actually pushed him away more.

Ridiculous, right? I thought I would end up really out of his shadow; but I woke up one day only to find out that the road I took actually led to him too. 

By pushing him away, I got to see things from an ordinary fan's perspective. That's when I realized that there is no point on getting depressed over his enlistment because two years fly fast. More so, why should I cry and mull over something that I should have or had always expected to happen? Was there a need to contradict destiny? Could we even do that, to begin with?

Two years is two years,  know. I can totally understand that it hurts to be away from someone you've gotten used to always be there. It sucks to wait. 

But is this how Jungsu wants us all to be?

Perhaps, yes; but I think that what he needs more is the assurance that we will still be here when he comes back. He had always feared that he'll be forgotten while he's in the army, so I wanted to focus on that aspect, than to mope around because he's leaving. Like how he always say: It's not an end. It's an and.

On October 30, he's gonna enlist (FINALLY). It's finally the start of his 2-year journey as an ordinary Korean. I honestly don't know what to feel at the moment. But if I have to name one emotion. I'll choose the fact that I FEEL PROUD.

Serving the army constitutes a lot of courage and valor; and I just feel happy that Jungsu chose to be a soldier despite his injuries. I feel proud that he's finally ready to face this course of his destiny. Fear might still be overwhelming but I trust his convictions enough to know that he's gonna go through it perfectly.

I still can't tell though if I would want to hear news or see pictures of his enlistment. I know I've been through this with Kangin and Heechul, but you see, Jungsu is different. He is Leeteuk, after all. 


Jungsu had always stayed strong. And I guess I want to do the same for him.

I'm keeping my promise. I'm sticking with you. I've gone back home just in time before you leave. I'm not letting go. 

I will wait for you. 

Monday, August 27, 2012

Army Thing... Jungsu?

So it's time, huh?

Maybe I was just too busy, or maybe I really ended up not paying attention.. But obviously, time flew fast and in a few days, it's gonna be September. And you know what this month is well-anticipated for? Park Jungsu's enlistment.

I don't really know what to feel. I have kept my distance in hope that this would not hurt as much as it would; and frankly speaking, I think I did a good job. I have to admit that a part of me doesn't want to care anymore...

Truth be told, I think Jungsu's enlistment would just like Heechul's. He had been through a severe accident in 2007 so I doubt they would let him enter the army as a soldier. Although I have this thought that Jungsu would indeed prefer to serve the military as a soldier than a public servant, I still believe that there is this huge possibility that the leader would just end up within the reach of the admiring public.

So that is the reason why I couldn't feel so despaired anymore, as opposed to how I thought I would be, way back in the past.

However, I guess it's not wrong to admit that his enlistment does affect me.

I know Super Junior would still do well, and they would all be okay - even without Jungsu by their sides. The legacy would continue because the remaining members are equipped and blessed with the capabilities to retain the popularity and success of the group.

But to be honest, I couldn't imagine Super Junior without the leader. Although we've experienced this twice already and we even lost another member before, it's different when it's Park Jungsu. And it's not just because I'm a stan...

It's because the leader plays a very integral role in maintaining utmost harmony among everyone. He has the power to impose whatever with just a stare, a smirk, a smile, a laughter, or some words. Jungsu has that influence which nobody among Super Junior could equate.

Most importantly, I couldn't imagine myself having no one to troll this much. lmao.

No seriously, I somehow feel sad that he's finally enlisting. But dude, I'm seeing the brighter side. I've pushed him to the army, right? After two years (which will certainly fly fast), I will start pushing him to get married.


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

I Love You

I want to express myself using every language but it seems like I can only express myself the best in Korean so I can only shout out to the fans like this..thank you..!!!for allowing me to feel that love has no age or country barriers..Thank you for being part of Suju(,) part of ELF and I love you..
(trans by @teukables)

I love you, Park Jungsu.
I may waver a lot and I may not look at you a lot, but nothing can erase the fact that you are my home, 
and home is where my heart will always be.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

It's Party Time with the Sexy, Free and Single (?)

