Sometimes, I want to think that I was better off a Korean than a Filipino. (But of course, I would always shake that idea off.) Because in that way, I would be able to explain to myself what is it with Leeteuk that makes me care for him the most. Though race wouldn’t matter when it comes to fandom, I am still looking for the simplest reason why I would always feel this way towards the leader.
Random? No. I just can’t find the right words to say.
I feel so like Edward Cullen – very protective of his Bella, never wanting to see his love in pain. As Jungsoo is my Bella, I don’t want to see him shed tears over things that hurt him, because just be seeing him this way hurts me too. And it agonizes me more to realize that there is nothing else I could do to make him feel better other than saying I love him, repeatedly.
For the nth time, I wish I could be Heechul. I wish I could be the one person to hug him and protect him when he feels like everything’s wrong. I wish I could be his guard. I wish I could be his shield. I wish I could be everything to him.
I wish that I can wipe his tears, his fears and loneliness away. I wish I could send him heaven’s grace so that he may find his happiness again. Though I want it to be me.
Aisssh. I’m getting overboard. What am I saying? Tears are apparently falling. Oh, my angel. Hush now, please. Things are gonna be fine. You can rest and you know that. Find your heaven. I love you.
Sorry for always discussing this. I have the tendency to go in circles and do the same things when I’m stressed.