Sunday, December 4, 2011

The Start of Goodbye.

Remember when I wrote something about Heenim's enlistment? I think I can now claim that I was right when I said that. At least for me, it is what's happening and tonight, I am feeling the exact emotions which overwhelmed me that very moment when I posted that entry.

Because as Jungsu says goodbye to KTR Sukira, I have this god-feeling that the strings of farewells before he enlists for the army has actually began.

This is actually the reason why I got really, really affected by the news that Jungsu's saying goodbye to Sukira. Heechul has gone through this series of endings too, so I know that the road we're taking right now is leading to the most dreaded hiatus due to enlistment.

I have been telling myself that I'll be fine, I'll be okay and I'll get by when Jungsu leaves. But I think I said that and I made myself believe in that because I don't want to sound like he is dictating my life already. But come to think of it, even if it's not manipulating my life, he greatly affects me in a way that I become a better a person. And there's no way that I'll be able to be in a good state when my guiding light disappears.

Yes, I live a life other than this fandom but I guess I cannot run from the fact that I am clueless as to how my life would be once Jungsu enlists. He has been my constant inspiration. Even if I get addicted and obsessed with other groups and idols, he will always be my home.

And with the start of goodbyes, I don't think I can really handle it well..

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