When I saw the teaser for the first time, I didn't like it. Another box, just better. Then people were pointing out that the set was another recycled one because it was used already in one DBSK MV. Hyuk was made to wear something Sehun wore for History. And the song was somehow auto-tuned again.

But as I watch it for the second time, it felt like brand new. And I knew that I just got used to the old Super Junior scheme that I didn't notice the fact that Super Junior is presenting me with something quite extra ordinary.

There is something to expect, I thought.


I've listened to all SJ songs and I can say that this style is beyond their usual. When I first heard the song in full, I was easily addicted to it. It came unexpected though because although it has the same Yoo Youngjin-feel, it is strangely unique. Like there's something in it which was prepared for the past years.

Maybe I don't know much about music but I could say that this is close to club music. It makes you dance. It makes you move. It makes you close your eyes and imagine yourself popping to the beat. It makes you wonder if this is really Super Junior... or another group.

The song is addicting, and it is fucking way better than Mr. Simple.


I woke up to a bad weather. It was raining hard and even my parents were clueless why the weather was weird. There weren't any news that there's typhoon either. Class and work suspensions were announced here and there. And then, my TList told me that it was also raining in some parts of Singapore and Japan (where it was supposed to be sunny)... 

The answer came to me on 12PM KST though. SM Entertainment released the Sexy, Free and Single music video of Super Junior.

Rain kings, they are.

The music video is far better than I expected. Although they were still in a box, it was way better than anything else. You would easily notice that the company had indeed put effort for them this time. I personally love the sets...


I personally like the octagon design, although until now, I am not sure as to what that was for. I love how it exploded into pieces and then Yesung faded in singing his lines. The jumps were a little off for me but I think it was needed.

And then don't talk to me about the camera shots because I am fucking spazzing over it. IT DIDN'T MAKE ME DIZZY, that alone is reason enough to call this video perfect.


The choreography is awesome. 

It is not as move-y as Don't Don, not as complex as Sorry Sorry, not as catchy as Mr. Simple... But being a former dancer, boy the choreography is difficult. YOU WOULD NEED INTENSE SENSE OF BALANCE TO PERFECT THE STUNTS!

Many people would not agree. I, myself, didn't like it the first time I saw it. But it will grow on you guys, believe me. Although it looked like it was really intended for older dancers, it is really something we can call a 'GREAT DANCE'.

Why? Because the choreography is awesome.


The boys, themselves, basically slapped me with reality: SUPER JUNIOR OWNS ME.

I don't care about the leather whatever or Siwon's weird hairstyle, or anything else. These boys are perfect whatever you make them wear. The charm compensates for everything. The charm which is very broad to be explained by words.

Every flick, every stare, every move... It nails me permanent to the fact that yes, Super Junior owns me.

Cho Kyuhyun, I'll get back to you for killing me. Just wait.


Now, here comes one of the most special reasons why Sexy, Free & Single is awesome: Kim Yongwoon. 

After three longing years, here he is now - back and alive. Seeing him performing and keeping up with his brothers, I can no longer complain about anything else against SME. The fact that they brought him back is a reason enough to just keep my mouth shut for any flaw (if ever there is one).

His voice is as flawless as ever. Although it was obvious that he was struggling with the choreography, he managed to cover it up with his presence.

And no other reason could top that.




Friday, June 15, 2012

Are We Nearing Goodbye?

Truth be told, I don't feel any excitement about the 6jib. Don't get me wrong though. It's just that I feel it was  so rushed, I wasn't even able to prepare.

But the comeback is actually far from my real concerns when it comes to Super Junior. My attention is really on the fact that we're really getting there.

Park Jungsu is really entering the army soon.

Honestly? I don't know what to feel. But I think I'll be fine. I've stayed away long enough to test myself and I realized that I'll be able to get through it.

I think I really have to tell it here (although not many would really care).

When I got my Mr. Simple and as I listen to all the tracks, one particular struck me like lightning: My Love, My Kiss, My Heart. I didn't really look for its translation but as music never fails to find its way to me, I had the inkling of what that song was trying to say: Goodbye.

I can still remember how I talked to Danica that night, crying as I type the words I've always dreaded to say. The 5JIB presented itself to me in a deeper manner. It's more than just being the fifth album of Super Junior. It's more than just new songs.

