On a Rollercoaster Ride.

So Heechul is finally enlisting in the army in six days. It was sudden. It was terribly unexpected. And if the cat didn’t grew conscience (KIDDING!), we would all have been clueless of his whereabouts before we knew of the step he would then have made.

I don’t want to be a hypocrite. Just like an immature child, the initial feeling that came to me was that I felt disappointed and betrayed. News have said that they are going to enter the army by the end of 2012. But it’s just mid-2011, and he’s leaving already.

Also, I was never prepared that Heenim will enlist alone. I really thought that the leader would have someone to come with him. And yeah, in case they really have to enlist on their own, it was so far from my idea that Heenim will leave first. I was expecting a temporary goodbye from Jungsoo.

Nonetheless, it happened. And we all have no choice but to accept it.

I knew it was so selfish and stupid of me to think that Heenim should delay his enlistment. I was expecting to see him in Super Show 4, and truth be told, I am working hard to save money in order to go to Korea by the time of his supposed enlistment with Jungsoo – and send them off to the army. And you see, it was actually difficult to convince myself that they have to go through this. I needed time. I know we all needed time.

But two weeks, Heenim gave us two weeks to ready ourselves. We were even on hook because he wanted to do this with the usual way he does things – NINJA STYLE.

But is Heenim to blame?

NO.

Separation is an inevitable part of this fandom. And I can’t do anything with that.

I am just hurting because since the start of this blog, I have made it clear that I hate goodbyes. I don’t want to see people departing and leaving – even temporarily.

Because I fear the possibility of a change of heart…

From which party, I cannot tell. :’(

I have 6 days left to get off this rollercoaster ride. And I wonder how many days left before it’s Teuk’s turn to leave.