You see, I cannot fully understand the Korean language. I’ve been trying to learn Hangul for a while now but due to my busy schedule and tight budget, I can’t enroll myself in a tutorial. So I have to learn it myself.
I’ve been a fan of Super Junior for like half a year already. Thanks to the Filipina child-wonder, Charice Pempengco that I got to know Kyu Hyun first, and then the whole group. I thought, at first, they are merely a boyband with god-like faces and talents but I had proven myself wrong.
I watch their videos in the internet. That’s where I finished Full House with Super Junior. It was fun. It was entertaining. It was educational. (learning the Korean culture can never be this fun!) It was everything I never expected from a boyband as SuJu.
Then just this night, I got to enter a site which translates the CyWorld entries of the members. Being the die-hard Dong Hae and Lee Teuk fan that I am, I looked for theirs first. But it was only Lee Teuk’s that appeared often in the list.
So I read it, and I really fell in love with the SuJu member.
Lee Teuk-sshi is the leader. But in his entries from June 23, 2009 (my 20th birthday) to July something, I sense the sadness and pain which Eeteuk-oppa is going through. Being a hyung to the other 12 members, it really wasn’t easy.
I feel for Eeteuk-oppa. Having the biggest responsibility among the group and to the group, no one can blame him if he tries, even just in the internet, to be himself – TO BE PARK JUNG SOO.
‘IT’S NOT THE END… IT’S AN ‘AND’.’ - This moved me. These words that came from his diary entry. I can’t help but cry when I realized that these are the words I need. These are the words I have to live with.
There is one thing common between me and Eeteuk-oppa. We are actually sacrificing things for the sake of people we ought to lead. For him, being a hyung means accepting that there are sacrifices to be made. For me, being someone who is looked up to in terms of some aspects in life (i should say…modesty aside) means having to take all the pain before it reaches my dongsaengs.
I cannot blame Eeteuk-sshi for implying that he wish everything would just end. I often do that to. I get myself tired for a day or more, hoping that I wouldn’t wake up the next morning. Being the leader is really difficult. Good thing Eeteuk-sshi is supported well by the other members of Super Junior.
Instead of completing my thesis and reviewing for two exams tomorrow, I indulged myself to know a little about EETEUK-sshi. And it was worth it, because as I know him, I get to know myself better too.