To me, the Mr. Simple album was like a subliminal instrument to tell me, and all of us in this fandom, that they're about to take their own paths, quite far from us.

Since then, I have forced myself not to pay too much attention anymore. Since then, I built walls around my fragile heart. Because as everyone knows and as how I've always pointed out, I am weak when it comes to parting. I realized then that I have to get myself used to not being with them, so that when the time comes, I wouldn't have to hurt so much.

Because no matter how much I try to deny, it will hurt like hell if Jungsu leaves.

That's when I focused my attention on other groups... So now that 6JIB is about to be released, I feel like I'm starting to get lost again. Honestly, I am torn between just keeping the distance or going back to the place which I've missed so much but fear a lot.


Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Usapang Tagalog Ulit!

Ang opinyon ko sa isyu ng SiHae ay pareho lang din sa opinyon ko ngayon sa pagdating sa SS3 3D. Hindi ko alam kung sino-sino ang may pakialam at sino-sino ang magsasabing wag na lang akong makialam. Pero gusto kong magsalita.

Nakita ko ang sitwasyon at naniwala ako na magkakaroon nga tayo ng pagkakataon na makita sina Siwon at Donghae. Maniwala kayo't sa hindi, isa ako sa mga excited dahil hindi ko itatangging gusto ko pa rin silang makita... sa Pilipinas. Walang SS4 Manila, at ito yung natitira nating pag-asa.

Makapangyarihan ang mga salita at nag-uumapaw ang kahulugan. Pero ang naiwang tanong: HINDI BA TALAGA KAYANG MAGHINTAY?

Marami ng pagkakataon na nasayang ang pagod at maraming nabigo dahil kagagawan ng iilan. Hindi ako naninisi dahil hindi rin naman ako malinis. Pero naaawa lang kasi ako talaga sa mga kaibigan kong halos parang MMDA na ang trabaho dahil lagi na lang naglilinis ng kalat ng iba. Minsan, pwede na ring DPWH dahil sunod-sunod na beses na silang nagtatakip ng butas na ginawa ng mga taong..........

Nagulat ako sa sagot sa tweet na yon dahil tama rin naman ang opinyon nung sinagot. Pero pwede bang isantabi nalang ang opinyon at wag na paulanan ng tanong at sangkaterbang reklamo yung mga taong wala naman talagang pananagutan sa atin? Hindi naman kasi nila tayo responsibilidad. Kaya wag tayong maging pabigat.

Ayokong magbanggit ng pangalan dahil gusto ko pa ring sanayin nating lahat ang pag-iisip. Safety measures na rin kung sakaling may ibang hindi naman alam ang isyu.

Pero sa mga nakakaalam at alam nilang isa sila sa mga pinaparatingan ko nitong mensaheng ito, tama na muna. Praktisin natin yung pasensya at paghihintay. Hindi naman masama yon. At katulad na rin ng sinabi ko dati, wag na nating bigyan ng dahilan yung mga may kakayanan na dalhin dito ang Super Junior para umatras sa plano nila. Dahil kahit gano pa tayo kagandang market, walang silbi yon kung madali naman tayong makapikon.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

When a Disloyal ELF Talks about Loyalty to Super Junior...

Lately, I've been feeling so out of the loop. Since the time two other groups both decided to enclose and indulge me into a dimension of pure awesome, I forgot about Super Junior. As how I always say, it was like the spark was gone. Suddenly, everything felt unfamiliar and it was as if I just don't care anymore.

But I guess that's just gonna remain as an 'as if' because I just realized that there are still some things that will never ever change: I LOVE SUPER JUNIOR and I AM AN ELF.

Just like what Ate Chi said, Super Junior is like rice. It's like a staple food, necessary for our existence. We can never live without it, but we would need a variety of viands to eat it with. Otherwise, it'll be bland for our liking and definitely unappetizing. We need side dishes. We need other tastes.

Basically, we need diversions.

Being an ELF is tiring. That's one sure thing. For the years that I've been in this fandom, I have encountered a lot of things already that drove me to thinking that maybe it's really time to leave - delusional fans, warfreak individuals, mandating and know-it-all seniors, people taking advantage - there are a lot of those people here; and they stain the fandom's reputation.

