Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Sorry, Leeteuk.


You know why I wasn’t able to write anything for the Angels’ Haven? It’s because I was too depressed to do so. Writing isn’t as easy as what you think. It’s not always that I get the drive and motivation to do so.
At the moment, I’m still not okay. I’m not that strong person anymore. Pain and pressure collided to bring me down, and I’m not winning. I am almost giving up. I’m almost getting insane.
But I realized, maybe it was just because I was too busy prioritizing things over myself. The kind of person that I am now was the one I’ve long forgotten. Prior to this, I am the strongest. I am the most happy-go-lucky girl.
Because during those times, Super Junior is my strength.
I should have known. I shouldn’t have allowed any interference. I shouldn’t have insisted. I shouldn’t have chosen reality over fantasy. I shouldn’t have paid attention to that one person who I thought could really be Super Junior’s counterpart to me.
I am guilty.
And I wish I could get to say sorry. I wish I could get to hug Jungsoo-oppa. I wish I could go back to what I used to be, way way before things aren’t still complicated.
I need to get back to myself. I need to get back to the world I live in, the Sapphire Blue World.
10 days more, Angel… 10 days more.

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