Wednesday, June 8, 2011

After We Wake Up from this Dream, What Happens Next?

When I saw the scanned pictures for Glamorous of Jungsoo, Heechul and Jongwoon on the internet, I shed tears. Well, aside from the undeniable beauty which they managed to exude on those pictures, it is the effect – grainy, black and white – which made me dumbfounded.
Suddenly, a question popped out of my mind. Without thinking, I asked myself, ‘What comes next after I wake up from this dream?’
You see, I am this addicted to Super Junior but it does not make me delusional. I know for a fact that this story shall end. In ten or twenty years, these boys will separate ways, live their own lives and become someone else. In ten or twenty years, Super Junior will most likely be out of the entertainment industry already.
And I wonder what will happen to me.
The promise I made of believing forever is not empty. I meant those words when I said it. Fifteen, thirteen, ten… Even if there’s only member left, I will believe in them. But as I’ve said, what if this dream ends? What if this book closes?
Will we ever be prepared?
Seeing those pictures, I imagined myself ten or twenty years from now. I imagined myself to be the old man scanning the photo albums and frames on that SS2 VCR. Time will pass and all that is left for me to do is to reminisce – go back to the times when there are still reasons to scream, jokes to be heard, choreographies to dance, songs to sing.
This is such a mature thought, I know. Even I, myself, cannot believe that I am capable of having these thoughts on my mind. But then, preparing to face reality takes years to be completed; sometimes, time would not even be enough. Time will shove truth to our faces – on the right time – whether we like it or not.
Right now, it’s no longer the army things or marriages which I am dreading the most. I just realized that ten to twenty years from now, I would probably give up all my selfish expectations just to see them as a group again.

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