Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Yet Another Crossroad

I’m being led to something. I know, and I believe, that my heart and mind is clashing again. Both are forcing me to make opposite decisions. But what should I do? I don’t know which a better advisor is.
Heart over mind. People tell me that I should obey whatever my heart desires, for it is the only thing that can see rightly. My heart knows my deepest desires, my greatest wishes. It feels.
Mind over heart. Others say that the reason why mind is placed in a higher place than our hearts because it is superior. It sees the situation. It acts practically and does not decide in a drastic manner, as the heart does. It thinks.
Heart or mind?
This is yet another crossroad. Well, a little similar to the pasts since it talks about the same topic. But this time, greater things are at stake. If I choose to obey my heart, I will get to fulfill my deepest desires and that would make me happy. But how can I do that if I’ve got no support? How can I fulfill my dreams if I didn’t prepare for it? If I choose my mind, what would become of me? How can I continue if I’m no longer happy? Sure thing, I’ll get to fulfill my dreams but how can I start taking the first step if I’ve got no motivations anymore?
That’s the problem. I AM TORN. I am torn between two things which I know is good for me. And I never thought that choosing between two good things will be equally difficult as choosing between two evils. Whichever. I have to keep holding on the only thing that’s keeping me sane.
I don’t know if I’m making sense. My stomach’s aching like crazy again and it’s just gonna be a few minutes more before I could leave this place. Maybe I’m disappointed. Maybe I’m just getting tired. Okay.

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