But then, is there any perfect fandom in the world?

I guess the answer to the question is what convinces me to stay. The fact that we're still a work in progress despite being in existence for several years already make me feel like I have to stick around; because I want to see what we would all become in the future. I want to see the endpoint of these all, if there's even any.

Honestly, I believe in the potential of this fandom. I believe that we still got a lot more to offer even after a long time of proving things, and doing things together with and for Super Junior. I believe in our capacity to turn the tides and create more histories this industry would never have imagined.

But we can never move to a better place without being distracted. And that's okay! Getting attracted to other groups and forgetting about Super Junior for a while is normal. That just mean we're still capable of living our own respective lives. We're still sane because we still notice others.

That is why I find it very hilarious when people would easily talk about loyalty. Because of this, we even started a group and call ourselves 'disloyals'. But then, that's just for fun. Behind it is a deep and controversial question: Do we really have measure loyalty? We can't even define it properly, how much more measure it? What are the gauge?

To me, loyalty is such a sensitive aspect to thrive on. It is a very broad subject which will take forever to condense. It is something we cannot just integrate on all fandom-related matters, just so we can prove our love to a group we stan. Because at the end of the day, love and loyalty are not always synonymous.

I am not loyal to Super Junior, I can openly say that. I am actually loyal to myself, and my drive of emotions. But that does that remove my right from loving them? Just because I claim to be a disloyal one, does that mean I don't love them anymore? Hell no.

Super Junior had molded me to what I am right now. Seriously. If not for their motivation, I wouldn't have known what I really want to do and I wouldn't have taken the first steps to realize my dreams. Super Junior had been my life for several years, and that truth won't change anytime soon...

But I think we have to accept the fact that they have some companies in my heart at the moment.

Times passes by, and as we go along the way, we get to meet new people who will influence our lives the way these 15-member group did and is currently doing. To extend our horizon as a human being, we need to entertain new acquaintances, new idols, and new beginnings. But that doesn't mean we have to throw away what we had. Our heart is as big as a universe. We could always fit everything there.

Furthermore, as we grow old, the less important this fandom would be. Greater real-life priorities will come first. But for me, I will never forget that I was, I am and I'll forever be a part of the Sapphire Blue World...

Now, I'm not defying the possibilities though. I know that this might lead to total isolation; but goodbyes are definitely unnecessary. Even if I decide to leave, I know I'll always come back because I know I'll always be welcome.

After all, this is my home... and forever, it will be.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Be Fine

I… closed the door, not letting anyone in..
And cried just like that ㅠㅠ
Members I love you~ thank you!
Lee Sungmin's Naver Blog, April 30 '12
Kor to Chi Trans: | Chi to Eng trns by @paperheartsmin

I don't know what happened and even though curiosity is killing me big time, I don't want to dig deep on whatever that happened because this is something personal which I think we will never get to discover from Lee Sungmin.

But I hope and I pray that he's better now that he's back in Korea. A lot of things might have happened while they were in Jakarta and those things might have pained him so much to lock himself up in a room and cry.

But whaetever it is, I really hope he's fine now.

And just now, it hits me...

A part of me is actually hoping that Sungmin was referring to how he was before Super Junior. It's not a secret that this man is a very secretive person, right?

But who knows.

Whatever. I just want Sungmin to be okay.

Monday, April 16, 2012

The End of the Short Journey

July 5, 2010.

I woke up to a very gloomy day. It was one of the most difficult days for me. I had work then so I literally dragged myself out of the bed to go to office. I had no other choice. It was either I take a leave and sulk on what was about to befall; or I spend my day normally, hoping that things would change.

But obviously, it didn't.

I was monitoring everything on the internet. I was on Twitter even though I wasn't supposed to. That was the first time I experience such kind of whirling emotions. Few months ago, someone left. And then there came another. The pain was literally overwhelming.

It is not an exaggeration to say that I was literally crying in my workstation when the clock ticked 12NN. I even had to lock myself in the restroom of our office so I could give in to all the emotions that were bottling up inside me. My boss got worried. My perfect alibi was menstrual cramps, and I didn't know if she bought it.

