Since this issue came up, too much had been said and I don’t know which to believe. Kyuhyun, Hyukkie and Donghae had expressed their thoughts. From them, I knew something’s really wrong. And honestly, their words weren’t enough to keep me from going crazy. I knew I need to hear more.
I knew I need to hear it from Jungsoo and Heechul.
But the biggest surprise as it is, they have chosen to close their Cyworld accounts. I’ve tried visiting Jungsoo’s page but it was a fail. I can’t access Heechul’s so I relied on the updates. True enough, they said nothing but I heard everything – everything I have to know.
I can’t figure out why. But I’m certain that this is for the good of everyone. Teukkie and Heechul shut down their minihompies to keep everything, to clarify nothing. Nothing was made certain except for one thing – it’s difficult.
Sigh. This is what I’m really fearing. You all know already that above anyone else, it is the leader who I care for the most. And now, I feel his pain. Though Seoul is million miles away from Bulacan, I can sense he’s hurting.
And as seldom as this may be, I fear for Heenim too. This is another point when I want to know what he’s thinking, what’s his opinion on this. I want to know how he reacted. I want to know what he’s gonna say. I know he cannot be as strong as how we’ve all known him to be on this.
Because Teukkie and Heenim are the two oldest. Because they’ve got to carry the burden of all these. Because they are the ones who are supposed to have guided Hankyung through all these issues.
But I’m not blaming anyone here. I’m merely pointing out what’s on my mind. I cannot blame for I’m not in the position to say anything. I’m not to judge anyone. I’m not to conclude anything. Because I’m JUST a fan. I’m just a fan who keeps on waiting for more updates and for someone to finally tell all the ELFs in the world that everything’s just a prank.
But as I came to my senses, I realized that maybe, just maybe; Teukkie and Heenim are right with keeping their thoughts from their fans. Because sometimes, silence is really much better than speaking what’s in the mind – to pacify things, to keep things simpler, to make everything right.
They chose to keep silent. And I believe it’s the best thing to do. I’ve been waiting for their opinions and these are what I get. But it doesn’t matter, because whatever they do, I will support and believe in.
I just hope I’m doing the right thing too. And just a while ago, during the mass; as I play the piano, I continuously offer my service for the clarification of everything. I prayed that things will be better off soon.
For the mean time, I will try my best to keep silent too. I don’t want to talk about this when the angel, himself, wouldn’t. I knew there are greater reasons behind than those reasons I’ve got in my mind. I will try to shut up.