It has been so long since I felt this loneliness, this pain. It’s as if everything turned their back against me. And now, I can’t seem to understand how I feel. I just want to rest. Definitely.
Is this how Kang In feels now? After everything that had happened… Does he feel the way I do?
But he’s lucky. Coz he can feel the comfort of people he loves. Coz he can see what he is supposed to feel. Teukkie is there. The rest of Super Junior members are there. He won’t feel deserted.
Opposite to my situation.
One question. Do tears really have to fall? Do we really have to see tears flowing to be convinced that someone is hurting? It doesn’t make sense. Why can’t people understand that not all tears define sadness. And not all sadness are defined by tears.
At the moment, I am wishing that someday, I’m gonna find someone who will just hug me without me, asking for it. Someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I’m going through. Someone to care for me the way I’ve always wanted to be taken care of.
Someday, I wish to find the Super Junior to the Kang In that is myself.
Coz like him, it’s not everyday that I am strong. Coz it’s not everyday that I would want to hear excuses saying “I don’t need to show you what I’m doing.” Come on. There are times that one has to see to believe. Emotions can’t be trusted at all times.
I’m pretty much emotional tonight. Maybe I’m just missing lots of things now. Maybe I’m just missing myself. And I pray that Kang In’s issue will be resolved soon.