When it's time to go home, I got Short Journey on loop and the whole time I was riding the train, tears were trickling down my face. I had to wipe it though even before it fall so people won't notice that I was indeed shedding waterworks. Occasionally though, passengers would look at me questioningly... And I didn't care.

Because that day, someone very close to my heart left for the army... Kim Youngwoon.

April 16, 2012.

It came unnoticed. Maybe I was just distracted by everything that's happening around me that I fail to realize that someone is coming home. The two years flew and right now, I still have mixed emotions. How to react? What to do? What to say?

But one thing remains true. Kim Youngwoon is still one of the closest people in my heart. And I'm just so glad that finally, he's coming back.

He left broken, and I know that he's coming back whole. The two years he spent as a soldier, I know, had turned him into a better individual - someone who is more capable of doing different things for the sake of the people he loves, someone who is much more stronger than who he had always been.

This is a very foreign feeling to me. It had always been goodbye for me. I wasn't there yet when Heenim and Kyuhyun went back to the group after in horrible accidents. So the memories in me were only departures. Kibum, Geng, Kangin, and Heenim all left - temporary or permanent. Soon it's gonna be Jungsu. So I can't help but be so emotional with this coming home. It ignites the wick of my hope candle. It makes me believe that the idea of seeing all fifteen of them on stage, even just once, is never impossible.


It's 12:52 AM in my time right now. In 6 hours, my prection Kangbear is coming back - brand new, whole and much much stronger. He had managed to brave through everything and I'm just so proud. What happened before are now regarded as painful memories which bonded us stronger and helped us all develop into better people and yes, family.

These tears I’m shedding now is because I’m so proud of you. Because as we fight the battle, you were fighting for us too. As we strive hard to protect you, you remained our shield trying to protect us from all the shrapnels they’re throwing.
You bravely caught all the arrows. You endured all the pain. You were wounded, you bled, but you managed to be strong. And just as I was thinking that it was you who we are defending all along, I knew and I realize when I saw you in blue shirt and gray cap, with a haircut fit for army,  that it was us who were kept safe… there.. in your loving heart.
You remained to be the strong benevolence that you are. You lived your name just when we all need it the most.
You stood stronger than ever, and that made me so much prouder of you. You did what you have to do, you admitted the mistakes, you suffered the consequences, you went through a lot.
(excerpts from here)
In a few hours, you're coming back home. And just like what I've promised, I think I am more than ready to say... 


Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Tips for Fangirls: How to Make Money Online during Summer and Beyond

Contrary to what others believe, being a fangirl is not an easy task. Aside from the fact that we are constantly in an emotional rollercoaster ride, our pockets are always devastated. Indeed, this is a very expensive hobby; and so we obviously need money.

Making money is another challenge, though - especially for students. Merchandises are definitely not cheap and not all parents are supportive of this interest. If they are, we cannot expect them to just provide for us all the time. Somehow, we have to learn how to make money on our own... which is definitely not easy.

So guys, I'm giving you some tips on how to earn the cash to finance your fandom needs, without leaving the precious computer. I hope that through this compilation, you would find the drive to be independent when it comes to this kind of matter:

1. oDesk 

oDesk is definitely a nice site for those who wish to work at home. I personally hasn't tried working for it yet but according to Irev who earns through this site, people look for employers there. Then if hired, they're gonna work like call center agents, most of the time, as night-shifters. You're going to get paid like a typical full-time worker through Paypal. Freelancing is possible in oDesk too. Usually, jobs offered here has something to do with content writing, seo marketing and secretarial services. If you've got what it takes, sign up now.

2. Nuffnang

Those who love blogging would love Nuffnang. It is an online community that posts advertisements on your blog, and the rule is: if people click those banners/skyscrapers, then you earn money. It's a pay-per-click campaign Nuffnang is focusing on. Although earning is quite slow here, as most readers really know what are ads and what are not, it wouldn't hurt to have your blog registered here. However, I think this is applicable to bloggers from Philippines, Singapore, Thailand, Malaysia, China, Hong Kong and Australia may join! But I'm pretty sure, they're working on extending their services to more countries!

