As tight as Kyuhyun‘s hug to SHINee’s Jonghyun. As sincere as Teukkie‘s embrace to Onew, Hyukjae & Shindong. I badly need one.
Because I’m breaking down. Because I can’t seem to go on. Because I’m tired.
I wish I could find someone to tell me and assure me through a warm embrace that everything’s gonna be fine under my control. I wish I could find someone who could comfort me this time. I’m so tired of taking care of people. And this is the time that I would want to be taken care of the most.
I’m not being selfish. I just want to feel secured. I just want to feel loved. I just want to feel protected – from all this pain, from all the pressure, from everything that is hurting me.
Seeing the pictures makes me envious. It somehow makes me tear up. I’m so jealous of Kyuhyun, Onew, Hyukjae & Shindong. They have Jonghyun & Teukkie to hug them and protect them. They have the leader or the hyung to share their pain and happiness with. And me, I have none.
Because everytime I do whine or rant about my pain, I always end up being reprimanded. I always end up being the weak and stupid one.
I guess this is the downside of being a leader, or at least being older. Everybody expects me to be tough, everybody expects the best from me. Everybody thinks I’m always okay.
But it’s not always like that.
I guess I made you understand too why Teukkie’s always emotional.