Monday, January 25, 2010

The Sexiest Memory


I am not sure when will I ever get to write a post again. The next three weeks will surely be deadly for me. I’m off to the Hades of production - Cramming.
I knew I had to visit ICEPLUSCOFFEE‘s site before I go on hiatus. Then I saw these pictures. And a HUGE thank you to the fans who posted these. You just don’t know how big help you are to me.
Because at least, there’s something to remember on that three weeks of hiatus. At least I’ll leave with a beautiful and sexy memory of my angel.
I wish I could really make it. I wish I could really go on hiatus. I wish these pictures wouldn’t make me change my mind. >.<

Super Show is NOT a Concert…


I Will Carry You.
If you can’t stand up on your own, because the whole world’s putting its weight on you,
don’t hesitate, never think twice, ask me to carry you.

If you can’t speak for yourself because you fear you might get bashed,
tell me your words, whisper it clearly, I will tell the whole world of it.

There may be times when you think that the arrows are pointed on you,
Don’t be afraid, just stand still, I will be your shield.

Because you are my strength, and you are my life.
You’re always the one who always makes things right.
I would be lost when I’m without you…
So if you can’t go on anymore, I will carry you

The Inevitable Tears of Kim Heechul.

credits: as tagged
I’ve just posted that I’ll be on hiatus but I don’t think I can start that break without having to write about the picture above.
Yeah. That is Heechul crying.
According to the fanaccount posted in, Heenim cried on the part when they were singing Shining Star. This was during their Super Show 2 in Beijing, China.
Wondering why?
I don’t know. But I have my share of opinions. I think I understand why he does.
According to the article, this was the first time when Heenim cried in front of the fans during a concert. Yeah, he made the crowd laugh and gave his best but there was no way he could escape the loneliness.
I believe it has something to do with Geng. My angel was said to cry too, and I’m not sure if I would want to see a picture of it. The two eldest were in tears. The two eldest were hurting the most.
And no one could ever blame them for doing so.
They were in China. They were on the same land where Geng is, but they can’t be with him. And I know how it feels to be without someone so special on one special evening, even though he’s just there.


I’ll be on Hiatus. Sorry.

I’m barely breathing.
But I’m still alive. ^^
I’m just jailed behind the bars of this production that I couldn’t even stay in front of my computer to update this blog.
And I’m sorry for that.
You see, it’s barely a month left before the pageant but we haven’t started anything yet. Now, it’s pressure.
So I’m really sorry if I cannot regularly post updates. I don’t think I can manage to do so on this time. I really have to focus on this responsibility.
Don’t worry about me. I’m taking things easy. There’s a rainbow always after the rain, right? After this hardship, I’ll be able to prepare for Super Show 2 in Manilawithout any hesitations. ^^
And that is my reward for myself.
Please wish me well. Please pray for our success.
Thank you for understanding cheonsa23I love you all ♥

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Lack of Thirteen can Kill.

There are things which we would like to see but we couldn’t – for reasons we cannot know. We are forced to accept things blindly. We are asked to understand without being explained to.
It’s inevitable. There are times when we have to believe on the unknown.
I don’t know what came to me to write this way. These ideas and words don’t feel like mine. I don’t know where it’s coming from.
Maybe from the unconscious. Maybe from the deepest corner of my heart – a place which I haven’t been to, a place which I don’t really know exists.


Even just in pictures. Even just in videos.
I know what’s happening. I know why they can’t be together. But I thought I understand. I thought it would be easy to live with it.
This is the first time I’m speaking of this. I’m always trying my hardest to think positive. I’ve expected 2010 to be a lot better than 2009, but it doesn’t seem so. Geng’s still on his hiatus, we’re not still sure of if Kangin’s suspension will be lifted this year, and Kibum’s still prioritizing his acting activities.
Sorry. I’m out of my mind. I just can’t help it, really. I need to just get it out of myself. I’m really longing to see them all thirteen on stage, performing again. I can’t understand how it feels. You know, it seems not like just for entertainment anymore.Seeing them together has turned into a necessity.
Because to me, they’re my symbol of hope. I know it’s senseless. I know it’s absurd, but as I continue to wait for the time when they stand complete again, I know I’m gonna be able to tell myself that I’m okay. I know I’ll be better. I know I’ll be at my best condition as I was.
Aissh. Where do these words come from? What do these ideas mean? I’m so ashamed of myself for having said these things because it feels like I’m questioning fate. I’m sorry. I really am.
Stress is really killing me. I feel like I’m wearing Salazar Slytherin‘s necklace and it’s possessing me.
I really need to see them all thirteen. No, I need to see them all fifteen.