Friday, March 23, 2012

We're Sticking With You Forever

Thanks for all ur concern everyone. Jus like to say…no one knew that the incident a few years ago would happen…not even my label… It is nobody's fault. I totally understand the hearts of ALL the fans and what you thought then..or now. However, I'm very thankful for everything that has happened till now. It has taught me not to simply take everything I have right now for granted. There are those who rise up so quickly they forget and simply take in all this love/support/fame they're getting for granted. I've learned to appreciate each and everyone out there who supports me in any way…every applause/every scream. I've learned to 'earn' it instead of having it handed to me. That's why I can't jus walk passed a fan like its nuthin...nuh uh 
During these years after my debut, it is true I haven't been promoting much. Many might think its a bad thing but to me…it is actually the best thing for me. I have used this time to learn new instruments, languages, music production, vid editing, etc, and even had the time to attend the school of my dreams. A lot of artists out there especially in the kpop scene are so busy promoting that they cannot have time to do anything. I'm so thankful that I have this 'extra' time because I honestly don't consider myself good at anything yet. This time has given me a chance to improve and prepare myself for the day when I will need it all. My dream is not to simply appear on tv and promote and be 'famous' but I want to become somebody who all of you can truly look up to and respect as an artist in all areas. SM has given me the opportunity to do all this, and for that I am forever thankful. I'd like to thank you all for your concern and I promise I will continue to work harder and harder. You Strings are awesome. Just stay with me a little longer. :) :) 

You know what I'm thinking? I think that at this very moment, there is no one who can equate to the maturity of this man called Henry. 

I am not really in the mood to figure out what the article (to which this is Henry's reply) coz I am sick. But I couldn't help but linger on the thought that this kid had indeed made me prouder not just of him, but of myself, as well.

It is not a secret that Henry went through a lot. Along with Zhoumi, it was a rough ride for them due to some people who cannot accept their existence. But look who managed to handle it well! He had long proven to us all how awesome he is as a person, but I really don't know how he gets to unconsciously uplift himself more and set greater inspirations for us to live with. Indeed, I am so proud.

And as I've said, his tweet had also made me proud of myself. Come to think of it, since I indulged myself in this fandom, I have professed that I will be protecting this man with everything that I have. I promised myself that whatever happens, I will stick with this kid and support him with everything he wants to do. In my own way, I will shower him with all the love that this world knows he deserves.

Henry, you are a ninja and you are an artist; but more than that, you are a good person...
And we're not staying a little longer... WE ARE STICKING WITH YOU, FOREVER.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012


For many fans, there are two things that we know. One, it is normal for us to love people who are not even aware of our existence that's why; Two, we content ourselves with the fact that our idols appreciate our country in general.

Yes, the greatest and most realistic thing a fan could ever receive from her idols is recognition. The fact that her country is mentioned by someone she loves so much is more than enough compensation to all the efforts, time and money given out for him. Though it's technically asking something in return, I believe that there is no fan in this world - especially of Super Junior, who is popular WORLDWIDE - who wouldn't feel thrilled if even just her country will be mentioned by the boys. Although I cannot deny that there are some who couldn't be contented that they end up stepping into a delusional phase, which is of course, another story I wouldn't want to discuss.. YET.

So yeah, appreciation... or let's call it recognition.

Let me tell you a story: When Super Show 2 Manila was announced, a group called SuJu MAD was formed. It consisted of fans who volunteered to handle projects for the members. There weren't salaries for the work and most of the expenses most likely came out from their own pockets; and for donations, they had to think of their own ways to accumulate the needed amount for the project from fellow fans who are willing to shed out cash for these boys. Personal efforts for the benefit of the Philippine ELF's reputation.

But although it was for a good cause, I can't say that SuJu MAD - along with SJUPH - succeeded that time. Maybe it's because of the hype that it was the first time that SJ came to the Philippines, so yeah, such excuse was counted.


A chance to prove our worth once more as a strong fandom came through SS3 Manila, and I tell you.. the preparation... and the success... were truly imposing.

