It’s unpredictable and scary how my thoughts change. First moment, I’m okay. The next moment, I’m not. It’s kind of stupid and sarcastic in a way, I know, but it cannot be helped; and the more I experience it, the more I get annoyed with myself and with the fact that I lack focus.
I am becoming a jack of all trades but a master of none. It’s scaring me. In the future, if I continue like this, I’ll just be an empty soul – wandering around and etching my name on the walls I passed by and people still would not know who I am. Yes, I’m afraid that I won’t be remembered.
Truth is: I want a legacy. Really. I need a legacy – something people will remember me of. I want to be an expert on something; not an average on just anything. I don’t want to come second or third always. Because though it’s stupid to admit this,NOBODY REMEMBERS SECOND PLACERS.
But the problem is, I lack focus. Next is I don’t know what I really want to do from which I’ll surely benefit. Yes, I’m great at fangirling; but at the end of the day, it wouldn’t feed me. Well unless I got into the production staff of SM Entertainment. >.<
Argh. I don’t know. I seem so carefree about life but this burden is eating me up every damn night before I sleep. It’s never ending. >.<