I honestly lost track of time. No, I guess it's okay for me to say now that I forgot... until I was reminded that there's gonna be something today - which happens to be your 29th birthday.
Maybe, I moved on already? Maybe I'm okay? Maybe, I have already shrugged the pain your sudden departure has brought since it has already been two years? I really don't know, except the fact that yeah, I'm okay now.
And I guess, most of us are, already.
But of course, there are these times when I just have to surrender the fact that I miss you - to the point that I want to turn back time. I tried to shrug it all off by the idea that maybe, the emotions are all just part of the fact that I miss the whole gang. But no, I know I miss you for who you are.
I miss the softness of your voice. I miss how it's always calm and soothing. I miss your smiles even though I could no longer tell which among those are real and fake. I miss how you would protect your members in SJM (especially Donghae and Henry). I miss everything.
But I guess I've learned to accept the fact that it would never happen again...
...although I also learned how to believe in miracles.
I know I promised to believe. Everybody did. But people get tired. You know that so well and I think I might have learned that from you too. It's human nature, after all. And besides, I have let you go when you decided to leave. You wanted to control your destiny and I was made to believe that it is our fate to separate.
Nonetheless, I offer you support. Maybe not like how I used to anymore, but in my heart, I will always cheer and hope for the best for you. Because you deserve that; you do deserve that.
So happy birthday... Take care of your health. Stop smoking, okay? And yeah, thank you so much for all the memories.
With all sincerity,