Cutting the story short, through the combined efforts of the fans - and some detractors who strengthened our bond, the Philippine ELF managed to prove the whole world that we are indeed an SJ-country.

Yes, each one of us who were there in SS3 Manila (in body and in thoughts) were part of the concert's success. Until now, I find it amusing how we came as one for the sake of our reputation as a nation that loves Super Junior. It was just so awesome that that night felt so surreal...

And as the night ended, we all knew that we marked our position in the hearts of Super Junior...


But recently, I started thinking that maybe what we did aren't enough. It hurt like hell, especially that I was one of all of you who exerted her 110% for the projects to be successful. I had to force myself to walk in two weeks (as I got into a major accident almost a month before Super Show 3 MLA) just so I could attend to my responsibilities in this fandom.

Summary: I felt like we were forgotten... by Jungsoo.

But then, things changed, thanks to Super Show 4 Bangkok.


Some Philippine ELF went to Bangkok and literally brought flags and banners to raise to Jungsu. It was not a project. Rather, it was an impulsive action by people who probably share the same sentiment as mine. While we were all losing hope, something unexpected happened.

On the third day of Super Show 4 Bangkok, Park Jungsu finally spoke of what I've always longed to hear. He recognized the Philippines and much more, he said 'Mabuhay, Philippines.'

Wow moment. When Cla tweeted that, I cried... and for a moment, everything became irrelevant.

Jungsu... Mentioned.. the Philippines.


Who would have thought that two words would make me scamper back to where I used to be? I've declared myself to be Henry-biased already, and although that doesn't change, I feel like I'm drifting back to the leader, just when I thought I wouldn't anymore. It's like everything's wiped off with those words. Funny.

I don't know how exactly did he finally remember us, but I want to believe on two things: He realized that there is indeed a country called the Philippines, and that he managed to see the dedication of the Philippine ELF to show him that we love him so much. Whichever, I have Park Jungsu to thank.

This is funny. I feel like writing an apology letter. While I feel confident about what I'm saying, I feel shameful. I've done wrong and I've grown immature... But it's just that I don't want to be dishonest anymore.

So yeah, I've posted this.

And hey, Jungsu, once again.. Thank you. :)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

1000 Days

I'm listening to Lee Seunghwan's 1000 Days. I first heard this from SJ Foresight when the singer guested there and since then, it has been one of my favorite Korean ballad songs...

...until it became the song which Heenim had to sing during his last day at Youngstreet.

I know he's just there, still very active with his radio stints even while serving the military. It appears to me that he still found his way to do whatever he wanted to do even when in duty so I feel so proud and happy...

But the thing is... I think it's me who could no longer find time for his activities. I'm too busy with work, with other things; that I started missing him so much...

Oh well... Kangin's coming back anyway. :)  


Disclaimer: I AM NOT AN ANTI. LOL.

I was literally laughing so hard when Ms. Stacy (Siwon's friend) called me Ms. Toes and Angel Toes. I don't know why she called me like that all of a sudden but I know that she finds my Twitter ID cute. I even told her that it's in admiration of Kyuhyun's toes... Although it's just a part of the whole truth.

Not everybody knows why I use the name KYUtoes on Twitter so I'm telling the story.

It all started with this:


Friday, March 9, 2012

[Trans] @special1004: Macau was where we did a photoshoot when we first debuted.. It's really a place that contains many fun and happy memories.. And now it's become a reality that we're having our independent concert in this place, Macau ^^ We're always challenging ourselves to write new history! We're just.. Super Junior!
via: allrisexhiatic

allow me to cry, Jungsu.
Allow me to cry.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

And My Whole World STOPPED.


For everyone's knowledge, Philippine ELF (spearheaded by Super Junior United Philippines) have long been pleading and petitioning that BENCH, a major brand of apparel in the country, get Super Junior as their endorsers.

And just yesterday, Bench CEO Ben Chan had announced that they flew to Seoul for a photoshoot. That same day, Siwon flew back from Japan to Seoul and headed to the company building. 
At this very moment, they're conducting it. And Ben Chan said there are two surprises.

And to hell with coincidences, LEE DONGHAE UPLOADED THIS PHOTO.