Countdown to the Temporary End

So I guess it’s not just me who felt it. The 5jib songs are very upbeat but as I listen to the whole album and with the use of my very limited knowledge in Korean language, this album makes my heart so heavy.

The first night, I cried myself to sleep. The next morning, I was trying hard to stop the tears from falling everytime I see tweets about it because I need to concentrate on my work. At this very moment, tears are freely falling again. I couldn’t bear the huge possibility that after this 5th album, it will be long before a new one comes again… or there’ll be none anymore at all.

It is really difficult especially when I am depending on my own instinct telling me that the songs in this album are all like premonitions to the most dreaded goodbye. Everybody knows the translation of Good Friends already and right now, I’m bawling over it. This is how I am right now. I can’t imagine myself when I am finally presented with the translations of Sunflower, Memories, Walkin’, and for God’s sake, My Love, My Kiss, My Heart.

Last night, I talked to Danica about it. I couldn’t really stop myself from getting too emotional. I know this is going to happen but no matter how many times I tried to get myself prepared, nothing became successful. My heart is still aching every minute I listen to the songs. It hurts so much that that time has come this early and it makes me feel like this 5jib promotions is much like a countdown to the temporary end.

Yes, I understand and I want to believe that after the boys have gone to the army, they’ll get back together as the kings that they are. But I fear the absence. I have gotten used to living with them and partly for them. I even convinced myself that they are my horcruxes, and I’ve already misplaced three. What would become of me when the remaining ten leave?

Super Junior has taught me to hold on to them and to this fandom for happiness everytime I’m down. But every story ends and I just wish that through this 5jib, they can teach me too how to carry on without them.

Coz at the moment, I don’t think I can handle the pain of parting ways.