Sunday, July 19, 2009

I Hate Goodbyes

I have a tough personality. I have enough courage and strength to stand up against anything that hurts me. I thought I’m almost invincible. And yes, I just thought I am.
I don’t know where these tears are coming from. I was just watching Super Junior Full House’s last episode, the time when the group had to bid farewell to their guests, Anya and Eva. I don’t know. Maybe I was just too absorbed with the guys that I wish I could do a 3-month home stay with them too.
But just when I thought that this is just out of my insecurities and envy, I realized that there’s something deeper. I hate goodbyes.
I am crying because I know how it feels to part ways with people you’ve learned to love – people you have shared a part of your life with, people whom you have been a part of.  I felt the pain.
Because for so many times, I heard goodbyes. I was left alone without enough explanations why. I just had to stay strong. I just had to survive. Nevertheless, the fear remains. I fear goodbye.
I wish there will come a time that the word goodbye will be deleted from the world’s vocabulary. So that no one will be in pain anymore, so that no one will be left-out…
So that no one will be like me.

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