Wednesday, September 29, 2010

To Hell, From Angel.

One more hour and life will begin. I can’t wait. Today has been very slow. To think that this season of equinox is supposed to give us longer nights. Aish.
Longer hours of doing what I want to do. That is what I exactly need. Longer hours of being happy. There’s so much I want to do, so many places I need to go to. There are so many dreams in my head waiting to be fulfilled.
But you know what makes things difficult than how it really is?
I am imprisoned in a responsibility which I was never ready for. I was forced to face something I have been dreading all my life.
Sometimes, I can’t help but be envious with my friends. You see, most of them are working too but they are in the field which we’ve studied four years for. Also, they get to work for themselves. They always get the choice on what to do with what they earn.
Unlike me. Definitely unlike me.
It’s just that, maybe, all these depression is because of the issues about the tickets for Super Show 3 Manila. Maybe I’m getting frustrated by just thinking about thePOSSIBILITY that all tickets we want are now reserved and we’ve been ‘fooled’ and given false hopes that we can actually sit at the best areas today.
If it’s the truth, FUCK THAT.
Because I didn’t go through anything easy just to earn and save money.
To hell with all the distances I walked, to hell with the snacks I refused to eat, to hell with the things I should’ve bought but chose not to, to hell with not being able to go out with friends, to hell with the guilt that I couldn’t even buy my mom the simplest of a birthday gift, to hell with the fact that I didn’t get to experience an after-grad vacation because I had to work immediately…
To hell with all the efforts exerted just to save at least NINE THOUSAND PESOSfor a ticket while being a means of survival for my family.
Being poor didn’t and could never stop me from seeing my lifelines. But this, if real,is just too insulting.

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