But when they got the Album of the Year, I knew that I have to let this pass - no matter how difficult it is.
And yes, it was Jungsu's speech that made me calm down.
"Even when nobody acknowledges us; even when nobody wants to give us a hand... To the ones that made us the best, the world's very best fan club, ELF."
When he said that, I was brought back to my senses. And I realized that at the end of each day, it's not these Mnet, GDA, MelOn, or any award-giving body that would determine the kind of artist Super Junior is. Ate Yan was right when she said that time will come that these trophies and recognition will become irrelevant; and the one that managed to change the lives of so many people will prevail.
"Hi Singapore, we've lived through our 20's with everyone, thank you. With many difficulties, with so many things happening, the members depended on each other; also the members who are not with us - the ones watching TV right now, and the ones far away from us, I love you guys. When no one acknowledge us, no one knew us, the best fanclub who made us the best; as fans, letting us feel the 'mightiness', ELF all over the world - I thank you again.
We, Super Junior are ugly ducklings, until the day we became swans...
...This award could be the last we receive before enlistment, it's an unforgettable awards ceremony; we will continue being a hardworking Super Junior. Thank you everybody."
Then when I read Jungsu's full speech, I remembered this post in KPOPSecrets on Tumblr where the fandoms were compared. While everybody was fighting for the top spot, there is Triple S who are contented with what SS501 gives them. Through that, I was reminded of my previous posts. I was one of those people who were trying so hard to unite everyone (although to no avail) and yet, I went off-track just because Super Junior didn't win two out of five awards. (SJ's nomination is still an issue to me!)
Actually, it is difficult to accept that attempts to humiliate Super Junior are rampant. I'm not exaggerating when I said 'humiliating' because that is what I see. Many try to bring them down in order to put others on top; and I am not saying this just because I am a devoted fan. I just want to be fair.
I know I can't be like my Triple S friends who can keep calm despite everything. For a fandom that is always placed under the scorching criticisms of the world and for an idol-fans relationship that is always tested by fate, what they're doing is quite difficult to do. It's terribly distracting when it's us against the world, most of the time.
But the great compensation lies on the fact that we are battling against all these heartaches and frustrations... together. I can never be sure but when Siwon said that they're gonna give the best to us, ELF, because we deserve only the bests; I knew right then and there that we can move mountains together.
Their tears are as precious as their smiles to me. That's why when they got emotional on stage, I melted on my seat and told myself that with the remaining time I have with them, I would stop thinking of things that would just pain us all. If 'magic' would occur once again and we will be deprived of things we deserve, I'll just whine a little and probably let karma take control. Because I want to convince myself and others - as well - that since we do not know anymore what is going to happen next, then we might as well have to figure out how to make the most out of everything we have left.
"If the tears we shed when we received newcomer award were tears of grief after rising from trainees, today's tears are tears of happiness that we will be able to do better in the future."
People, life becomes more unfair when people attempt to treat everyone equally. But it is the attitude of those who are weakened that matters most. We all may have felt that Super Junior deserved those awards. But for Blackjacks, 2ne1 deserved that too. That's the course of life which I think we all forgot for a moment. Thank God for our boys that I managed to revive myself again.
What is important is that Super Junior bagged three awards: Singapore Popularity Award, Best Male Group Award, and Best Album of the Year. As some people have said, the Album of the Year is the highest award (since it's the last given) because no album would be great if the single and the artist isn't. I guess, we all just have to struggle among ourselves to accept that fact.
At the end of the day, awards wouldn't matter. So long as the boys owned the night and as long as we continuously believe in them - DESPITE EVERYTHING ELSE, it's still ours.