Sunday, January 29, 2012

I know this sucks.
But why does it always look so easy to let go,
when it's actually damn difficult to do so?

It's 3AM.
I saw this.
And suddenly, everything just snapped inside of me.

Tears broke loose.
Emotions let out.
Suddenly, I felt like I just have to cry.

And I did.

I knew I just I have to see these boys again.
Especially, you Kim Heenim.

Monday, January 23, 2012


I have just received it the other day and I was so thrilled because it's my first time receiving a snail mail from the US, and most importantly, it came from you. *v*

We may no longer be talking to each other that much but I know that you know that I'm just here, whenever you need someone to talk to about this fandom and just about anything, I'm still a tweet away. ^^

You know what? You are one of the many people who make me hold on. As there are times that I just want to drift away from this fandom because I'm getting dizzy with all the rollercoaster rides, it pays to think that I'm riding it with people I call friends - people like you.

This may just be a simple gift but rest assured that it will be kept in my heart for the rest of our lives. ^^

And yes, I saw Leeteuk in it. hehe. ^^

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Happy Birthday Kim Youngwoon!

생일 축아해용~!!! 

You're coming back home in a few months time and you know what? I realized how time flies. Last time I knew, I was crying in the restroom of my office because you were leaving. And now, my smiles are anticipating for your much-awaited comeback - from the army to the industry where you belong.

On your birthday, I only wish two things. First, I hope that as you get discharged to the real world, you will realize that just the same, the people who have vowed to protect you are still here. There is no need to fear about what lies ahead of you because as long as we believe in you, you will always have a place in the world. 

Second, I wish that the judgmental world we're in has matured already. What happened in the past will never be forgotten, but I hope that this world has finally understood that things could sometimes get out of hand, and idols are never gods to be always right.

Kang Bear, we have all waited for two years for the wonderful reunion that is bound to happen. On your birthday, be happy and be well.

I'll look forward to seeing you again on my screens. ♥

Friday, January 13, 2012

Late Christmas Gift

Christmas came a little bit late for me. ^^

So this is an artwork of Jolito, the foster son of Jungsu ^^. I just received it two days ago and it melted my heart when I saw this. REALLY.

For Jolito, the Christmas tree is his favorite decoration; and so he draw it. Even if this three-year old kid doesn't know yet what the true symbolism of a Christmas tree is, it's good to know that the ornament is indeed making sense for him.

I wasn't actually able to give anything to Jolito for Christmas. I was supposed to send money to World Vision for the noche buena of his family but certain instances hindered me from doing so. 


Jungsu, Jolito said Merry Christmas to you! ♥

SJ, Number 1.

Not many paid attention but there are some people who noticed that I actually closed this blog. It was an impulsive decision triggered by something that hurt my ego as a fan. I wouldn’t want to dwell on it anymore since it’s done and I’m finally being convinced of the possible excuses why it happened; so once again, here I am, enjoying the space I have especially intended for me and my angels.

It is not a secret that Super Junior had won the Disk Daesang in the recently concluded Golden Disk Awards in Osaka; and this is something that we’ve all been praying for. I’ve seen how each one of us exerted effort to buy the albums, vote on polls, and campaign for this group’s popularity. Well, obviously it paid off. We won.

Yes, I used the term ‘we’ because this is a combined effort of Super Junior and ELF. As we usually say, it is only on each other that we depend on, and I think we have once again proven the world that as long as we have each other, we can conquer everything.

There were no livestreaming and my internet was fucked up that night so I couldn’t properly spazz but I think it will be underrated to say that I trembled, I got anxious, I got nervous, and I got excited about the results. Although I was kinda confident that they will win, I couldn’t remove the possibility of result manipulations again. We all know the story, and before you accuse me of bashing other groups, I am telling you that I am merely stating the truth.

When I knew that they won, I suddenly remembered myself last year. I was crying, mumbling sorry to myself, hoping that the wind would deliver my sincere apologies to Super Junior members who I know were terribly disappointed. That night, I looked for someone to blame and I ended up blaming myself and the others for not trying hard enough. It was absurd, of course, but I took this fandom in a very serious manner – so serious that their disappointments have become my disappointments too. Even double.

Then I wrote an article entitled Sorry, SJ, Sorry. An excerpt from it circulated around the internet and this is what it said:
Jungsoo wanted to be congratulated by the end of the year.
This is Heechul’s birthday wish.
It could’ve been a good compensation when Yesung didn’t win a Digital Bonsang.
And yes guys, this could have been the best keepsake we can give Jungsu and Heechul before they enter the army.
But we couldn’t.
And you know what makes me cry harder?
It’s the fact that this would be the best news to give Kangin.
This could’ve been the best gift to welcome Kibum back.
And this could be the best reason to make Hangeng come back.

But now, as I reread it, I felt accomplished. I know that the Disk Daesang for 2010 was ours. It was returned to us, actually, in a form of a simple award-giving ceremony held on early 2011. But still, it felt different since our boys were announced as winners on the exact date that the awards were given.

And you know what I’m thinking?

Jungsu can now enter the army without any regrets.
This is something that could make Heenim prouder even when in service.
This is the best gift to welcome Kangin back home with.
This is the greatest reminder that Super Junior – along with Kibum and Hangeng – still exists.
And yes, this is the strongest proof that Super Junior, who are continuously being dragged down by different forces, is still standing strong.
Because at the end of the day, Super Junior will always be the group that conquered the world.

On his tweet, the leader said that if there is one thing that they do not know, it is ‘breaking up’; and ELF do not know it as well…

…Because we, together, define forever.